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  • Boyfriend's strange Obsessions Coming Between Us

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    Old 01-18-2013, 06:46 PM   #1
    Mistyedge's Avatar
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    Boyfriend's strange Obsessions Coming Between Us

    This is going to sound very weird, but here goes.....
    My BF suffered a concussion about a year ago and since then his personality has changed and he gets obsessed with things usually for about 4 or 5 months then moves on to another obsession....
    First it was the "pending economic collapse". He began hoarding food and reading constantly about how to survive a doomsday scenario.. He could think about and talk of nothing else...
    Then he got a new neighbor. Decided he hated his new neighbor and became obsessed with "getting even" with him after the guy cut down trees he liked (not even on his property) BF even cut out windows in his house to install cameras to spy on his neighbor.
    Then last March it was organic gardening....he decided he needed to learn how to grow food etc. in his backyard and even purchased a bio dome etc. the bio dome was never used....

    Now, his latest obsession is retirement/becoming a slumlord... He is completely panicked that he does not have enough to retire, so he pulled his money out of the stock market and is now obsessed about getting buying a cheap run down home in the bad part of downtown and fixing it up to rent it out. I tried to point out that buying a house Downtown was "fools gold" and everyone we know who had that same "investment" idea ended up hating it, losing money and eventually moving back to the suburbs....he won't listen. Plus I won't visit him if he moves to a crack hood thinking "his house will eventually appreciate because of the location" as he says....
    He never had these odd obsessions before his injury. This has just happened in the last year....he has always had some sort of pipe dreams he would talk about casually in the past but nothing serious....
    The latest obsession is really coming between us. When I confronted him about it he said " you have to just worry about something that may or may not happen!" And he says it is no big deal...he is so obsessed with this latest pipe dream, he has been ignoring me pretty much...makes me sad.
    I don't want to throw away a 5 year relationship , but the last year since his head injury and all these obsessions has been sucks watching him just set himself up for failure...

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    Old 01-19-2013, 02:33 AM   #2
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    Re: Boyfriend's strange Obsessions Coming Between Us

    I can totally empathize with your situation. 2 weeks before my youngest child was born, her father fell 16 feet head first into a concrete floor. At first I didn't see it, I had a new baby who was ill and a two year old who developed a kidney condition 8 months after his little sister was born.
    But then I started noticing that he hadn't bonded with our daughter like he did with our son. He hardly ever held her or played with her. He started disappearing at night, then I found out he hadn't been going to work. It went downhill from there. He was doing coke behind my back. I couldn't give him cash to pay bills or anything, he'd be off shooting dope.
    He was a totally different person than the person I met and fell in love with. To this very day, I love that man, but he died a long time ago and I couldn't live like that. When he went to prison I was done.
    There is a name for it, but I can"t spell it, so I can going to kinda sound it out. Its a contra coupe injury. Its where the brain slams against the skull. In my ex's case, he had to have emergency surgery to drain the bleeding. It"s brain damage.
    I don't know if your boyfriend can be treated, I know my ex wouldn't even try. And the sad part is that they aren't to blame. He isn't doing this to hurt you, he can't help it.
    I don"t really have any advice for you, other than maybe do some research. This happened to my 16 years ago, maybe there are new treatments. But in any case I wanted you to know that you are not alone.
    My prayers go out to both of you.

    Old 01-19-2013, 03:40 PM   #3
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    Re: Boyfriend's strange Obsessions Coming Between Us

    I don't have any advice or knowledge on the subject of obsession when due to brain injury I just wanted to say I hear you and I'm sorry for the pain you must be feeling.

    Old 01-22-2013, 03:48 AM   #4
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    Re: Boyfriend's strange Obsessions Coming Between Us

    I googled it and apparently, psychiatric disorders after a brain injury are frequent. The one that had the most articles was OCD. So, I think he needs to see a doctor. Getting him to do that might be difficult, though. I was married to someone who had chronic depression and in the end because he wouldn't help himself, it destroyed our marriage. (He did go to get help but wouldn't cooperate with the counselor or psychiatrist). Psychiatric illnesses of all types usually do effect loved ones in some way. So maybe you can look to see if there are any resources or anything to help you out. Make sure you take care of you, though. I wish you all the best.

    Old 01-22-2013, 09:44 AM   #5
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    Re: Boyfriend's strange Obsessions Coming Between Us

    I'm sorry I don't have any solutions for you but I just have to make a comment. I find it so frustrating that as advanced as our society is, we can fix almost anything broken or worn out, the brain is still a total mystery to scientists. I pray there are breakthroughs coming in the near future but as of today, many are left with nothing to show for their troubles but pain and suffering. I wish you both all the Best!

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    boyfriend troubles, break up, long term relationship, love, obsessions

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