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  • So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

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    Old 08-31-2011, 11:49 AM   #16
    rosequartz
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    why not try a dating service?
    people on a dating site ARE looking for someone....
    you don't know that about random girls you see at the supermarket, they could be married, engaged, have a boyfriend, not looking, etc.

     
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    Old 08-31-2011, 11:57 AM   #17
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    why not try a dating service?
    people on a dating site ARE looking for someone....
    you don't know that about random girls you see at the supermarket, they could be married, engaged, have a boyfriend, not looking, etc.
    Tried it for about a year and no luck. If anything it wasted my time and effort more than anything. Figures....thats what happens when im cursed and have all the gods against me. Seriously, i truly believe i will never find someone, i will never get married, i will never have kids and i will die single. I will die alone.

    Ok i seriously need to excuse myself for a bit, just typing this up and running these words through my head is really starting to make me cry.

    Last edited by Brkenhrt; 08-31-2011 at 11:59 AM.

     
    Old 08-31-2011, 12:10 PM   #18
    rosequartz
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    no you're not cursed, there are no gods against you.....
    and you're not gonna die alone.....
    there are all kinds of ways to meet people.....
    take a class, volunteer at a local animal shelter, take up a hobby
    maybe stop looking, you usually find something when you're not looking for it.

     
    Old 08-31-2011, 10:14 PM   #19
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    all you do is make excuses and talk about things you DON'T do. You need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You say you don't drink, don't go to bars or clubs, don't go to coffee shops, don't go to the library. Well, WHY NOT? Why can't you go to a bar and have one little drink, anything, and just be social? Don't like coffee--get tea. Don't like to read books? Try it, or read a magazine or use the computer. Find hobbies that involve people. Think of something you like to do or want to try. Join a local chorus, or soccer team, or take a cooking class, things like that. Instead of resenting your sisters and other family for being married, when they bring it up, tell them you're looking for that special someone but haven't found her--and tell them that if they know anyone who might be interested, you'd be up for being set up. You can't isolate yourself in a private, comfortable little world and expect someone to come along. You have to work for it and open yourself up for it. And, be realistic. I don't know if you really did date "models", but if you only have eyes for girls who look that good, you're probably going to strike out. Lol if you only tend to go for women who are "model" gorgeous, no wonder you pee your pants every time you try and talk to one. :-p

     
    Old 09-01-2011, 07:35 AM   #20
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Brkenhrt View Post
    Tried it for about a year and no luck. If anything it wasted my time and effort more than anything. Figures....thats what happens when im cursed and have all the gods against me. Seriously, i truly believe i will never find someone, i will never get married, i will never have kids and i will die single. I will die alone.

    Ok i seriously need to excuse myself for a bit, just typing this up and running these words through my head is really starting to make me cry.
    I think you need to give online dating another shot. A year really isn't that long. I did it for 10 years. You have to have a positive attitude. If you believe in your heart that it isn't going to happen, it will show in your attitude, your posture, your tone of voice, everything about you will say "I'm wasting my time, I know you won't like me." And that's not very attractive. If you don't think you're worthy of being liked, why should anyone else dispute it? You've got to go in head up, eyes bright, knowing you bring something good to the table. Give it a real go before you give up. And if you don't have any hobbies, GET some. You can't share your life with someone until you have a life to share.

     
    Old 09-01-2011, 11:24 AM   #21
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by redsoxgirl2418 View Post
    all you do is make excuses and talk about things you DON'T do. You need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You say you don't drink, don't go to bars or clubs, don't go to coffee shops, don't go to the library. Well, WHY NOT? Why can't you go to a bar and have one little drink, anything, and just be social? Don't like coffee--get tea. Don't like to read books? Try it, or read a magazine or use the computer. Find hobbies that involve people. Think of something you like to do or want to try. Join a local chorus, or soccer team, or take a cooking class, things like that. Instead of resenting your sisters and other family for being married, when they bring it up, tell them you're looking for that special someone but haven't found her--and tell them that if they know anyone who might be interested, you'd be up for being set up. You can't isolate yourself in a private, comfortable little world and expect someone to come along. You have to work for it and open yourself up for it. And, be realistic. I don't know if you really did date "models", but if you only have eyes for girls who look that good, you're probably going to strike out. Lol if you only tend to go for women who are "model" gorgeous, no wonder you pee your pants every time you try and talk to one. :-p

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by redsoxgirl2418 View Post
    all you do is make excuses and talk about things you DON'T do. You need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You say you don't drink, don't go to bars or clubs, don't go to coffee shops, don't go to the library. Well, WHY NOT? Why can't you go to a bar and have one little drink, anything, and just be social? Don't like coffee--get tea. Don't like to read books? Try it, or read a magazine or use the computer. Find hobbies that involve people. Think of something you like to do or want to try. Join a local chorus, or soccer team, or take a cooking class, things like that. Instead of resenting your sisters and other family for being married, when they bring it up, tell them you're looking for that special someone but haven't found her--and tell them that if they know anyone who might be interested, you'd be up for being set up. You can't isolate yourself in a private, comfortable little world and expect someone to come along. You have to work for it and open yourself up for it. And, be realistic. I don't know if you really did date "models", but if you only have eyes for girls who look that good, you're probably going to strike out. Lol if you only tend to go for women who are "model" gorgeous, no wonder you pee your pants every time you try and talk to one. :-p
    Sorry its not intentional in making excuses.
    Well the thing is im a loner, and a lot of the stuff you listed I did, in the past but eventually it got really old and lonely doing this all solo. I used to go to shopping alone, I would go to the movies alone, I would go to dinner alone, heck I even went to a concert alone! But after awhile it took a serious toll on me mentally and thatís when my social life pretty much went out the window. In the past 5 years, ive maybe gone out twice on a weekend night (something actually social). The only times I go out (aside from work) is to run errands or get lunch,dinner.

     
    Old 09-01-2011, 11:38 AM   #22
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    Perhaps you can try to join some activities? Some groups or churches or exercise classes... Do things with other people. Some exercise classes do have social activities as some members like to socialize a little bit.
    Joining a group helps you to reconnect to people around you. If you connect with people first and then gradually you may get a chance teo find someone.
    You can even try a dance class in the recreation center.

    Good luck,
    Nina

     
    Old 09-01-2011, 02:32 PM   #23
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    ive looked into clubs but from what ive found, just about all cost a lot of money for membership. I was wanting to join one last year and they wanted several hundreds of dollars. Where i live, its really lacking for extra ciricular clubs and events.

    Last edited by Administrator; 09-01-2011 at 09:00 PM. Reason: please do not post a commercial website

     
    Old 09-01-2011, 07:34 PM   #24
    Brkenhrt
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    Re: So much pressure on me finding a girlfriend

    Im on celexa for my anxiety as i have an anxiety disorder. Ive been on it for years and it works.

    Yes i suffer from on and off chronic depression, sometimes i could go a year without any depression then go the next 10months severely depressed. Im just not a very happy person right now. My life is just meh, Im not enjoying life anymore. I just dont get excited for anything anymore. Ive changed for the worst ever since i graduated from college. Im just not the same person i once was. The one who was always happy, smiling, laughing, cracking jokes, so positive, so energetic. People use to love being around me. Right now im just a dead horse who is always so negative and grumpy inside.

    Last edited by Administrator; 09-01-2011 at 09:01 PM.

     
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