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Need help with gf.

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Old 08-05-2012, 12:35 AM   #1
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MattNotz HB User
Need help with gf.

So I have to repost this because this is something I need help dealing with and I AM trying to understand. My gf gets like this on her period and I get that it is hormonal, but how much is hormonal and how much is just her? She is a very bright woman, but she can get absent minded on her period. Case in point:

She gets invited to a wedding months ago tonight... I'm not invited (its her coworker's daughters wedding)... Understandable.

We had plans to go to my buddy's shore house this weekend and she was excited to go... I knew she wouldn't get back from the wedding till late.
to rewind for a second, I asked her in the beginning of the week (when she started her period coincidentally) if we could take her car since I had to get work done on mine. She said yes.

She meets her coworker at my house (half way point) and they go to the wedding... I asked her again BEFORE she left if we could still use her car since I had to drop mine off. She again says yes and its no problem, she just needs to do a few things at her house after she gets back from the wedding. Alright fine no worries.

I drop my car off, I'm home all night rebuilding my PC with a new motherboard and studying for my Security+ Exam. i fall asleep at 11:30PM, she doesn't get back here till 1AM...

you would think she would LOOK in my room for me, but she automatically assumes that I am upset with her for being late (which hasn't happened more than once in our 7 months of dating, I'm used to her always being late for everything) and as a result left without telling her.... she leaves my house, goes home, calls me, and because I'm sleeping I don't answer...

I just talked to her a few mins ago, and she doesn't even recall me saying i had to drop my car off at the mechanic... presumably I knew she was "mad" because she obviously thinks I just ditched out on her... Meanwhile i made no other plans because she orignally told me she would be back by 10:30PM... and had i hung out with a long time female friend of mine that I still talk with often (no feelings regarding the situation, just been friends for 4 years now) she would have gotten upset even more.

I just dont understand... and it's all when she's on her period. she's never like this otherwise.

Last edited by MattNotz; 08-05-2012 at 12:36 AM.

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Old 08-05-2012, 12:42 AM   #2
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Re: Need help with gf.

That's not right. A period is not an excuse in the least, and I've gotten some bad ones. This is just something you'll have to deal with, some women handle it better than others. You've only been together 7 months. Do you really want to deal with this for much longer?

Last edited by Ashley4424; 08-05-2012 at 12:42 AM.

Old 08-05-2012, 02:02 AM   #3
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Re: Need help with gf.

What do you hope to get from this discussion? The way I read it is that this really annoys you, and you want to know if her behaviour is different because of hormones. The answer doesn't matter, because your dealing with it should be the same. If it annoys you, then say to her that you are annoyed when she..........PMS can make women forgetful and vague, but it is not carte blanche to riding roughshod over somebody's feelings. There is no difference here than with any stressor, we still have the choice to treat people properly. Sera

Old 08-05-2012, 02:26 AM   #4
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Re: Need help with gf.

I just want to know what the best course of action is. She gets real ditzy during this time. And I get blamed for stuff that isn't my fault. I just don't feel if it were the other way around you'd be so sympathetic. If like I was in a lot of pain and maybe said or did something hurtful.

Old 08-05-2012, 11:12 AM   #5
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Re: Need help with gf.

I presume you've already calmly discussed this topic with her (NOT during her period). How did that discussion go?

I personally don't get "ditzy" during (or just before) my period. I do get exceptionally tired and I have gotten pretty cranky (fortunately not anymore, just when I was in my 20s). I try to take better care of myself, get as much rest as I need, eat healthier than normal (and I eat pretty healthy anyway) and don't plan to attend major events unless I have to because I know I'll have to spend so much time in the restroom! I do know a lot of menopausal women who are pretty difficult to deal with (they are always so HOT and they crank the A/C down to 58 degrees and the rest of us are wearing ski jackets in the office when it's 100 degrees outside LOL), but I feel that I am the one who needs to adjust because most of the time they honestly can't help it.

I am curious to know what your GF said when you discussed this with her. Did she agree that she can be "ditzy"? Does she feel there's anything she can do to help the situation?

Old 08-06-2012, 06:50 AM   #6
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Re: Need help with gf.

You said this only happens when she's on her period so you know she's not doing it on purpose or because she doesn't care about you. If she was like this all the time then I would say it's her personality or something she has against you.

Some women get very hormonal during their period and not just their period but also when they're ovulating. They can't help it and there's no cure for it. It's been like this for years and years. It is what it is. I get extremely sensitive when I'm on my period. The thing is this, I know it's annoying to you but lets say you got serious with her or any other girl for that matter. You know if you got married and the girl got her period, you can't be like "I can't deal with this anymore". You're married now and if you were to leave someone over their hormones especially when it's 5-7 days out of each month, then you shouldn't commit to someone. It's the same when a female gets pregnant and her hormones DRASTICALLY change. See, guys can't fully understand that because they don't get periods or get pregnant or ovulate. Their hormones are never jacked up unless they were doing steroids and that's by choice. Having a period, ovulating and even having a baby is something women do. Without all of these things, we would not have babies in the world. I know it's a lot to deal with for some guys but if you're committing yourself to any girl, I don't care WHO it is, this is going to happen. If you can't handle it then you know you're not ready to be with someone just yet. That's just my opinion and I hope I didn't offend you.

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