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Blended Family With Grown Adult Children

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Old 07-14-2012, 10:41 PM   #1
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Unhappy Blended Family With Grown Adult Children

Hi! Bf and I have been friends for 2 years, going out for 2 months, inseparable. Our 3 kids are 20, 20, and 18. Bf and I are thinking about moving in together at our 6-month mark into my house. I own my house, and bf rents his house. My 2 kids (20 and 18) are fine with it. His daughter thinks there won't be enough room for her stuff. My house has 4 bedrooms, 2-1/2 baths, soon to be another full bath, and 2 living rooms. She also feels she's been lied to but does not specify about what or by whom. She found her dad's/my bf's letter to their landlady about them moving out of their rental before he's had a chance to talk to his daughter about us moving in together, but it has not been kept a secret; things have been said about it in front of her; just not yet in a heart-to-heart conversation with her. I'm not sure how to handle how she feels. Part of me feels she's making excuses because she feels funny about her dad having anyone in his life since her mom left 6 years ago, part of me understands she's used to being an only child, and part of me asks how much should I care how she feels because she's an adult, not a teenager or small child. How should I feel in this situation, and how should I handle it? Should I try to accommodate her and give up the master bedroom to her, decide not to have bf move in after all and just keep our living situation as is until she decides to move out of his house (she's lived on her own before and he asked her to move back), or should I just tell her sorry my house apparently isn't big enough and that I wish her the best in her search for a different home? My kids are fine with the whole thing. I want everyone to be happy; everyone is except for bf's daughter.

Last edited by Megamel; 07-14-2012 at 10:49 PM. Reason: Irelevant info.

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Old 07-15-2012, 12:00 AM   #2
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Re: Blended Family With Grown Adult Children

She's 20, she's lucky you don't just tell her to leave. She should either deal with it or get her own place.

Old 07-15-2012, 12:12 AM   #3
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Re: Blended Family With Grown Adult Children

Yea she is an adult. She is lucky you are offering to let her live there at all, frankly. I don't think you should give up the master bedroom cause that would be giving into a spoiled brat, which is what she is. She can either accept it or find her own place, end of story. But for her to be so immature about it at her age is really sad. Don't be changing everything around to please her. It will set a bad precedent that all she has to do is pout like a baby and she'll get whatever she wants. No, because then your kids will start resenting both you and her and that's going to make things worse. She can either accept it or find someplace else to live but she should consider herself lucky that you even offered! For pete's sake, she's not a child, she is a grown woman!

Old 07-15-2012, 09:23 PM   #4
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Re: Blended Family With Grown Adult Children

I agree, at this point in his life his happiness should come first, not hers. She is being given a great opportunity, she can move in with you or move on with her life.

Old 07-16-2012, 12:34 PM   #5
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Re: Blended Family With Grown Adult Children

you absolutely do NOT give up the master bedroom!
I would hold off before letting them move in, you're asking for trouble otherwise. In the meantime, maybe your BF/her father could transition her into some other living arrangements, so when he comes he doesn't bring her with!
it would be worth the me.

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