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  • Obsessed with ex I don't even like

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    Old 02-18-2012, 09:50 AM   #1
    Blueboo
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    Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    Hi all

    Need a little advice. I split with my boyfriend 6 months ago. I didn't realise when we were together but I had stopped loving him. I am SO GLAD I don't have him in my life anymore, I don't even like him as a person so we couldn't be friends. I am happy with my life and don't miss him or regret a single thing.

    So WHY do I think about him all the time? He has a new girlfriend and I don't care, I am not jealous in any way. I'm always thinking about how much I don't like him, how glad I am he's gone. How much my life has changed and I couldn't do the things I do now if he were here. I seem to always be re-living the past and then appreciating I'm not with him any more. I don't get it, why can't I just forget about him if I don't even like him? (I'm not angry at him by the way, I don't hate him). Any advice is appreciated.

    And please don't say I'm still in love or anything, because that couldn't be farther from the truth!

     
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    Old 02-18-2012, 07:34 PM   #2
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    you must be bored....find something more productive or fun to do with your time!

     
    Old 02-19-2012, 05:23 AM   #3
    pendulum
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    I don't know for how long you guys dated, so maybe six months is just a period of time too short for him to be totally out of your mind.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you are still in love with him, but maybe at the back of your mind you still think that it could have work out if he had been or behaved like a different person.

    Maybe that is why you still think of him, especially if you had plans with him or something for the future.

    I agree with Rose, though. You need to busy yourself with other people or projects. By doing so, the healing and the real closure will come faster...

     
    Old 02-19-2012, 05:40 AM   #4
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    Thanks for the input, guys.

    We lived together for 6 years. But the thing is, I didn't want it to work out even if he was different. I am SO happy to be single and love every second of my new life. We didn't have any plans because he was miserable and bad tempered, so everything I wanted to do I couldn't whilst I was with him. In the back of my mind I knew we couldn't be together forever because we are so different.

    I am chaotically busy studying for a degree in biology (which he wouldn't allow me to do!), so you see, it doesn't make any sense does it? haha.

     
    Old 02-19-2012, 06:31 AM   #5
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Blueboo View Post
    Thanks for the input, guys.

    We lived together for 6 years. But the thing is, I didn't want it to work out even if he was different. I am SO happy to be single and love every second of my new life. We didn't have any plans because he was miserable and bad tempered, so everything I wanted to do I couldn't whilst I was with him. In the back of my mind I knew we couldn't be together forever because we are so different.

    I am chaotically busy studying for a degree in biology (which he wouldn't allow me to do!), so you see, it doesn't make any sense does it? haha.
    haha, I couldn't help laughing together.

    Ok, give yourself time. It will pass.

     
    Old 02-19-2012, 08:23 AM   #6
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by pendulum View Post
    Ok, give yourself time. It will pass.
    You were in a six year relationship, that is a long time! You're not going to forget him or stop thinking about him in six months. As Pendulum says, give it some more time. It's simply not possible to adjust to a new life that quickly after a long term relationship.

    Just be thankful you're out of the relationship and are happy!

     
    Old 02-19-2012, 08:34 AM   #7
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    Alright thank you. I was just worried I was some weird obsessed ex or something lol. I'll not worry about it then

     
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    Old 02-19-2012, 09:26 AM   #8
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    You might be a bit post-traumatic, especially if things got very bad in the relationship.

    I was in a long-term relationship (5+ years) and there were times when it was very, very bad. I too find myself sometimes being grateful I'm not with him anymore. People insist on telling me things he and his girlfriend do that are stupid or pointless and all I can do is be happy it's not me anymore. But I am definitely recovering from the trauma of being in that relationship. This single time I have has been so healing because I feel no pain, no regret, no wishing we were still together, and I am getting to the point where I feel ready to date again. But it took me a good year and a half before I started feeling sane again!

    You're fine. Enjoy doing all the things you want to do. If you do look back, it will probably only be to think "thank God I'm not with him anymore!"

     
    Old 02-19-2012, 05:45 PM   #9
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    I agree, give yourself time. He was a big part of your life for 6 years, you just can't close the door on him and think he won't ever be in your mind again. It will get better, hang in there!
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    "There's a big difference in playing the victim than in causing your own personal drama." -BK

     
    Old 02-20-2012, 09:09 PM   #10
    michael00123
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    Re: Obsessed with ex I don't even like

    Most of the time if we truly loved someone and the relationship doesn't work out for us for what ever the reason may be we will always think of the person whether it is in a positive or negative thought for a long time after the break up. You are not any different from anyone else as that matter goes. I have read several post on here about relationships where people has posted they were abused in different ways, but it is funny how they just continue to harp about the same person in almost every post the make.

    Give yourself some time and just enjoy your life now. If you are truly happy keep doing the things that you are doing and eventually he will fade from your thoughts. It is clear that you still love him even though you are glad you aren't together any more. You can't be in a relationship that long and expect to not love the person in the short time you have been apart. Hang in there, in will get better!

     
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