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JohnR41 04-10-2010 03:11 PM

Female friend likes to talk a lot.
You might think there's nothing wrong with talking a lot. Right? Well, I'm not against talking. But often it seems excessive. Often we are not really having a conversation, unless you count the one or two words I manage to interject into her monologue. And there are times when she actually leaves room for me to put in a whole sentence. Even a paragraph, occasionally! It's rare.

I've known her for many years and it hasn't changed at all. Caffeine, which she likes, makes it much worse. I'm beginning to think that this could be compulsive behavior. Sometimes all I have to do is say one or two words and she thinks she knows what I'm going to say, so she finishes the sentence for me. Then, without pausing, she changes the subject and goes on and on.
Sometimes I will try to provide a signal that I would like to make a comment. I'll say something like, "Well!" or "I" or "That's". I'll use any word that sounds like it could be the beginning of a sentence. She is a very observant person and very intelligent so it's hard to believe she doesn't notice. Often, the only effect is to get her more fired up and talking even faster.

To top it off, a lot of what she says is nothing new. I've heard most of it before. :p

Whatever happened to the art of conversation? Is it dead and buried?


sunnyrise 04-10-2010 05:32 PM

Re: Female friend likes to talk a lot.
I find most people are self-absorbed and just like to hear themselves talk, I don't know if they are venting or what..

I think the "art of listening" is rare these days. My ex-boyfriend also liked to talk and sometimes I could hardly get a word in or when I tried to, he would interrupt me and I would say "Hello, I am trying to say something and you are interrupting me"..

Sometimes we have to be polite but assertive. I try to be a good listener but that's me.

The only advice I have for you is to either start asserting yourself in a nice way (i.e.: "this is a one-way conversation and I would appreciate it if you would let me talk" or something like that).. Or buy her a book on the art of listening (hint, hint)..

Good luck,

aleksia 04-10-2010 05:45 PM

Re: Female friend likes to talk a lot.
I agree with Sunny. The art of listening is rare and a lot of people seem to just want an audience. I used to put up with it but realized that it is better to be alone that somebody's audience. Now I only get together with people where there is a give and take instead of an one way street.

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