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  • Ex won't leave me alone.

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    Old 07-21-2010, 10:01 AM   #1
    jerr8899
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    Ex won't leave me alone.

    My ex girlfriend keeps sending me emails begging me to talk to her. She says she still loves me and wants another chance and that she won't give up on me and that I should at least communicate with her.

    But I don't want to. I haven't answered any of her emails because I am afraid that if I do it will give her false hope and would encourage her to write more. Our relationship was very stressful and I don't want that stress back and I certainly don't want to go back to her or have her constantly in my life. I am done with the relationship completely.

    How do I stop her without putting her through more hurt? I just want to be left alone. I am enjoying my freedom and savoring every minute of my life now. I realize how precious it is and how much I took for granted before. I love my life and my family and would NEVER leave them again for any one or anything. If I continue to ignore her, will she go away? I really don't want any drama. I've had enough drama to last me several lifetimes. What do I do?

     
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    Old 07-21-2010, 11:07 AM   #2
    bibimbap
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    Change your e-mail address. Yes, yes, it's a pain, but it's better than having her e-mails filling up your in-box. Plus, why do you read them? You don't have to...anyway, you should just change it. And yes, ignoring her is best. It seems really mean, but if you respond in ANY way at all, she'll take it as a sign that you still care, even if you only respond to tell her to leave you alone. She'll know she got to you and it will make her believe you might still love her.

    I know if I e-mail someone and they don't respond, I get the hint and don't write to them anymore. So hopefully she'll get it. It's sad for her, but you can't give her false hope.

     
    Old 07-21-2010, 11:45 AM   #3
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    May I ask why you are completely done with the relationship and how you came to that conclusion? I'm wondering since I am going through a break up and I'm just concerned about him being totally checked out of the relationship already. Did something bad happen or did you just realize you were done?

    As for ignoring her....it is mean but I'm not sure what else you can do at this point. Have you seen her since the break up or is she just e mailing you? Sometimes people have different feelings about things when they see the person face to face. It's just always hard when one person wants it and the other doesn't. One part of me thinks you need to change your e mail and stuff like that but the other part feels bad. I know exactly what she is going through and honestly no matter what you do, it wont make it better for her. It would almost be harder if you were nice to her or whatever because then she will think there might be hope. As much as I hate it for her....you need to ignore her completely. After a while she'll get it.

     
    Old 07-21-2010, 01:58 PM   #4
    jerr8899
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ST22 View Post
    May I ask why you are completely done with the relationship and how you came to that conclusion? I'm wondering since I am going through a break up and I'm just concerned about him being totally checked out of the relationship already. Did something bad happen or did you just realize you were done?
    It's a long story, but to make it short, I was mentally abused and put upon and couldn't take any more. There was a ton of friction with my family and I was in the middle. We weren't compatible in many ways and the weight of all that together was more than I could handle. Then with the breakup came a lot of accusations and threats and that added with the previous thing has made me no longer want any contact with her.

     
    Old 07-21-2010, 02:01 PM   #5
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    Sounds like no contact in this case (given the abuse) is absolutely best. Any contact at all will fuel her fire and encourage her.

    I think she will give up eventually. Hang tough and good luck!

     
    Old 07-21-2010, 03:52 PM   #6
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    Ok, you are the one who moved in with that lady and her kids but she still was always talking to her ex, and you thought you could set her and her kids straight by being a good influence, but it all ended up going bad...well judging on how she never really stopped talking to her ex I guess it's not surprising she is still trying to talk to you, and even more since you financially supported her and her family (if I read it right). Yes, you need to not reply to her or else she'll keep trying to get you to come back.

     
    Old 07-21-2010, 08:47 PM   #7
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    Change your phone numbers, and change your emails. I had one of these and that was pretty much all it took. My ex did start to call a few people who knew me, but I had allready warned them, and nobody gave my new numbers up. THANK GOODNESS!!!!! That was that, life has been much better and quieter since. Other then that, any talk the two of you have is going to be keeping that door open just a crack, and she will continue and push and push to blow it wide open. Keep it simple, just change your numbers. Good luck!

     
    Old 07-22-2010, 12:51 AM   #8
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    I have to agree, change your phone numbers and emails. You've made it quite clear that the relationship is over and you don't want any contact.

    You won't be hurting her more, she's doing that to herself by not accepting you're finished.

    Contacting her will give her false hope and will only encourage her to keep contacting you. She knows where you stand. Other than threatening to report her for harassing you there's not really anything else you can do.

     
    Old 07-22-2010, 08:02 AM   #9
    sunnyrise
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    I don't understand why you are even reading her e-mails. Delete them and if your service provider allows it, block her. Simple!

     
    Old 07-22-2010, 05:59 PM   #10
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    Re: Ex won't leave me alone.

    I think I would read the e mails too honestly. How could you not lol I would just be way too curious. But anyway, that isn't the point. I understand where you are coming from now with ending the relationship. Finally, enough is enough. She'll understand as time goes by. Soon she'll just get so frustrated that you aren't talking to her or replying that she'll just get over it and be done with it. Hopefully it happens soon good luck!

     
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