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  • Mum & Sister "ganging up" over wedding plans

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    Old 02-18-2014, 06:08 AM   #1
    scubadiva42
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    Mum & Sister "ganging up" over wedding plans

    Some advice and opinions would be appreciated. I live abroad and my second baby is due in a couple of months. My sister is getting married later in the year. This is great news as she has been with a guy for 12 years and they have two kids together. It is what my sister has always wanted and I am totally made up for her. The issue I have concerns my sister and my mum “ganging up” on me with regards to the wedding. As soon as the date was announced I explained very nicely it would be difficult for us to return for a long period of time over the wedding weekend as it falls during term time and our eldest is at school. We live in Spain and the rules here are very strict about taking your child out of school, a day or two most is just about tolerated. We also have the issue of flight costs while we are living on maternity pay (I am on the only earner in our house) and I hope to still be bf’ing my baby when the wedding comes. I am under huge pressure for the four of us to return to UK for the week of the wedding, for the hen weekend a month or so before, and for bridesmaid dress fittings. I keep saying I don’t think we can “just pop back” as they refer to it at any time they want because we are living on a strict budget and I don’t want to leave my baby while I am bf’ing and still waiting for the vaccination jabs. They tell me I am being awkward and difficult and this is what happens when you live so far away. We have been abroad for 7 years now and have always, always made an effort to be back for family occasions but now we kind of feel we need to focus on our little ones. Am I being unreasonable? I cant help but feel guilty. Of course I want to be involved in my sister’s wedding but surely the demands on us need to be realistic too.

     
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    Old 02-23-2014, 10:57 AM   #2
    lenvegas
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    Re: Mum & Sister "ganging up" over wedding plans

    Hi, I feel that in your situation you need to look after your own interests first. The case for you that involves your finances and the welfare of your children is more compelling than the formality of your sisters wedding in which she has been with someone 12 years and have two kids already............for all practical purposes, she is married already. I am not saying it is not an important wedding just less important than if she did not have a family already. as it seems that she and her man already made a commitment to each other and their children.....good luck with this

     
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