It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

  • Guys opinions needed please

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 04-26-2010, 07:53 AM   #1
    Anti Social
    Anti Social's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2004
    Location: Ny
    Posts: 424
    Anti Social HB UserAnti Social HB UserAnti Social HB User
    Guys opinions needed please

    Hi all. I need some insight into the male brain..I just found out that my fiance, who I have been with for 3 yrs now, lied to his co worker about cheating on me. He told me that he told his co worker stories about having girls on the side, to "impress him and look cool" bc he doesnt have a lot of friends. My fiance says he has never cheated and that he told him all this bc "thats how some guys are and they need to come off as a player to be considered cool"...Now he has done some shady things similair to this in the past but has always said he has never cheated. I dont know what to believe.

    Now I know how guys are but I think him doing this was totally wrong and hurtful. But on the other hand, I do know thats how guys interact and want to come off "cool". Any advice or thoughts? Do you think he really is cheating or is it just him trying to impress?
    The idle mind is the Devil's workshop.

    Sponsors Lightbulb
    Old 04-26-2010, 08:14 AM   #2
    Senior Veteran
    rosequartz's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: Chicago,IL
    Posts: 11,286
    rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    I'm not a guy, but had to reply anyway.....
    I think this BOY is not mature enough to be your fiance!
    If he is still worrying about peer pressure and impressing other guys, he needs some time to grow up. What's he gonna do if you marry him?
    brag/lie (?) about cheating on his WIFE?
    I'd reconsider this marriage for now.
    I'm not sure if he's lying about cheating or really cheating, but either way, a respectable man who respects his woman wouldn't do either!
    I'd lose this clown.....

    Old 04-26-2010, 08:35 AM   #3
    Senior Veteran
    Larrylou'smom's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Posts: 4,063
    Larrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB UserLarrylou'smom HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    I have to agree with Rose. First, this seems like a really strange way to fit in with the boys. Even if it isn't true, he's still making you a joke and a laughing stock in front of his collegues. How do you think that makes you look to them? What do you think they think of you, assuming he's playing you for a fool and you're too stupid to see he's running around on you and/or too weak to do anything about it? How much respect do you think they now have for your relationship? When he's out with them, and they assume he cheats so they try to get him to take home some chippie they run into at a bar, how do you think he's going to handle it?

    When a man is really ready to commit to a woman and be in a serious relationship, he respects her, and treats her with respect, even when she's not there, to everyone, and expects everyone in his life to treat her with respect, too. He's still a little boy who values what his buddies think more than your reputation, more than your feelings or needs, more than treating you with respect. He's not ready to be a good husband. Not by a long shot.

    Old 04-26-2010, 09:06 AM   #4
    River rocks
    Senior Veteran
    River rocks's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2010
    Location: Riverside
    Posts: 505
    River rocks HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    I agree with the others. Cheating or not, he is disrespectful. Do you find it acceptable to be with someone who will lie about trashing you? And thinks it cool? And needs that kind of validation for the guys? This is like 4th grade mentality.

    Old 04-26-2010, 09:21 AM   #5
    Senior Veteran
    Redneon82's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2007
    Location: California
    Posts: 2,093
    Redneon82 HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    I agree that now he's made you look like a clueless victim at best and a fool at worst. Does he not care at all what he did to you? Or does "looking cool" matter more to him?

    Just to give you some perspective, I had a 4 year relationship with a guy who DID repeatedly cheat on me. After he (thankfully) broke up with me, his friends told me that they had lost a lot of respect for me because I put up with it and stayed. Many people now think I'm a fool and have no respect for myself. Great...

    I would seriously reconsider marrying this guy. Like someone else said, once you're married, is he going to brag about cheating on his wife? He needs to grow up before he's ready to take on the responsibility of being a husband.
    "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

    Old 04-26-2010, 10:20 AM   #6
    caberg's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar 2009
    Posts: 432
    caberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    I'm a 31 year-old male, and I have a varied and large group of friends, acquaintances, and professional contacts, and I don't know anyone who would think it's "cool" to cheat on his significant other. And I know some real losers. Sorry.

    Old 04-26-2010, 08:26 PM   #7
    lemondrop's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 57
    lemondrop HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    Good grief, how immature is your guy?

    Not ALL guys are like that, lying about conquests to sound "cool". In fact, MOST guys are NOT like that. And bragging about cheating? Most guys I know, if they hear a friend of theirs was cheating on his girlfriend would not think so highly of them.

    I can't tell you whether or not you fiance is cheating on you, but he sure does need to grow the heck up. I'd never want to be with a guy who was so boastful about sleeping around or cheating (real or imagined). How revolting.

    Old 04-27-2010, 07:30 AM   #8
    Senior Veteran
    EDC_Light's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2004
    Location: Missouri
    Posts: 790
    EDC_Light HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    OMG, this guy is completely immature, immortal, and VERY disrespectful to you. I think that the others, who responded here, have said enough good things that I can "ditto" their comments. You need to SERIOUSLY reevaluate marrying this guy because what he did should be sending up a HUGE red flag!!
    EDC means EveryDay Carry...........because everyone should carry a small light with them all the time.
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Last edited by EDC_Light; 04-27-2010 at 07:30 AM.

    Old 04-27-2010, 03:42 PM   #9
    Senior Veteran
    digmusic's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 930
    digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    You should read "Dude You're a ***". It's about this exact issue... of course, it's about boys in HIGH SCHOOL. I would advise you to rethink the wedding. I would never marry a guy who did this. I don't even think that sounds excessive because I think this is a big deal and shows a lot about who this guy is.

    Old 04-27-2010, 05:16 PM   #10
    eels and cake
    eels and cake's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2010
    Posts: 2
    eels and cake HB User
    Re: Guys opinions needed please

    Perhaps he is insecure about himself and this draws him to say outlandish things. I know some people who are guilty of similar behavior, when not a kernel of truth was to be found.

    On the other hand, I remember many an evening in the pub where my friends would talk about all the women they pulled in. I never had much to contribute and even though I'm not accustomed to giving into peer pressure, can admit I felt like the odd one out at times because of it. Perhaps he's trying to act like and "alpha". It's disrespectful to you, but a possibility.

    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    need your guys expertise, soon! feelbad Pain Management 10 06-10-2008 08:39 AM
    FNA Results, Opinions Needed Please Freespirited1 Thyroid Disorders 1 02-15-2007 07:04 AM
    please help--how should I respond to these guys? stacykgb20 Relationship Health 8 09-25-2005 10:15 PM
    please help guys! Snails Relationship Health 25 06-16-2005 06:53 AM
    Opinions needed please MandaSue Cancer: Lung 6 01-21-2005 06:32 AM

    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off

    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:16 AM.

    © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!