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    Old 02-28-2011, 07:43 AM   #1
    Ashh
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    Heartbreakers perspective

    Since I've got my heartbroken I know what it feels like. I've just been so curious as to how the "heartbreaker" feels. My ex left me because he felt it was the right thing to do. I just wonder how he can look himself in the mirror everyday knowing he hurt the girl he loved. I just want to know how they feel what they go through do they feel remorseful . If you have ever been a heartbreaker your story would be useful thanks.

     
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    Old 02-28-2011, 08:00 AM   #2
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    Well, I know this isn't what you asked, and probably not what you want to hear, but when I got my heart broken, I literally spent years wondering that same question, "how could he??" But for me personally, it was just a way of hanging onto him and the relationship that is a long ago distant memory for him. Asking that question is nothing more than picking off the scab. And I don't think there's really a good answer to that question that makes it hurt any less. Stop asking it and start working on moving on. Good luck.

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 08:16 AM   #3
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ashh View Post
    Since I've got my heartbroken I know what it feels like. I've just been so curious as to how the "heartbreaker" feels. My ex left me because he felt it was the right thing to do. I just wonder how he can look himself in the mirror everyday knowing he hurt the girl he loved. I just want to know how they feel what they go through do they feel remorseful . If you have ever been a heartbreaker your story would be useful thanks.
    another answer thats probably not what you want to hear, but do you really think he should stay in a relationship when he feels like ending it is the right thing to do? He can probably look himself in the mirror everyday knowing that he was true to himself. If we stay with someone just so we don't hurt them, we do a dis-service to ourself. Almost everyone has had their heart broken at some point, and probably all of us have broken someone elses heart at some point. That's life.....we all survived, you will too.....

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 09:08 AM   #4
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    And perhaps the question you're really asking is not so much "how could he leave me" but rather "why didn't he love me enough to stay and work things out, and why did he say he loved me if he didn't?" Those are the ones that really hurt. It's just painful and it just hurts a lot. Love just doesn't always work out the way we'd like it to. It makes you feel used, it makes you feel like you were played for a fool, all that stuff, and it's so hard not to take it personally. But all you can do is accept it, take responsibility for the part you played in it, learn whatever lessons there are to learn from it, and move on, stronger and wiser. I wish you good luck.

    Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 02-28-2011 at 09:10 AM.

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 09:35 AM   #5
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    In my opinion the heartbreaker just feels relief to get away. They just want out and it has probably taken them a long time to get up the nerve and the fortitude to end it knowing that it was goinig to break your heart. They've probably went though a lot of "what ifs" like what if I regret this and what if I never find anyone again and end up alone.

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 10:08 AM   #6
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by trystme View Post
    In my opinion the heartbreaker just feels relief to get away. They just want out and it has probably taken them a long time to get up the nerve and the fortitude to end it knowing that it was goinig to break your heart. They've probably went though a lot of "what ifs" like what if I regret this and what if I never find anyone again and end up alone.
    I'm going to have to agree with trystme, here. I've broken up with a few people in the past and it took me a long, long time to think about why I was doing it. In my first break up, it was with someone I had dated for almost 5 years, he had cheated on me in the past, I told him I was willing to let it go because he was so physically sick that he did it, but I was never the same. I was unhappy and I made it very known for the last year and a half that we were together that I wasn't going to forget it. So, after 4 months of really sitting down and thinking about it, I dropped the bomb. It hurt, because it really was someone I came to love, but the relationship we had then wasn't good for either of us. Obviously, it hurt me to see him so upset, but I knew we both deserved much better.

    I don't know if this gives you any perspective in your situation, which I'm sorry you have to go through, but keep in mind that he probably had a reason behind hurting you, knowing that maybe you deserved more than he could give you.

