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New Felt Regret Over Past Relationship

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Old 04-01-2010, 12:05 PM   #1
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New Felt Regret Over Past Relationship

I don't know what has happened to me. I was in a 3 year relationship that began 6 years ago. He really loved me. We broke up because we weren't getting along, due in part to us having communication & I depression issues, but remained friends afterwards. We stayed in touch after he moved to another town. About 1 1/2 years ago he was seeing a woman who became pregnant after a few months and they married. Our communication faded over time, and I understood. Over the past three years I have been diagnosed with a thyroid disorder and have personally gotten older and wiser about what I'm looking for in a relationship. For some reason I woke up this morning with this horrible feeling of regret over our relationship ending. I don't understand why now. I've been crying all day (I haven't cried in years, so this is very unusual for me). I truly am glad he has found someone but I don't understand why I'm upset now or why reacting so strongly. I gave him a call to catch up thinking this would help and the conversation was fine, how are you's, etc. I didn't mention the crying or regret (no need to put him in an awkward situation). But I still have been crying for a few hours. Any advice on what's going on? I'm currently single (no recent break-ups), have a good job, home, etc, no recent relationship problems.

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Old 04-01-2010, 12:30 PM   #2
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Re: New Felt Regret Over Past Relationship

Hmmm, what could I say?

Maybe you were for the first time in touch with your feelings. Don't try to judge them, whether they are right or wrong, appropriate or unappropriate.

Just allow yourself to feel them and let them go. They will pass, and the less judgemental you are about them, the faster they will go.

You may also be mourning the loss of your relationship with that man, but in a way this will allow you to become more mature and better prepared for whatever comes your way.

Go with your flow, be open, and I am sure you will be reaping good things.

At least, that is my earnest wish for you.

Old 04-01-2010, 04:28 PM   #3
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Re: New Felt Regret Over Past Relationship

It could possibly be tied to your thyroid condition. They thyroid gland does regulate certain hormones and when our hormones are out of whack it can throw our emotions out of whack, too.

But can you pinpoint exactly what your thougths were regarding this man when you woke up? You say you don't know why you've been crying, but I bet you can get a better handle on it if you try to get in touch with your emotions a little better. What were you thinking about him? The good times? Do you feel he's "the one that got away?" You say you're single, so I'm assuming you are not in a relationship? Perhaps you want to be? Perhaps he was closer than anyone you've known so far to what you really wanted in a man and you feel you missed out on something good with him? Or maybe you thought you'd be the one to get married first, and somehow you feel you "lost" the "who will move on and be happy first" game?

Once you pinpoint what triggered the sadness then you can come up with a game plan to deal with it. If you're missing being with someone, then maybe it's time to get yourself ready to get out there again and meet someone great. Perhaps you still need to work on putting some closure on this relationship so you can move on. Perhaps you can journal about it. Journaling can help you connect the dots and make sense out of your emotions and help you work through them. Kind of self therapy, in a way.

Old 04-05-2010, 08:33 PM   #4
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Re: New Felt Regret Over Past Relationship

I woke that morning after having dreamt about my ex-boyfriend. We had been at my childhood home and were simply hanging out together, enjoying the day. I woke up the same as I have from any dream, surprised about the subject but not affected too much. I went to work and for some reason started to think about him in such an intense manner. I couldn't think about the reasons we broke up, only what we missed out on. Is this normal after such a long time of separation? Why now? I've dreamt about him and tons of other stuff before and never had such a reaction. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he's the one that got away. I don't feel any resentment or animosity towards him for getting married. Truthfully, I feel bad that he married under such rushed circumstances. I can't imagine the hardship of marrying someone due to a pregnancy. I wouldn't wish that kind of pressure on anyone.

Last edited by ktthyroid; 04-05-2010 at 08:46 PM.

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