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Abusive Friend

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Old 04-09-2010, 10:26 PM   #1
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bugeye HB User
Exclamation Abusive Friend

I have been trapped in an abusive friendship for eight years. "Cassie" verbally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically abuses me. She considers me her "best friend", but she cusses me out once a month or more (considering that we only connect every few days online, that is a lot). I am in the process of distancing myself from her.
There's just one problem: my graduation party is coming up soon. I don't want to invite her because, honestly, she just makes me sick. The last thing she told me was harsh and involved swear words. I'm taking that as a green light to abandon ship. Anyway, if I invite her, it will just make disconnecting more difficult. If I tell her there is no graduation party, it won't be realistic. Plus, we have mutual friends that will inevitably talk about it. If she finds out that I left her out, she will drag her family and all of my friends into this.
Do I invite her and have a miserable party or do I exclude her and face her wrath?

Last edited by bugeye; 04-09-2010 at 10:27 PM.

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Old 04-10-2010, 03:57 PM   #2
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aleksia HB Useraleksia HB User
Re: Abusive Friend

You should exclude her. Why have you stayed in an abusive "friendship" for 8 years? She abused you even physically? She doesn't sound like someone I would want to have anything to do with. She isn't your friend and you should get away from her asap.

Old 04-16-2010, 10:57 AM   #3
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Re: Abusive Friend

Drop her like a hot potato! Verbal, emotional and physical abuse? Please. Why were you "trapped" for eight years? Did she hand cuff you to her ankle? Get out or get dogged for another eight years.

Old 04-16-2010, 11:05 AM   #4
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Re: Abusive Friend

bugeye: I agree, cut the cord. She obviously doesn't get the message. Why continue the torment. Sometimes females can be mean and say the wrong things. I know I'm alot older than you are and I'm still having problems with relatives and neighbors.

Once you've been burnt by these people it's tough to maintain a relationship with them because you can't forget the stuff that's happened. I wouldn't invite her to the party.
Why let her ruin it for you and your other friends. Be blunt with her and tell her how you feel and that you need to move on with your life. If she's done things to you in the past then she'll continue to do it in the future. Let people talk if they want. They're going to be talking about the bad time they had if she comes anyway. People always find something to talk and gossip about. Don't let it bother you. Go have fun!

Old 04-16-2010, 11:44 AM   #5
River rocks
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Re: Abusive Friend

Drop it like it's hot.

You're not responsible for the aftermath, She has brought it all on herself. You enable her abusive behavior when you invite her to things. End the cycle and move on.

Have fun at your party and congratuations on your graduation!

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