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  • someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

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    Old 04-24-2012, 04:33 PM   #1
    Twisted Metal
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    someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    a boy i went to high school with hates me so much. i am 24 now and havent seen this kid in years. i barely knew him in high school. he has no reason to hate me. i was unpopular and bullied. i was made fun of for having horrible acne and being flat chested. i was teased daily. i never fit in and didnt have many friends.

    the low self esteem from this plus from my abusive family led me to very self destructive behaviors like being very promiscuous and take nude photos and videos of myself and give them to my boyfriends. boys never liked me much in highschool and after so i would just give it up to whoever showed attention even if it was just to get some from me. by the time i was 20 i felt so bad about myself i was dating a guy who had a daughter and was clearly cheating on me. to me he was very attractive and said all the right things i wanted to hear. for the first time in my life i felt wanted beautiful and loved. i had a lot of emotional baggage already from my family who treated me like garbage, the resturaunt i was forced to work in to survive where i was treated like garbage by my boss and coworkers ( i was humiliated and made fun of always, even in front of customers) and i had gotton out of two bad relationships, the second one raped me so when i met this guy i thought he was gonna save my life i fell in love. i let him make videos of us having sex and take lots of nude photos of me. eventually i discovered he was cheating on me and he left me for another girl. he left me with no money and nowhere to live so i was forced to work extra hard at the resturaunt where i was cheated like garbage.

    the kid i mentioned earlier who hates me for no reason made a fake screen name pretending to be a female and somehow got my ex to send him a lot of videos and photos of me having sex or naked. after he got these photos and videos he posted them on about 20 different websites titling the videos with my first and last name and city. he even made fake ******** accounts and send the photos and videos to my friends family and coworkers.

    ill never forget the day i was at work, another day in this resturaunt being treated like crap and yelled at and called names, when some regular customers came in, some rude ignorant little 15 year old boys. and they showed and told a lot of my coworkers the videos and pics of me they had found on the internet. everyone was laughing at me. calling me a lot of bad names. i made these videos and photos for my boyfriend, no one else. and now the whole world was seeing them.

    i constantly email all these websites asking to have my videos/photos taken down. at first they wouldnt remove them. i had to lie and say i was underage for them to remove them. as fast as i have them removed, they are uploaded to other websites again and again and again. and constantly he makes fake ******** accounts and sends them to my friends and family. i got the police involved and spoke to a detective but they did nothing. they told me theres nothing they can do.

    its a long story how i figured out it was this kid i knew in high school who got these pics and videos of me from my ex by pretending to be a female and then after getting them putting them on websites and sending them to everyone i know. i dont know why this kid hates me so much. i never knew him at all. he was in honor classes, i was cutting classes i had bad grades i was unpopular and called A-Cup and Crater-face ( flat chested with lots of acne and acne scars ) boys didnt like me i hardly had any friends so this kid has no reason to hate me. i can understand him hating me in high school maybe he thought i was ugly and pathetic but to still hate me now is just unbeleivable. all he has put me threw is ridiculous. everyone i know plus 1000+ strangers have seen me naked and having sex in videos. i am so ashamed. it added to the stress i have already had in my life. ive been abused, raped, made fun of, beat by men, my own mother would rather me be homeless then take me in, she never wanted me around because i didnt get along with her boyfriend. then when he burnt her house down with her, my brother, grandma, and uncle inside who all barely escaped and lost eveyrthing, she still has never apologized for putting him before me and she still treats me like dirt for no reason. a year and a half ago i found my deadbeat alcoholic father dead in his apartment. so this is all to stressfull for me i have had a tough life and i am only now starting to relize why i dont fit in and why i dont relate to anyone. because ive been threw hell and no one else has. everyone else had a family and friends i never had anyone.


    why does this kid i barely know hate me so much? why does he constantly send these photos and videos of me to my friends and family and post them on different websites? is he just so miserable with his own life that controlling and ruining mine makes him feel good about himself? how could anyone possibly hate someone so much to do this to them?

    any comments from anyone would be nice. im trying to feel better about my pathetic excuse for a life. since i cant be in therapy right now i feel like getting my thoughts out to someone will help me. i have no one to talk to, even strangers on a health website listening will make me feel better.

    Last edited by Administrator; 04-24-2012 at 05:24 PM.

     
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    Old 04-24-2012, 06:07 PM   #2
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    Hi Twisted Metal,
    I really don't know what to say - I'm so sorry you have had such a hard life.
    Allowing someone to take video/photos of you having sex wasn't the wisest choice to make - but everyone makes mistakes.

