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  • Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

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    Old 09-07-2011, 07:15 AM   #1
    Jim J
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    Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose Nude

    We are a younger couple (30 & 28). We are having a conflict over an incident from a couple of weeks back. My wife has been taking pencil drawing classes at a private art studio that is owned by a family friend. They occasionally have live models, at least one of which has been a nude male model. She tells me everything about the sessions. At a recent session, they were scheduled to have a female model who would pose nude. This model apparently didn't show for whatever reason and according to what my wife said, there was a discussion about one of the students in the class volunteering to fill in. The ladies talked about it and my wife finally decided to volunteer. She said she went behind a portable partition at the corner of the room, took off every bit of her clothing, and put on a long robe that was there. She then walked out, took the robe off and sat down on a barstool that was provided. Here she sat totally naked in front of about 6 women and 4 men for an hour and a half. I'm disturbed that she did this, sitting there with them seeing absolutely everything she has - front, back, everything! Am I out of line to object to her doing this without even saying a word to me until after the fact? How would guys that read this board feel about their wife/girlfriend doing this? Every time I see her step out of the shower I think about how many men saw her that evening the exact same way. Also, there are several friends (not involved in the class) who know she posed nude. Should I just let it go? Is there anything inappropriate about her doing this? Some opinions, please.

    Last edited by Jim J; 09-07-2011 at 10:17 AM.

     
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    Old 09-07-2011, 07:23 AM   #2
    JumperOK
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    I think you're over-reacting to this. It's not like your wife posed for some adult magazine. It was art class. Did you get mad at her for drawing a nude guy without asking you first? Because it didn't seem like you had any problem with your wife staring at another guy's junk for 4 hours while she sketched it out.

    I think you should just let it go. It sounds like it was tastefully done in front of grown adults who viewed your wife as nothing more than just an art project.

     
    Old 09-07-2011, 07:25 AM   #3
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    i think you should stop getting yourself worked up over this, and consider yourself very lucky that you have a wife who has that much confidence in herself that she was able to pose nude......

     
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    Old 09-07-2011, 08:02 AM   #4
    Curious One
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    i think you should stop getting yourself worked up over this, and consider yourself very lucky that you have a wife who has that much confidence in herself that she was able to pose nude......
    Very good point! Cause you sure wouldn't catch me volunteering for that!!!

    I want to add that I can empathize with your discomfort about it, Jim. I think it would be a hard pill for many partners to swallow.

    And, I will echo what others have said. Despite that it pinched, I think you'll help yourself by remembering it was art, a class, mature adults, etc.

    Last edited by Curious One; 09-07-2011 at 08:02 AM.

     
    Old 09-07-2011, 08:09 AM   #5
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    If my partner was going to be nude anywhere in the world, that would be the safest setting I could imagine. Although the men (who knows, some of the women too!) may have oogled her a bit, the lesson was to draw and I bet that's just what they did. Also, it's not like she was on the floor spread eagle showing everything under the sun. Other than her breasts, most of a women's private area is either covered with hair on underneath her body, kind of covered. So, it's not all that bad all things considered.

     
    Old 09-07-2011, 08:33 AM   #6
    Jim J
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    Hi, Whoopie, thanks for replying. I didn't write too "graphically", I hope but you hit the nail right on the head. Obviously, they all did see her breasts, bare behind, and as you noted, her hair "down there". They know just as well as I do what every bit of her looks like naked. I guess that's what bothers me. I'm not concerned about her going home with one of the men afterwards. But, I think you see what I'm saying.

     
    Old 09-07-2011, 08:42 AM   #7
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    You'll just have to take comfort in the fact that you know her carnally and none of them ever will, end of discussion!

     
    Old 09-08-2011, 07:58 AM   #8
    Jim J
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    Curious One: Thanks for your support. I like the fact that you're a little older than me and can relate to my thoughts. I know you said the students are all mature adults. I'm sure you're right, but it's still a funny feeling to know she sat there with no clothes on in front of so many people, especially men. One guy is mid-60's, she said so I'm sure he enjoyed seeing a naked 28 year old woman for an extended time. Just thinking of them viewing every detail of her nude - front, back, everything - not easy.

     
    Old 09-08-2011, 08:09 AM   #9
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    It's already done and over, so stressing about it at this point is kind of a pointless exercise. It's not like you can go back in time and change it. The only thing you can do at this point is let her know it makes you uncomfortable, tell her that in the future it would be better if she would discuss it with you first before doing something like that, and then move on. If you dwell on this, that's not going to help anybody.

     
    Old 09-08-2011, 08:26 AM   #10
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    Sounds like this is a matter of compatibility, different "rules for life" if you will. You can let her know that you're uncomfortable with it and in the future, you'd prefer she not do it again, but that's about all you can do. The rest is up to her as to whether it's something she will do again or whether she will take your feelings into consideration and not do it again out of respect for you. But it's done, and unless you're prepared to divorce her over this, the only thing you can do is make your feelings known for future reference, see if she will respect them, and let it go.

     
    Old 09-08-2011, 12:46 PM   #11
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    So, Jim, after the art class, and I'm sure some discussions with your wife, and after getting the feedback here, how are you doing with it? Have you and your wife discussed it more?

    I could be wrong, but I get the sense that, even though you didn't like it, that you are a calm person, that you did not blow up at her, and that you'll be able to move forward with your life and marriage.

     
    Old 09-08-2011, 02:01 PM   #12
    Jim J
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    Well, Curious One, it has been mentioned a couple of times and you're right, there's no point in blowing up at any time. I may be calm on the outside but it really did make me jealous of other men seeing her naked, no doubt. I re-live it every time I see her in the shower, though. I guess it will pass and I do think it was bad timing - she wasn't thinking of showing herself to everyone, the scheduled model just didn't make it. She just thought of it as part of the class. I guess we all grow up with different experiences and attitudes toward nudity. Do you have any thoughts on that? Thanks for your input.

     
    Old 09-08-2011, 06:33 PM   #13
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    Re: Problem: Wife Volunteered to Pose

    Hi Jim,

    I don't look at it as nudity in a sexual way but in an artistic way. I'm a female and have nude sculptures. I look at them as art...

    Also, your wife didn't have to tell you anything but she trusted you enough to tell you that she posed to help out the class....

    There is a huge difference between sexual nudity and art nudity....

    Sunny

     
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