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6 months in and 6 months to go -- hating it

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Old 01-30-2011, 11:18 PM   #1
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6 months in and 6 months to go -- hating it

I would have thought by now things would have gotten better but that is not the case, my doctor is very encouraging and right at this time my virus copies are unreadable -- when I started they were 5,800.000. I always thought I was a strong person but this has totally knocked me backwards. After all this time I still feel sick, head hurts, feel very weak, but my legs really drive me up they constantly acke. I spend way too much time crying and as for my support group, my bf kinda just ignores me when I hurt or states I should be alot better by now. I have been forcing myself to do things but I am starting to feel more and more isolated and I always hurt, I hate actually talking to people, the one thing I really feel I need I can't have with me, which is my little dog. Disability sucks, but I am becoming more and more depressed all the time, yes I have been givin depression medication too. I lie to everyone saying my bf is great but where this is concerned he is no support at all, he spends more time angry at me because I am not doing as much as he feels I should, we are surpose to stay strong with this since it is only for a short period of time but I wish, actually I don't know know what I wish, I just know that I am really hating this

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Old 01-31-2011, 05:47 AM   #2
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Re: 6 months in and 6 months to go -- hating it

In reading your other posts, it doesn't sound like your bf has ever been supportive of you while you're going through this, he just complains a lot and expects you to be fine. I don't know a lot about your illness but from the way you described it in your other posts, it sounds really awful. Do you have any friends or family from whom you could get support? Because it doesn't sound like your bf will ever come around. He sounds like a selfish hypocrite. Is he still not working? And yet he expects you to work full time when you're sick and going through treatment? The guy is a bum and a jerk. My suggestion to you is that you continue seeking out online support if you don't have any friends or family to lean on, and concentrate on getting through your treatment. As soon as you feel well enough, you need to get out of this relationship. Any time you have any kind of illness, it's important to minimize stress as much as possible. You can't do that with him because he causes nothing but stress in your life. I would highly suggest you start figuring out how to leave him because I'm 100% sure that he will never come around and he will always be this way about your illness. I'm not sure how you ended up with him but it's time to get away from him because your health is more important than him.

Old 02-07-2011, 08:56 AM   #3
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Re: 6 months in and 6 months to go -- hating it

Thank you very much, what makes this this sound even worse is that I actually get on this site when I feel I really can't take this any more. I do have great family and friends but even though they are very supportive, I hate complainting about hurting sooo much, I feel like a whiner, all my family and friends have always loved how strong I was and how I could handle things, but now I feel like am just a basket case. So my venting system is this place, and crying to strangers who don't know me, but have been very very supportive. So thank you very much, if you can't tell today so far is not to bad, but give me a few hours of moving around again, and I will fall again, lol!! You have a great day

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