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  • i love my boyfriend but feel so lonely

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    Old 08-04-2012, 10:22 AM   #1
    yummymummy37
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    Unhappy i love my boyfriend but feel so lonely

    I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I have been divorced 5 years and he seperated 4 years. I have 2 teenage children who basically prefer to do their own thing and my b friend has a daughter aged 12. He sees her every other day. I love my b friend so much but the problem is he says he loves me but can't commit as he had his daughter to think of. We all get along so well and love each other. I just don't know his problem. Some times he won't contact me for a couple of days and he says he is tired or busy but still mentions only now and then that he,loves me. Every time I broach the subject of living together he backs right off and I feel guilty for being too full on. I wear my heart on my sleeve and would do anything for him and his daughter but he does not show emotion he Like's to joke all the time. When we do spend time together we laugh so much but I feel so lonely knowing this is as far as it goes. He won't get divorced as he says its only a piece of paper. He says he doesnt love his wife and she left him for an other woman but they remain good terms for their daughter which I think is great. I tried backing him in to a corner at new year by talking about maybe just looking at a,home for us all and he dumped me for a few months. We got back together as we missed each other but I feel lonely again now. I try to do things when I don't see him and keep busy but I miss the companionship. We r going on holiday for a week soon and I know he,likes playing happy families on holiday and every time I think this will make him want it forever but he doesnt. I feel so sad. Should I walk away after the holiday and find someone who wants me Like I want them? Sometimes I think I would prefer him one,day a week than not at all. Please help.

     
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    Old 08-04-2012, 12:52 PM   #2
    slenderella
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    Re: i love my boyfriend but feel so lonely

    I think you're right, that your boyfriend doesn't want to commit. That seems very clear.
    In my opinion, divorce papers are so much more than "just a piece of paper" but I'm sure you know he says that to minimize the fact that he doesn't want to do it.
    He may very well love you, but it sounds to me as if he's happy with his life, and with you, just the way it is, and you have to make a tough decision. I wish I could help you decide, but I can't. I'm not sure what I would do, if I were in your shoes. You sound unhappy, and that is what makes me think that you're ready to say goodbye to this guy.
    Best wishes, Sue

     
    Old 08-04-2012, 01:17 PM   #3
    yummymummy37
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    Re: i love my boyfriend but feel so lonely

    Thanks sue. He is a lovely guy and I just keep thinking if I stay a bit longer he may change his mind but if I walk away I may end up even lonelier. It's a tough decision x

     
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    Old 08-05-2012, 10:13 AM   #4
    NatePanda
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    Re: i love my boyfriend but feel so lonely

    I feel the same, 3 years is sometimes not enough time for one person to commit seriously, for others it's too much time. I go back and forth about what I feel is ideal.

    I've been with my partner for 2 years 3 months, my boyfriend has never been with anyone else but me, I have however had 5 relationships. I would like to live together or marry but some days I think I'm not ready, my partner isn't ready for marriage but is already looking for houses for us.

    My only opinion would be, don't mention it for a while and if you WANT to, wait till you hit the 5 year mark, almost all my friends and my boyfriends friends didn't get serious until 5 years and one couple have been together 10 years (since high school) before they decided to live together.

     
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    yummymummy37 (08-06-2012)
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