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  • Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

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    Old 02-04-2012, 09:49 AM   #1
    Pjscp
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    Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and for the whole time she rarely initiates sex. We love each other and have great fun together but I'm always the one to initiate it.

    We don't have a lot of sex, we live apart and I work stupid hours but I always make time for her and spend my hard earned money on both of us. We live together for 1.5 years and decided to go back to parents to save up a house deposit, but the situation was the same!

    I seem to be more highly sexed than her, but that's not the problem... I won't expect her to keep up with my "needs" but it because I'm the one initiating sex, and her not really bothered about it it feels like I'm constantly pestering her and it's very frustrating.

    I'm not at all insecure, perfectly masculine with all the neurosis that goes along with being male! but i feel like she is not interested in having sex with me, and it's always been this way. Surely this isn't the way a 25 yr old couple should be??

    When we talk about it she just says she doesn't know what's wrong, or she's just tired.

     
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    Old 02-10-2012, 01:18 AM   #2
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    I was this way with my (ex boyfriend now) for four years. He'd initiate every single time, I think once in my life I have but that was when we broke up then got back together a few months ago (we're completely done now, lying *******) but I found out that when we reunited I wanted sex all the time! I was crazy horny for him unlike the past 4 years. Maybe she just doent initiate and there's nothing wrong with that, but maybe she should go out of her comfort zone sometimes to reassure you she loves you and likes being intimate. Maybe she just isn't very sexual?I've found that when I was really happy with my guy (well I guess I thought I was) that that's all I wanted to do with him was "make love"

     
    Old 02-10-2012, 07:35 AM   #3
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    This sounds so much like my relationship. I am 26, boyfriend 25 and we have been together 5 years. I never want sex as much as my boyfriend. The reason is because he doesn't turn me on sexually. He is too rough and is out to please himself more than me. I have told him what I like , but he still won't do it. See if this could be a reason. My boyfriend thinks porno is what girls want. That is far from it. Girls want sensuality as well as sexiness. Hope this helps

     
    Old 02-11-2012, 04:13 PM   #4
    John5500
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    Hey, Pjscp, your situation reminds me a lot of when I moved in with my last long-term girlfriend. The sex dried up almost overnight. Ultimately, after she split up with me, she told me she never really fancied me but loved me for other reasons. I guess when we moved in together there was a dawning realisation that things were never going to work out.

    I don't want to be too negative, but do you think there's a possibility that your girlfriend has lost her physical attraction to you? The tiredness excuse sounds like she's not confronting the truth.

    Last edited by John5500; 02-11-2012 at 04:14 PM.

     
    Old 02-14-2012, 11:28 AM   #5
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    wow Wej, seems like we are simialr too. So what converstaion did you ahve with your bf regarding wanting him to change. I have told mine over and over again that i dont like certain things, but it always come back to that. I find him way too agressive and rough and he never seems to back down.

     
    Old 02-15-2012, 05:17 AM   #6
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Pjscp View Post
    I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and for the whole time she rarely initiates sex. We love each other and have great fun together but I'm always the one to initiate it.

    We don't have a lot of sex, we live apart and I work stupid hours but I always make time for her and spend my hard earned money on both of us. We live together for 1.5 years and decided to go back to parents to save up a house deposit, but the situation was the same!

    I seem to be more highly sexed than her, but that's not the problem... I won't expect her to keep up with my "needs" but it because I'm the one initiating sex, and her not really bothered about it it feels like I'm constantly pestering her and it's very frustrating.

    I'm not at all insecure, perfectly masculine with all the neurosis that goes along with being male! but i feel like she is not interested in having sex with me, and it's always been this way. Surely this isn't the way a 25 yr old couple should be??

    When we talk about it she just says she doesn't know what's wrong, or she's just tired.
    This may sound silly, but I guess you could try to put it into practice.

    Hard as it may seem, stop having sex with her, stop asking her for sex.
    Focus on romantic things, on being friends, but stop all the sex.

    If she doesn't react at all, I would say that is the way she is, apparently with very little interest in sex, and you are probably incompatible sexually speaking.

    Another line of thought: could the refusal for sex be a subtle way to demand you to marry her at last?

     
    Old 02-15-2012, 05:26 AM   #7
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    May be you should sit her down and ask her why she is less interested in sex. If her reasons are fine, then be understanding

     
    Old 02-15-2012, 06:43 AM   #8
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    Re: Girlfriend doesn't seem to want sex

    I've found that my boyfriends were always too quick to ask/initiate sex, they never gave me the time or opportunity to let me make the first move. Give it some time, let her come to you, build up some tension.

     
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