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  • Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

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    Old 12-07-2011, 03:02 AM   #1
    pfarrell1867
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    Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

    My wife of 18 years recently asked me to move out whilst she decided if she still wanted to be with me or not. I have lied about things to do with money and paying bills in the past and this recently backfired when she had an attachement of earnings to clear something i should have dealt with.

    After being away a couple of days I went back home and things seemed ok, but then i started to develop really jealous feelings and paranoia. There is a guy who she knows who she was going to do some book keeping for and when this was originally discussed I was going to help. Then she was adamant she was doing it on her own. This co-incided with her wearing stockings for the first time in years, new really high shoes and wearing false tan.

    i also found calls and a text to this guy the text saying " hope you feel better, wish I could be there to take care of you xx"

    When I confronted her about this she said he is just a friend and she felt sorry for him because he is on his own and the kisses were just how she would normally finish a text. I have told her I will forgive her if anything has been going on but she insists it is purely a friendship.

    her works christmas party is tomorrow and whilst she is being nice to me there is a difference in her at least I think there is? She seems to kiss differently,and other things seem different when I mention this she says i am micro analysing everything she does and shes probably right.

    I am worried to death that tomorrow night she may be in a room somewhere with this guy.

    She insists that if she was interested in someone else she wouldnt be anywhere near me.

    In my heart of hearts I believe her, I just have this nagging doubt at the back of my mind.

    To compound all this she thought I had slept with someone a few years ago - I hadnt, however she has discussed this with a new work colleague who she has hit it off with and the consensus was that I had. This colleague has been having an affair for 2 years and i feel she could be encouraging my wife to the same.

    Sorry to go on so long but desperately need to find a way of dealing with this before my marriage is over.

    Thanks

     
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    Old 12-07-2011, 03:57 AM   #2
    pendulum
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    Re: Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

    That she asked you to leave the house so she could make up her mind whether she still wants you or not sounds very... weird, to say the least.

    Did you really have to move out? Why didn't you guys work out things at home? Or why didn't she leave then, since she was the one making the decision?

    What was her decision after all? What did she tell you as you came back home?

    Last edited by pendulum; 12-07-2011 at 03:58 AM.

     
    Old 12-07-2011, 04:05 AM   #3
    pfarrell1867
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    Re: Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

    The house we live in is rented from her boss. She has threatened to make me leave before but this time I could tell she meant it.

    When I came back she said we would see how it went, she still wasnt sure. That night we made love and that was something really special very special feeling. its that that if anything gives me hope that I dont think she could be like that with me and be with someone else

     
    Old 12-07-2011, 04:25 AM   #4
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    Re: Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by pfarrell1867 View Post
    The house we live in is rented from her boss. She has threatened to make me leave before but this time I could tell she meant it.

    When I came back she said we would see how it went, she still wasnt sure. That night we made love and that was something really special very special feeling. its that that if anything gives me hope that I dont think she could be like that with me and be with someone else
    Well, I may be wrong, but she sounds a bit bossy.

    Ok, if you don't want to measure your strength against hers, all that is left for you to do is play her game and see how it goes.

     
    Old 12-07-2011, 04:42 AM   #5
    Kszan
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    Re: Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

    It sounds like you have a history of problems with her if she has told you to leave before. What's going on in your marriage that she keeps asking you to leave? Besides this money situation, what else have you done in the past to her to make her want you to leave?

    It sounds like there are ongoing issues in this marriage that are not being dealt with and just being swept under the rug. I think if you truly want to save your marriage you need to have an open discussion about all that has happened, where you're at now, and what both of your plans are for the future. This is definitely a situation where marriage counseling would be a really good idea.

     
    Old 12-07-2011, 04:55 AM   #6
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    Re: Jealousy / Paranoia driving me mad

    Thanks for the advice

     
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