    Don't be too hard on yourself for the mistakes you have made - learn by them.

    I'm not that religious myself but maybe you could join a church group or something where you will meet some decent people and get some advice to help get your life back on track.

    Maybe you could move to a different town and start fresh ... I really don't know what to say to help you.

    Good Luck for your future.

     
    Old 04-24-2012, 06:07 PM   #3
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    Oh honey, you have to stop focusing on this guy who hates you so much! This guy obviously has a low self-esteem himself, that he needs to bully a girl he barely knows in order to feel better about himself.

    Please stop asking why he hates you. The truth is, he is an immature jerk who is going to experience karma one day, and it will be way worse than what he did to you.

    I find it so hard to believe that the police won't do anything. Can you talk to a lawyer? There has to be some kind of legal recourse. Privacy laws? What about harassment? PLEASE PLEASE contact a lawyer and talk to the police again.
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    Last edited by Belly Kelly; 04-24-2012 at 06:18 PM.

     
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    Old 04-24-2012, 06:09 PM   #4
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    I am amazed and awed at your strength; you are hanging in there coping with such major issues and surviving. To have the deck stacked against you in so many ways could be life- and soul-destroying, yet here you are, dealing with these horrendous things. You haven't given in to despair. All the things you are feeling are totally appropriate and warranted by your experience.
    Those videos and things will not go away. All you can do is move on from that, develop a thick skin about it, and shrug it off. People forget and, while it will probably pop up every now and again, you have already changed from that person. Do not feed people's cruelty by reacting.
    as to why this guy hates you, it sounds like he is a total loser who probably does this stuff to many people. Some people get turned on by causing hurt and trouble for others, and do this without any guilt or feeling for people's pain. I would bet that there are others out there who are suffering at his hands. Again, there is not much you can do unless you get positive proof that he is responsible. Even then, what he has done is not illegal - the stuff was already out there (thanks to your rotten ex). I know that you don't realize it at the moment, but you are one of life's hero survivors. You have grown and sound like a very insightful and mature person. You are amazing in so many ways, and have done it without outside help. stand up and look the world in the eye, and don't be a victim, because you are stronger and a better person than the people who treat you badly. Hugs, Sera

     
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    Old 04-25-2012, 03:53 PM   #5
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    Wow, this guy is a complete and total miserable LOOOOOOOSER!!!!! My gosh...I'm not a psychiatrist but I'm thinking he's a sociopath. Sounds to me like this is illegal as all get out! I can't believe the police wouldn't/couldn't do anything? This is a form of stalking I think! You would be best off to ignore this guy, by making a big deal out of it, you are feeding his obsession with you. Maybe he doesn't hate you at all, maybe he's completely obsessed with you.
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    Last edited by BeaTrade; 04-25-2012 at 03:54 PM.

     
    Old 04-25-2012, 04:46 PM   #6
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    It's possible he may be suffering some type of mental disorder and for whatever reason he has fixated on you. I'm so sorry this happened to you!! But as the others have said, you've made it this far, you must be doing something right. If there was any way you could possibly move to a new town and start fresh, that would be the best thing for you.

    You need to see your own value within yourself. External sources will never be honest with you. But you know deep down in your heart that you did not deserve this treatment from others and furthermore you're turning over a new leaf to start loving yourself first and foremost. If at some time down the road someone returns love to you then great but if not then that's ok too because you've got you and that's who matters most.

     
    Old 04-26-2012, 10:38 AM   #7
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    You have a lot of issues to work through. Your strength has brought you very far.

    Last edited by Mo-S4; 04-26-2012 at 08:23 PM.

     
    Old 04-27-2012, 01:37 AM   #8
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    He may be getting money for them and he could be doing this to other girls as well. Since it seems he has never had much direct contact with you, I would assume you're not the only one he's doing this to.

    From a legal standpoint, I would start cateloguing the sites these pictures appear on and if you can swing it, the IP addresses the pictures are uploaded from.

    I would also call your local police's non-emergency number and ask to have a file on the case opened. It might not provide an immediate solution, but if you have a police file open with a case number and names with evidence, you will have a better chance down the line of stopping him and getting him persecuted. It would also mean that if he ever had to under go a background check for a job, this case would come up with his name on it.

    Another thought: It's horrible that this has happened to you, along with all the other stuff, but you can also use this stuff to help others - raising awareness for how one's image can be abused and how one can go about protecting their own image.

