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  • Ladies..How often do you talk to your mother?

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    Old 01-20-2003, 02:50 PM   #1
    RichardNoggin's Avatar
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    Post Ladies..How often do you talk to your mother?

    I know this sounds weird. I just think my wife talks to her mother A LOT! Do you talk to your Mom once a day, week, month? My Mom passed away six years ago and I never say anything to her because I wish I could talk to my mother just once. But it's starting to get worse! We will be making love and her mother calls and if she doesn't call her RIGHT back she gets mad. The woman knows EVERYTHING I do and when I do it. Her mother is retired and bored. So she sits there and thinks up stupid reasons to call! It's getting bad and I need your help ladies. I love her mom she is a wonderful woman. HELP PLEASE

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    Old 01-20-2003, 03:36 PM   #2
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    I know a couple of friends who can't do anything without talking to their mothers first. Personally, I love my mother but I talk to her once a week. I can't live in the same state as her. She is a great woman but if I live close she wants to be to involved in my life (example: telling me how to raise my kids, showing up unannounced, moving things around in my house to where she wants them, and she snopes in closets and drawers!) I think it is great to be close to your mother, but I think there is a limit also. Maybe you and your wife could get her involved in some volunteer work (maybe with kids). If she has something to fill her time it may help.

    Old 01-20-2003, 06:10 PM   #3
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    I don't get along as well as I'd like with my mother so I prefer it to be once every couple of wks that we speak. (I do live in the same state)

    But boy do I understand what you're going through. My mother in law is just like your wife's mother. She calls all the time, about really stupid things. She is also like the previous poster as she has gone sticky-beaking in all our cupboards once. She wants us over there for dinner all the time. She drops by unannounced sometimes which drives me batty. She keeps buying second-hand junk to give to us. I have bought a caller-ID answering machine and if I see that it's her and she's called several times that day or past couple of days I won't answer it. You should consider buying one if you haven't already.

    Maybe your MIL has laid guilt trips on your wife so she feels like she must answer the phone every time her Mum calls. But we both know that's just not right. It's your home and you have the right to answer the phone whenever you choose, not just because you can hear it ringing.

    This is going off the track a bit but my husband is going overseas soon for a couple of weeks and she is pretty much forcing me to go out somewhere with her (I have no excuse because she sprung it on me WAY in advance). *I can hardly wait*. Yeah it's nice to be wanted but I think she goes too far and doesn't give us our space.

    Old 01-20-2003, 10:15 PM   #4
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    I talk to my mom maybe once every 2 months.We usually don't have much to talk about as I live a boring life and she spends all her time bowling and visiting "her" mom in the nursing home so when we do talk she usually does all the talking.I never was one for telling my mom EVERYTHING, at least not till maybe 20 or 30 years later !

    Old 01-21-2003, 05:37 AM   #5
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    I usually talk to my mother every couple of days (we are very close).

    However, I do not let it get out of hand. I mean if I am doing something and do not get back to her it really is ok.

    Please explain to your wife your feelings and see if she can work on the situation. It might just be that she is unaware of how consuming the relationship is.

    Good luck.

    Life is a gift. Your loved ones are the benefits.
    Respect them both and you will reap the rewards.

    Old 01-21-2003, 06:04 AM   #6
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    I talk to my mom probably 4-6 times a week. A lot of the time it's just a 2-3 minute call about a specific topic ("Hey, turn on Channel 8, there's something on you may want to see..." or "What do I do if my roast is blackened on the outside and raw on the inside?" or something like that..) About twice a week we talk longer for 20-30 minutes. However, my mom tries to call mostly when my husband is at work or out of town, unless it is a quick call. She says she doesn't want to disrupt our "family time."

    It sounds like you have a problem with your wife, and not your mother-in-law. If your wife is telling her private stuff about you and your relationship, that is a problem with your wife and not your mother-in-law. I tend to err the opposite way--I tell my mother NOTHING. Perhaps you should tell your wife it bothers you that her mother knows everything about everything.

    Old 01-21-2003, 04:51 PM   #7
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    I am very close with my mom and we talk everyday. When i am at work if i havent herd from her by 10 i usually call her. We talk about alot of things but it is by far not out of hand at all. Sometimes she can get out of hand and call my work and my cell like 20 times tryin to get ahold of me when i am in a meeting or something. Or if she knows i went out partyin and i don't answer my phone she will call every 5 mins until i do!! MY mom just worries alot. She will come have lunch with me or we will go see a movie. My mom is my bestfriend. If I tell her mom you are buggin me Chris and i are watchin a movie or sometihng like that she doesn't get mad. I am very fortunate to have the relationship that i have with my momma! I love her to death.

    Your wife needs to have a talk with her mom and tell her what is going on ( in a nice way )

    Old 01-23-2003, 08:51 AM   #8
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    my mom and my grandmother are very close, my grandmother lives in a different continent but they still talk every day for hours! she also talks almost everyday to my uncle and aunts and they all live very far. they talk via internet phone so atleast we don't have to worry about the phone bills

    Old 01-24-2003, 06:29 AM   #9
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    I talk to my mom every day and she only lives eight miles away from me! My mom and dad are my best friends now that I am an adult with a child of my own. Granted, they weren't so great when I was a kid because they were so young when I was born and they weren't ready for the responsibility. Now, they treat me like a contemporary and not like I am still a child living in their house. They respect my privacy and I respect theirs.
    If you see me let me know because I have been looking for myself all day.

    Old 01-24-2003, 10:29 AM   #10
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    I think my situation is very different from most. I am single and live alone, always have.

    In my younger days, 30-40's, I probably talked to Mom once or twice a week. Now I am 53 and my Mom (81 yrs old) has Alzheimers and lives in a pretty isolated rural area with my 86 yr old father.

    I now call Mom every day without fail. She is lonely, can't read or do much for herself. One of the highlights of her day is my 10 minute phone call. There are days I just don't know if I can make that is very difficult to talk with her because her verbal skills are almost all gone. But I remember that it won't be long before I will not be able to talk to her. And I make the call. I don't think I've missed more than one or two days in the last 3-4 yrs.

    I know that went she is gone, I'll be glad that I was able to give her such joy from such a small thing.


    Old 01-24-2003, 11:30 AM   #11
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    I don't know if there is a right amount of times to talk to your mother. As usual, I agree with Greenberry. My mother lives on the same property but there are days that we will go without talking. Our relationship hasn't always been wonderful but I appreciate her so much now. I love being able to pick up the phone for the little valuable tidbits of information that only a mother can the cooking directions, sewing help!, family history and things like that. She also tries so hard to not interrupt my time. I do think that it is your wife's place to tell her mom that "now is not a good time, but I will call you back" or something like that.

    Old 01-26-2003, 09:57 PM   #12
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    tell your wife that if she doesnt become a little more independent sometime during the next year, youre gonna have to marry her mother, because apparently mom knows a lot better how to make you happy

    Old 01-27-2003, 04:22 PM   #13
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    I talk to my mom and dad everyday or every other day but they are not embedded in my personal life lol. They know the basics like how my day went and how the kids are but nothing more unless its important like healthwise.

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    Old 01-27-2003, 07:17 PM   #14
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    I never speakwith my biological mother. She sends a card at Christmas, but that is as far as it goes. My step-mom I speak to maybe once or twice a week, and just about the kids, because they like to go see the grandparents.

    Old 01-28-2003, 07:12 AM   #15
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    I speak to my mother alot. The reason why is because I stop by after work. I do a car pool thing and thats are meeting point. But its only for a couple minutes that I see her.

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