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HPV-telling spouse ?

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Old 07-02-2012, 11:53 AM   #1
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HPV-telling spouse ?

Hi All!
My husband is VERY insecure & follows me around so much we've had to get counceling for this. I don't know whether to tell him or not??? The Dr. told me that He prob already has it, because we've had sex. Yes, I was horrible in cheating....& he knows of one time a long time ago that when fighting we all really messed up & I walked off with someone. I had a black out & don't know what happened. He does know about that particular incident. We've been married 34 yrs now, & have def. had our ups & downs. I have had leep procedures & colposcopies. He may have a clue, but I have no idea. ANY anwers would help! I want to do what the same time I KNOW I won't ever be doing this again, & do not won't him hurt & even more insecure.Thanks !

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Old 07-07-2012, 02:41 AM   #2
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Re: HPV-telling spouse ?

The thing you have to know is that something like 80% of women have HPV and don't know it. It is something that you should not be ashamed of. I understand the issue with your hubbs and your history but for all you know your hubbs was the one that gave it to you. When I found out I had it I freaked out and I did all kinds of research. The one thing I learned is yes it is sexually transmitted but it is transmitted in a way that there is really no preventing it. Sure condoms help but HPV doesn't have to come from intercourse. I wish I had saved the site but it can be transmitted just skin to skin, I know that doesn't make things better but it will let you know how easy it is to spread. Condoms don't cover everything that touches durring sex.
My husband was in the room with me when I found out I had it and the doctor was able to reaassure him that I wasn't doing something I shouldn't. He was told that he could have given it to me, or I could have gotten it years ago. I think your husband needs to know just so if something does happen with yall he would be able to know to becareful with anyone in the future. But chances are that anyone he is with in the future will already have it.

Old 07-07-2012, 10:43 AM   #3
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Re: HPV-telling spouse ?

It is 100% selfish not to tell him. He needs to know, what if he gets cancer or something from it. It's too important not to tell him.

Old 11-26-2012, 10:41 PM   #4
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coldcoxme HB User
Re: HPV-telling spouse ?

i would want to know all of them. get it over and done with. make a fresh start and not worry in the future. i am trying to get my wife to come clean right now and if its worth it a new start.

Old 11-27-2012, 07:18 AM   #5
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Re: HPV-telling spouse ?

I wouldn't say anything, the majority of the population has it, it's not a big deal, and saying something would cause more problems

Old 11-27-2012, 04:32 PM   #6
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Re: HPV-telling spouse ?

I think you need more information.

HPV is a group of virus'. Some are minor, some are major. Yes, it's true that a large percent of adults have HPV. But that does not mean they have a cancer causing HPV.

I'd really suggest you do more research. Find out specifically which HPV you have. The test that diagnosed it should have that detail. Then look that up. If it's one of the minor virus', I might not say anything. But there is an HPV that causes cancer in men. And then there are those can men can transmit to women and it causes cancer in women. And if it's one of those versions, you should at least know. I hate to sound negative, but if your marriage does not last he should know his medical history. You might not want to tell him now, but if things don't work out, you might feel better about yourself if you come clean so that he can make the right choices for his life.

Do a search on the different types of HPV virus'. Learn a little more and that might help you decide.

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