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  • I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

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    Old 12-20-2012, 06:59 PM   #1
    Labellavita46
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    I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

    Hi everyone,

    This is my first post here and I'm just hoping to get some advice.

    So my boyfriends best friend is a total jerk to me. He's been disrespectful and rude since my bf and I started dating 2 1/2 years ago. Some examples of things he's done:

    Tried to convince my boyfriend to have a 3some with two girls at a party.
    Brought porn mags over to my bf's house and put a pin up poster on his wall of a girl completely naked so I'd see it when I got there
    Talk about me behind my back tomy boyfriend and trash me

    I got so fed up after trying everything I could think of to get along with him until finally I couldn't stand it anymore and told my boyfriend that this kid is effecting our relationship too much and I'm ready to walk. So my boyfriend explained to his friend that they should just take some space.

    Then earlier this year my boyfriend made a snowball of lies to cover up the fact that he went to the club with this kid. The only reason I found out was because his friend posted a picture on ******** or the two of them at the club captioned 'oops' which was a clear stab at me because he knew I would see it and that my boyfriend lied to me for him.

    I just hate the kid so freaking much. And now my bf wants to start going out with him again and I just don't trust it. And worst of all my boyfriend doesn't understand why I care. I explained to him that his friend is extremely rude and disrespectful and he says that if I'm not around his friend then it shouldn't bother him.

    The way I see it is if there was someone in my life who made my boyfriend feel bad then I wouldn't wanna be around that person because I love and respect my guy but he just thinks I need to get over it and it shouldn't bother me and he's gonna hang out with whoever he wants because his friend is important to him. I understand that he can hang out with whoever he wants but it hurts me that he doesn't take my feelings into consideration.he says he gets my feelings but he wants to be a little bit selfish because he misses his friend. I just feel so stuck like I just can't win. Help?

     
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    Old 12-20-2012, 07:37 PM   #2
    Seraph
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    Re: I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

    Here is a perfect situation for compromise. You are being a little bit unfair to forbid your bf associating with his friend. The friend probably goes back a long way. Just tell your bf you do not want to be involved in any way with their activities. In all the time you have been going out, the friend's stupid stuff has not worked, right. There seems to be a little insecurity on both sides, but the gf usually comes first. He is not important enough to force your bf to choose between. You can choose not to have him around you, and that should be enough. Sera

     
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    Old 12-21-2012, 04:51 AM   #3
    shesaneagle
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    Re: I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

    but he just thinks I need to get over it and it shouldn't bother me and he's gonna hang out with whoever he wants because his friend is important to him. I understand that he can hang out with whoever he wants but it hurts me that he doesn't take my feelings into consideration.he says he gets my feelings but he wants to be a little bit selfish because he misses his friend. I just feel so stuck like I just can't win.

    I Know exactly how you feel here. ( The friend of his is just so jealous of him so he will do whatever he can to destroy him but your guy doesn't see that either until it's too late. so your guy is getting free rides from him until he opens his eyes and see the big picture here. but of course it will be done to late for your guy by the time he really sees what is really going on here.

    my guy will never see what his friends is doing either till my guy stops and sees what is really going on behind his friends thinking while destroying him and all his relationships. but I'm almost positive I will be gone before he sees it all happening cause he's enjoying all the free set ups behind it all.

     
    Old 12-21-2012, 05:45 AM   #4
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    Re: I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

    your bf is a jerk too.....sound like two peas in a pod, him and his bud. I'd move on.
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    Old 12-21-2012, 06:34 AM   #5
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    Re: I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

    the problem is MORE with your BF than it is with his friend.....
    a good boyfriend would have put his friend in his place right away and told him to knock off the nonsense, and knock off the disrespect toward you.
    By allowing his friend to disrespect you, your boyfriend is disrespecting you also.

     
    Old 01-01-2013, 03:51 PM   #6
    lorraine231
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    Re: I HATE my boyfriends best friend!!!

    I'm going to give you some honest advice because this actually worked for me. I stopped tripping off of them. I started to get busy with my own life and did not always make myself available to him. Pretty soon he wanted to find out what I was so occupied with that he wanted to spend more time with me. Now mind you, that you are going to have to be strong in the beginning and not be available when he calls and wants to get together. Even if you are sitting on the couch crying your eyes out. BE STRONG, DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE. Let this go on for about a week and when he says, "I thought I would see you today" Just reply with, "Oh honey, I thought you would be with (his friend). I ran into some friends at (wherever)." IMPORTANT: Don't have a hint of sarcasm in your voice, sound sincere because you will give yourself away.

     
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