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tricia7796 01-28-2012 05:48 AM

My boyfriend always hangs up on me
I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and we do love eachother. We live 2 and a half hours apart and we do see each other often and talk on the phone daily. The problem is, is that anytime we get into a disagreement or argument he hangs up on me. I call him back or he will call me back after we give eachother time. He admits that he does not know how to communicate. He has no patience and has anger problems. I told him that our relationship would be better if he stopped this immature bullcrap. Its not always his fault that an argument or disagreement starts, I know I'm at fault at times, but he takes it to another level when he hangs up on me. I dont cus him out or call him any names. Its could be a simple disagreement or argument, and he hangs up on me. I have talked to him about this numerous times and he still does this. I have gotten to the point now that when he hangs up, I don't call back, he will call me. I feel that if I call him back I'm allowing this behavior and giving him the okay to continue and disrespect me. I don't know what to do anymore, this hanging up on me thing has now caused me to feel insecure about the future of our relationship and Im having alot of anxiety. He is 9 years older than me and I thought that older men were more mature. Any advise would help!!!!Thanks.

pendulum 01-28-2012 07:53 AM

Re: My boyfriend always hangs up on me
I know that this won't solve the problem, but you should avoid arguing over the phone at all. If you have to do it, do it in person. What is his usual response when you are arguing face to face? I know his reaction is far from mature, as you put it, but at least he is not answering back or calling you names, which could be a lot worse. Rather than arguing, you should try to sit down and talk things out. It is important for both of you to listen to the other party and to avoid accusations. I think there is an etiquette even for arguing. I guess you can find it in books. It is clear that your boyfriend needs to be educated in this area, but don't get me wrong, you too would profit from learning a few tricks, as would any of us.

Seraph 01-28-2012 08:43 AM

Re: My boyfriend always hangs up on me
Save the contentious topics for face-to-face conversations. Keep the phone calls for news and chat. For serious conversations, you are missing out on half of the communication, like facial expression, body language, etc. it is almost impossible to deal with serious issues over the phone. I agree that hanging up is a bit immature, but it is just one of many avoidance tactics that are possible when not physically present. Cheers, Sera

EZ Mac 01-30-2012 10:54 AM

Re: My boyfriend always hangs up on me
I am reading along and hoping to identify a solution for a similar type of problem that I have. My gf does the same thing, and she is 8 years younger.

I would not advise to do the same thing back to them, as that only causes further arguing or fighting.

Like the others say, do not enable it. But the sad part is that if one person WANTS to argue, and WANTS to find a way to hang up, and keep you wondering, they will do it. I feel for you, especially for the distance of the relationship. But even THAT should be considered a blessing, trust me...

rosequartz 01-30-2012 01:12 PM

Re: My boyfriend always hangs up on me
it's a control thing
he's controlling the situation by hanging up, he decides when to hang up, when he feels like he's lost control (when he's losing the argument, when he's in the wrong)
this is a red flag for the type of person he is......"control freak"......if you stick around long enough, it will appear in other areas......I advise you not to stick around for it. You seem much too smart for this bull crap

Kszan 01-30-2012 01:20 PM

Re: My boyfriend always hangs up on me
Tricia, he sounds like an immature guy who never developed any communication skills. I'd ditch this guy before you start think you're the problem, which it looks like you may have already started to do but you need to cut it out. He can't handle arguments maturely, therefore he is terrible boyfriend material. Therefore, dump him.

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