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  • Confusing Behavior

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    Old 01-09-2014, 06:19 PM   #1
    camp8989
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    Confusing Behavior

    I had been seeing a guy for about a year who had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship so he said he didn't want to get serious. We have known each other since high school (I'm 23) and he cheated on his girlfriend with me a few years ago (I felt horrible and ended that, but it took him another year to confess it to his girlfriend). Things were rocky from the start because I wanted more, and he said things like he "could" love me. It screwed with my mind, and I thought if I gave him time it would work out. Back in November he told me very honestly that he was seeing a huge improvement in my mood, that I seemed really happy and that he was really happy for me, it felt like it meant a lot. A week later he saw a guy completely randomly kiss me out of no where at a party. He immediately told me he didn't want to "hook up with me if I was going to let random guys make out with me" it was completely unreasonable because we were not exclusive. When we talked about it later he claimed not to care and when I took a while to answer a text of his about it he just texted back "**** Off!" We didn't talk for a few weeks after that. I got a weird blank text message from him and a missed call at around one am about two weeks after he told me to **** off. I called him back a few days later, although I hadn't planned to. He told me simply he called because he was "drunk and wanted to ****." This is a guy who has good, kind friends who also think of him as a good person. I have never been treated this way by a guy before and I am extremely confused. I texted him the next day telling him that the next time he was "drunk and wants to ****" to forget my number. I didn't get a response and that was over a month ago. Please tell me what the hell this means? I want to move on, but I still care about him and don't know why he acted like this.

    Please don't judge me for dating a guy who stated that he was unable to be in a committed relationship at the time due to the ending of a very long term one that ended badly. It was also his first ever relationship. I tried to understand where he was coming from.

    For the most part I just want to know the most common reasons guys act this way, and if there is any hope in salvaging this relationship at a later time. If you want to tell me I was used, I acted like a doormat, etc. please save it.

     
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    Old 01-09-2014, 06:36 PM   #2
    Seraph
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    Re: Confusing Behavior

    This relationship is history. I get what you say at the end - being used will only happen if you let this guy back into your life. Life is too short to put up with this sort of thing. For whatever reason, you and he are no good together. There are many many guys in the world who will treat you as you deserve. Don't settle for less. Sera

     
    Old 01-09-2014, 07:24 PM   #3
    Kszan
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    Re: Confusing Behavior

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by camp8989 View Post
    For the most part I just want to know the most common reasons guys act this way, and if there is any hope in salvaging this relationship at a later time.
    The most common reason for guys to act this way is because that type of guy, guys like this guy, are douchebags and get off on disrespecting girls. They seek out girls like you who will allow themselves to be disrespected while he gets to run around doing whatever he wants with whoever he wants while you're just supposed to sit in the corner and be quiet until he wants to get his rocks off. So yea, this guy is in that group of guys who are not good for anything more than a casual hook ups from time to time. But if you want a loving, caring, respectful long term relationship then you're definitely barking up the wrong tree with this guy. I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but your post speaks volumes of his disrespect toward you. It's very sad and seeing you so committed to getting such a jerk back into your life makes me sad, too. I hope you will reconsider.

     
    Old 01-10-2014, 06:53 AM   #4
    rosequartz
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    Re: Confusing Behavior

    I don't think this is a relationship, so I'm confused at what needs saving.....
    he told you he doesn't want anything serious, and when he saw you kiss another guy he said he doesn't want to "hook-up" with you because of this......
    his words....hook-up, that's all he was interested in doing.
    since it's been a month and you haven't gotten a response, it's pretty safe to say you won't be getting one......and that is your answer.
    move on, there is nothing here to cling to......

     
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