     
    Old 04-27-2012, 05:30 PM   #9
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    Unfortunatly i can't open a police report with his name because i have no physical proof it's him. i have proof of one incident when he admitted it to me in an AIM conversation from one of his many screen names, but i have no physical proof it was him speaking to me, at least not enough proof for the police (i know because i tried), and i have no proof he is the one making lots of fake ******** accounts and sending the pics and videos to my friends and family.
    Also like i said, i doubt hes obsessed with me because i'm really not that attractive ecpecially naked which makes it even more embarressing that everyone saw these videos and photos. i am very thin and boney and i have absolutly no breasts at all. i have acne and acne scars very bad on my face, chest, back, and even my butt.even i find myself disgusting. but it does feel good to get all this out to people who are listeing. he must be a sociopath seriously. and yes i will never let another guy in my life have photos of me naked. Someday if i have children somehow i will find the words to tell them to never ever let anyone take photos of them naked and to never send photos of themselves naked to other people. Plus i see how people disrespect eachother, i have seen my brother and his friends trade photos that girls have sent them, even when these girls sent them in confidence, and you never know who will see them in someones cell phone or computer. i was very stupid to do this but yet i still can't understand why this guy does this to me, i have been threw enough in my life. unfortunatly i did stupid things like send photos to guys and let them take photos of me because i am insecure. i dont have a support system at all or anyone who understands me enough to discuss this so it is very nice feeling to have somewhat of a support system here at healthboards. It stinks to know that the reason this kid has these photos and videos i made for my ex and my ex alone, is because my ex gave them to him. This ex who promised to save me from my awful life and said all the right words i wanted to hear only to find him cheating on me and left me for another girl, a beautiful girl at that. and now he has a nice life like he always did and i am here alone as always still suffering the repercussions of what he has done. even though he is in these videos too they are mostly focused on me and when they are posted, the kid writes my first and last name and my city.
    thankyou all for listening to me and helping me feel better.

     
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    Old 05-05-2012, 10:57 AM   #10
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    Like one of my favorite artists Tupac says. "Rule 2, realize n*****'s gonna hate you for whatever you do."
    You'll always have someone who hates you just because.

    But this kid who has done this doesn't know your story, and if he did maybe he would stop. This kids an a-hole, straight up. No other way around it. He probably hates himself because anyone who has their head on straight doesn't think of doing things like that "because it's funny".

    Sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe you should find an opportunity to move somewhere else, maybe far away, start fresh. If your family doesn't care about you like you said, then try your hardest to let them go. I wouldn't want to be around people who don't a damn about me. If they don't care for you, why should you for them?

    Find yourself. Let your own happiness come from within. Maybe start over new and fresh, leave the past behind because there's nothing you can do. The kid who has these videos of you is a perv because who does that? Seriously. He doesn't even know you.

    You need to forgive yourself, and make changes. Live by what you think is right and wrong, be an example, and if you want to make something of yourself then don't do what your family has done. I'm sorry you feel alone but we're all technically alone. Maybe not all of us feel like it, but it's truth.

    You have the ability to change. There's a writer for the New York Times, David Carr I think? He went from being a junkie to having two daughters he had to raise alone. When he thinks of his younger, former self he says "that's not me, that's somebody else". Maybe you'll have that view one day too. People only affect you if you let them.

    Last edited by Jazzy18; 05-05-2012 at 11:00 AM.

     
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    Old 05-05-2012, 11:29 PM   #11
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    Re: someone i barely know hates me so much... why?

    First of all, I applaud your resilience. You have been through a hell of a lot and the fact that you haven't given up reveals a lot about your character. In terms of the idiot who keeps posting private videos and pictures of you, I would again try to go to the police and maybe even file a restraining order. What he's doing definitely counts as harassment, and he needs to face the consequences of his actions. You often hear of the cops doing nothing in situations like this, but the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Stay on their case and contact them frequently so you don't slip off their radar.

    As for why the guy hates you, the reason doesn't really matter. He sounds like a sick, twisted person who likes to hurt others. He's the one with the problem, not you! You may not have made the wisest choices in the past, but we all make mistakes and don't deserve to have them broadcast for all to view and judge.

    Have you thought about moving away from where you live? It sounds like a very toxic environment. Maybe a new city and a fresh start would be beneficial. I wouldn't see this as running away, just getting away from bad people who have caused you a lot of pain and giving yourself the opportunity to be happier.

     
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