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 01:40 PM   #7
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    Hi ,i think everyone at some point has either been heartbroken or been the heartbreaker .
    i have been both, and i can tell u when u are the heartbreaker u simply dont have any idea how the other person is feeling, because its not you, and you are the one finishing the relationship, and the reason u normally leave or end a relationship is because u dont have feelings for that person anymore .
    Its horrible to think of it that way but its true the heartbreaker wont be sitting up all nite thinking of how u are feeling because if they did they would call to see how you are .
    But on the plus side things will soon get better for u and u will meet someone else and u will feel like omg i cant believe how upset iwas over that person but i know how u feeling at the moment it seems like all you can think off is them and u dont wantanyone else .trust me men can be replaced u will be ok i know it chin up .xxx

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 04:56 PM   #8
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    I would imagine that different people feel different things. Some would feel bad or guilty, while others would feel nothing at all or relieved. It all depends on the person.

    Look on the bright side, he did you a favour. Would you really want him to stay with you when it wasn't what he wanted/needed until the relationship got really bad for both of you?

     
    Old 02-28-2011, 10:09 PM   #9
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    there is so many reasons why people break hearts and what they truly feel about doing it. some dont think or feel anything. some feel guilty. some feel relief that they have ended it. some think they did the right thing. some realise that the person they are breaking up with deserve better. some people move away. the only person who seriously knows why they done it and how they feel about it , is the heartbreaker. unless they tell you , you can guess forever but you'll never truly know. my ex boyfriend was cheating on me and we wasnt happy in the relationship anymore neither of us and he tried to leave several times and i burst into tears and then he stayed out of guilt then one day he said to me ''its truly over now you'll thank me one day''....obviously at this point he ran off with someone he was cheated on me with and in the end i truly am thankful to him for leaving as looking back it was the best thing ever. i have a great boyfriend now still have issues (my issues -trust issues but in therapy for it)....think he left because he knew it wasnt right to stay and keep cheating, plus he wanted to be with this other woman who he later admitted to me he was using her and it didnt work out for them. obviously i felt i had the last laugh lol.

    so....just think of the future. we only live once so make the most of it and go be happy. x

    Last edited by cryingforever; 02-28-2011 at 10:10 PM.

     
    Old 03-01-2011, 06:54 AM   #10
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    ont thing I want to point out.....your heart is your responsibility.....
    if it gets broke, it's because you allowed it to happen......
    you can't blame someone else

     
    Old 03-01-2011, 07:34 AM   #11
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    Have you never broken up with someone before? Are you supposed to just stay with someone because they are hung up on you but yet you don't share those same feelings? It doesn't make you a heartbreaker just because you've broken up with someone. I'm sure that there are a few people that just get their kicks out of making someone fall in love and then walking out but I'm sure that's just some sort of a disorder anyway and isn't the norm.
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    Old 03-01-2011, 08:22 AM   #12
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    As hard as it is to hear, he most likely just wasn't feeling it anymore, so that's why he broke it off. That's why it's so easy for him to move on, because he was already mentally checked out of the relationship. It's unfortunate for you, because you still love the guy, but for him I'm sure it's a big relief because it was probably weighing on him for a while. For the most part, it's never easy to break up with someone, because for the most part, people don't necessarily like to hurt other people. But if the relationship has run its course, from one person's perspective, then there's nothing the other person can do. If he doesn't feel it anymore, he doesn't. Him staying with you just because you are still feeling it isn't fair to him and his feelings.

    As hard as it is to know this, I'm sure he is probably glad to have the breakup part behind him so he can concentrate on moving forward. That's what you need to do, too because crying over him and wanting him back won't bring him back. This kind of thing happens often. You're not the first person to have this happen to them. But all of us who have been through it have gotten through it. You're going to be fine, but you have to stop thinking this guy was so special that he deserves all of your time and effort even though he is gone. It's time to stop hoping he will come back and start looking for new opportunities. They are everywhere but right now you're ignoring it all because you're focusing all of your energy on that closed door.

     
    Old 03-01-2011, 03:03 PM   #13
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    Re: Heartbreakers perspective

    i wouldnt say its yr fault u ,u got broken hearted u dont think that will happen otherwise knowone would ever bother to go out with anyone would they ? x

     
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