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M/F Advice-Opinion needed on past rel~

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Old 08-17-2002, 06:24 PM   #1
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dee10 HB User
Post M/F Advice-Opinion needed on past rel~

hi how r u? I'd really appreciate an opinion. thanks in advance 4 listening. A male perspective would be nice too.
Dec 00 I'm dating a guy. (we're both 25, started as friends). Bc I show affection, I would buy him stuff to say, i luv u. This bothered him, we had 'issues' about it Jan 01. In March, we go 2 a bookstore, he sees a book he wants, I offer 2 buy it, he freaked out. A week later I send the book in the mail. I talk to him on Mon (the night b4 the book arrives), he says, 'we have an issue 2 discuss.' (I didn't tell him about it so it can be a surprise, but I say, u know I would never do anything 2 get u mad on purpose.) he responds, ya but u wouldn't avoid it. Next day, he gets the book; I call him all week, no response. I get $50 in the mail 4 the book; send it back w/ a note: I can't accept this in the spirit it was sent (he was obviously very mad). I leave a message on his machine 3 weeks later for 'closure'. No response. I know he hates me bc he didn't even call on my b-day.
So, is this break-up my fault? I'd like a perspective. Had I not sent the book would things be different? And, is this how most guys break-up w/ someone? Also, why do u think he didn't call me 2 say how mad he was? Oh &, we 'had' similar friends at work but I haven't returned. Is it appropriate 2 visit our workplace where he might see me and tell me off? (or ignore me)
thank u, thank u, keep smiling

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Old 08-17-2002, 07:02 PM   #2
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Mushmelon HB User

If he 'freaked' in the bookstore about you buying him the book why did you go ahead and do it afterwards? Obviously he had a problem with it. Just wondering.

Old 08-17-2002, 07:38 PM   #3
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dee10 HB User

hi there, thanks. your point is well taken. My intention was to give him a book by his fav. author. He was well aware that I don't 'wait' for occasions to do something, ie. X-mas. Granted, I made a choice and it cost me, large. take care

[This message has been edited by dee10 (edited 08-17-2002).]

Old 08-17-2002, 07:43 PM   #4
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gwle HB User

The reason why you went ahead and bought the book is b/c you love him. I think he over-reacted. I guess it offended his macho-male ego crap! I'm assuming he plays the alpha-male role huh? That he has to pay for everything right? Neaaah, foooey! I don't believe in that. If I find that you want something, then I'll try my best to get it for you. Vice versa! Two way street, right?


He doesn't feel the same way as you do and thinks you're moving too fast! Doesn't want a commitment or want to say the 'L' word. Either way, I'm sorry it ended that way. Not all men act that way. Alot of men are straight up about it.
Your mind is your greatest weapon...

Old 08-17-2002, 07:49 PM   #5
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dee10 HB User

GWLE, thank u. your conviction on equity in a rel~ is a class act, I know you'll find someone who appreciates your generosity! all the best.

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