It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Should I stay or should I go?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-02-2012, 03:55 PM   #1
Senior Member
princesscol's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 126
princesscol HB User
Unhappy Should I stay or should I go?

Iíve been with my boyfriend for 8 months and Iím thinking that maybe itís not going to work out. There is a back story here. We were engaged afte 3 months and he broke it off because we had a really bad argument and we had argued basically since right after we got engaged. I was going through some personal issues and then we were stressed about the wedding and paying for it and things just blew up. We were broken up for two weeks and then decided to give it another try but it still doesnít seem like heís back to loving me as much or the way he used to. He used to be the sweetest man in the world. I just canít expalin it. I was a priority to him and now it just seems like Iím an inconvenience in his life. He tells me he loves me just as much as he used to but his actions do not show it. Now Iím scared to argue with him because I don't want him to break up with me again. We are no longer engaged and he returned the enagement ring. That hurt me so much and I know deep inside I still don't forgive him for that. I understand if we were both stressed and needed a ďbreakĒ from eachother but the fact that we broke up completely and the engagement was called off really broke my heart. I just don't know what to do at this point. I mean I keep telling myself Iím going to give it until our 1 year anniversay and if things don't go back to the way they used to be or if I don't start feeling appreciated Iím just going to leave but I don't even know if I should give it that long or if I should just leave now.
Iím just so confused.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 08-02-2012, 05:04 PM   #2
Seraph's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,438
Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Can you sit down and talk about it without arguing? There is a lot of stuff going on here and maybe you are seeing everything through your hurt at the breakup. The issue of your breakup needs to be brought out and dealt with or it will poison any future you may have. This stuff will not go away, you must (both) deal with or call it quits. Sera

Old 08-02-2012, 05:52 PM   #3
Senior Member
princesscol's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 126
princesscol HB User
Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Thank you for your response. See the thing is is that I have brought this up and it does turn into an arguement. I've brought it up a lot when we first got back together because I wanted it to go back to normal so bad and he would get mad because he said I was pushing him. Well now it's been a couple months. We've even been on vacation together and I just feel like he's not any closer to being the man I fell in love with. I would like to bring it up again but I know we will argue. I'm trying to give him some time but it's hard. Basically, my thinking is if he doesn't show me on our anniversary that he appreciates me then it's time to let go. I just didn't know if I should wait or just cut my loses. I keep going back and forth with this and I just dont know how to bring it up without fighting.

Old 08-02-2012, 08:09 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
Kszan's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,257
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: Should I stay or should I go?

I told you last time you posted that this was a bad idea. If after 3 months you guys were already fighting, what would happen after 4 years? You saw the "fake" him for the time when he was being nice because everyone always fakes it for the first few months. Who you are seeing now is the person he really is and as you can see he is no good. If I were you I'd boogie right now, there's no reason to prolong this charade any longer. He is showing you his true self now and as you can clearly see, you're not actually compatible with him. So you need to cut your losses and find someone new. I seriously wouldnt waste anymore time with him. He treats you like an inconvenience you said it yourself. Why stuck around for more of that when someone way better is out there?

Old 08-03-2012, 06:27 AM   #5
Senior Member
Chrissy26's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 236
Chrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB User
Re: Should I stay or should I go?

My husband and I went through this when we got engaged. I was going through a lot of things of my own and I felt like the wedding planning was all on me while he was out with his friends. I told him about it, it led to a big argument and of course calling off the engagement. It got worse though. He broke up with me because he didn't think I loved him enough. And I hung out with some guys that were friends of my friends and yea..something horrible happened to me. But that's all details I don't want to get into. My point is, after a longggggggggggg time we did get back together and now we're married with 4 children. So things can change. And yes he was acting cold with me too after we got back together. We actually broke up quite a few times after getting back together. I too felt he didn't love me like he used to. It was like the relationship was ruined and never the same. But he did love me the same, and maybe more now than ever before since we have a family together. You can talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and if it does result in another argument, tell him "I love you so much but I refuse to be in a relationship where I gotta be afraid to tell you what I feel in fear of an argument. Imagine we did get married and I had an issue going on and I needed to talk to you? I can't deal with that. I love you but if it doesn't change and you KNOW you're not going to change it, then let me go so I can move on." Straight to the point. If he loves you he'll make the effort. In a relationship you should never have to be afraid to speak your mind. That's where the support comes in but if he can't provide that then honestly, maybe he's not the one for you?

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Husband's Cocaine Addiction -Still wondering should I stay or should I go tiredofthebs Relationship Health 10 08-13-2011 05:57 PM
Should I stay or should I go? paperhearts Relationship Health 5 01-24-2010 11:28 AM
should I stay or should i Go? bebe1016 Relationship Health 20 08-21-2009 10:39 AM
Should I not think too much into it? fallenangel81 Relationship Health 31 04-04-2008 03:40 PM
Should I stay with her? john76734 Relationship Health 3 10-18-2006 04:02 PM
should i stay or should i go? StuckinaRut Relationship Health 7 07-15-2006 01:48 PM
should I go or should I stay? ukbloke Relationship Health 4 04-11-2006 11:47 AM
Should I stay or go farceur66 Relationship Health 6 10-08-2005 08:18 AM
Should I stay or should I go? Sincerely, Heartbroken archelle Relationship Health 12 05-29-2005 07:06 PM
Should i Stay or Should i Go? Tiggerbabe Relationship Health 16 05-07-2005 11:14 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:53 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!