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Issue between husband-wife and mother-in-law

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Old 04-18-2010, 02:44 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2010
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seel HB User
Issue between husband-wife and mother-in-law


I am in a big problem,I m not able to decide if I am correct or wrong.Please read the below situation and let me know who is correct?
My husband is in Europe.I was stayig at my mother-in-law's place.Recently I came to my mother's place to stay for a month as my parents were about to fly to US.So I thought I will come and spend some time at my parents place for few days before they leave.
When i came, I forgot to call up my mother-in-law and i called her ,not very late,but after 6 days.She was so angry on me that I called her 6 days late that,the first reply that she gave when she recieved my call was
"did u get time now to call?"
I felt very bad,I thought I will call her and talk to her well,But she was so angry that she responded in this bad way and after that she did not even talk to me.
Friends,I told the same to my husband,But he told his mom was correct and that he will always support them and not me when it comes between chosing them or me correct.I did not expect my husband to go and fight with his mom,but 1 sentence "I know mom was angry and she reacted badly,But u forget it"
If my husband had told tghis I would have forgotten everything.
Friends,Please let me know if i was correct in expecting this?This has become a big question for me now.I have left my parents for my husband ,and now i get such answers from my husband.Please let me know if i am wrong anywhere.

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Old 04-18-2010, 09:39 AM   #2
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justmel30 HB User
Re: Issue between husband-wife and mother-in-law

I would have said see ya! I'm sorry, even though I'm a mom of three sons, and even though I love them more then anything in the world, I would hope when they marry, that they make their wives the priority. Even though I'm sure I will want to be important to them and I'm sure sometimes I will feel left out. But when you marry, you are supposed to be choosing that person above all others.

As far as the situation between you and your mother inlaw.........Ok, so you probably should have called before 6 days had gone by. However, she could have been much kinder and I agree with you that the silent treatment is not very nice. And from everything you said, I cant see any reason why your husband would say what he said to you. My guess is he has had mommy issues with others in the past. He has probably been challenged by others over his mom and he's a little defensive about it. If I'm right, it is never going to get any easier. At some point you will either have to learn to be second best, or get out. I couldnt handle being second rate in MY marraige. I would tell him right where to go and be done with it.

Old 04-18-2010, 10:05 AM   #3
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Re: Issue between husband-wife and mother-in-law

Your husband sounds like the classic "mama's boy". Unfortunately, those type of husbands always take their mom's side and won't ever see their wife as being more important.

As Mel said, when a man gets married, he is supposed to leave his mommy behind and become a new family with his new wife and any kids that come along. That doesn't mean he should ignore his mom but just that he needs to start working as a team with his wife and solving problems together with his wife.

I'm not sure what you can do except talk to him about it. You need to tell him that it's time to start acting like a real married couple and not like a little boy and his new girlfriend.

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