It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

help anyone!! I don't know what to do?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-07-2002, 07:36 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: ny
Posts: 41
drewbaby HB User
Question help anyone!! I don't know what to do?

I have a boyfriend that I love very much.But since recently I don't want to be his girl anymore,I just want to be his bestfriend and flirt with him still.
My reason for this is that I just want to concentrate on my school work better,and I go to church and often feel guilty even though I don't start having sex with him as yet,because god says you can't serve two masters so I choose god.I want to finish high school first and then have my boyfriend.However, I don't know how to tell him this because he gave up alot for me ,I've made him change from being a player e.t.c and he's gonna be so mad if I tell him this he's gonna think that I found somebody else but I don't want to tell him the truth so I'm making up a lie.What must I do or say. thanks for your help!!

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 09-07-2002, 08:37 AM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 63
star508 HB User

Tell him the truth. If you lie and then he finds out, the friendship is pretty much in shambles (not even talking about a relationship). What's the point of lying? You have your priorities, whether that be god or school, and that's your decision. If he doesn't understand or doesn't like it, that's his problem, not yours.

Old 09-07-2002, 10:45 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 354
Greenberry HB User

You can't go through your whole life basing your actions on what somebody else might think of you. It sounds like you have your priorities straight, and I really congratulate you on that! I wish I had been as smart as you when I was in high school!

And as for him thinking that you have found somebody else, your future activities should set him straight. If he sees you NOT hanging around with someone else immediately after you break up, which I understand to be your plan, won't he figure out that you didn't dump him for someone else? And won't he feel foolish for accusing you of that, if that's what he ends up doing?

Breaking up is never easy. If it were me, I would just tell him the truth (that you feel that God is calling you to concentrate on your education at this point in your life) as gently, kindly and quickly as I could. If he gets mad, tell him that you are sorry that he feels that way, but that you have to do what you think is right. That's all you have to say, and try not to drag your part of the conversation out by telling him how sorry you are for hurting him, and that he's given up so much for you, etc., etc. Just say your piece and let him respond. Just my 2 cents...

Old 09-07-2002, 11:55 AM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Atlanta, GA , US
Posts: 310
scbagrrrl HB User

Agree with what has been said so far, but it's TOTALLY not fair to him to want to be friends AND flirt with him.

That's too confusing for any man, especially a young man that hasn't learned all the crap of mixed messages that are out there.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:25 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!