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  • Friends have abandoned me in a time of need

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    Old 07-02-2014, 12:29 PM   #1
    Sarahbex
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    Friends have abandoned me in a time of need

    So in January my bf of 2yrs broke up with me and moved out. My business partners stabbed me in the back and my roommate moved out. Let's just say I was feeling pretty low. I went on anti-depressants to try and help me through the difficult time I was having, because truth be told, my friends didn't seem to care. They knew what was going on and knew I was upset. Honestly on top of everything I was incredibly hurt that my close friends I've had for the past 5yrs had little to say to me.

    I tried not to take it personally. I understand that people have their own lives, their own problems and woes they are dealing with. Was I expecting too much I started to wonder?

    I eventually started reaching out a bit more, realizing that perhaps I wasn't being vocal enough about what was a going on with me, but to no avail really.

    I recently approached a friend asking why people hadn't reached out. Apparently it has something to do with my friends not being able to relate to me. Here I was owning my own business, something apparently most of my friends dream about . I told him I didn't understand. It wasn't my choice to leave the business, but I wasn't going to stay in a professional relationship with people who did not respect my worth.

    Also, he mentioned the whole money thing. Now this is something I've struggled with quite a bit in my early adult years. My parents paid for me to go to an amazing college, helped me find a place to live after I graduated, and helped me invest in my business. I am extremely grateful for the support my parents have given me through the years. I hope to be at a point of success in my later life so I can help my children out as much as my parents have helped me. And believe me I will be taking care of my parents in their later years.

    I guess I was just raised that you are there for people when they need a little extra help. None of us are perfect, and although my family is always there for me, I'm still trying to understand why my friends aren't.

    Are they worth fighting for, or should I move on? Honestly it hurts so much I'm thinking of moving. I'm just not sure I could start fresh if I stay put.

    Any advice is appreciated! Ever been in my shoes? How did you deal? Thanks in advance!

     
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    Old 07-02-2014, 12:49 PM   #2
    lenvegas
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    Re: Friends have abandoned me in a time of need

    Hi, your friends are not worth fighting for because they are not true friends, they were not there in your time of need. In your life if you have one true friend, then you are lucky.....

     
    Old 07-02-2014, 03:36 PM   #3
    parker1261
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    Re: Friends have abandoned me in a time of need

    So sorry for the hard time you are going thru.....i am 52 and can count on 1 hand my true friends, and that includes only a few of my immediate family.....it's a tough terrible realization to face. BUT please understand that it's NOT you...but a lack of character of their part.

    i've also found that as i age, i'm realizing the difference between "being friendly" and "being friends".....

    its rough when the realization dovetails with a particularly crappy time ! no words of wisdom, no placation's, or magic spells....

    please us posted and let us know how things are going....
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    Last edited by Mo-S4; 07-02-2014 at 09:51 PM.

     
    Old 07-02-2014, 04:30 PM   #4
    Seraph
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    Re: Friends have abandoned me in a time of need

    Painful though it is, it is so common that there is a name for these people that is as old as time - fair weather friends. They enjoyed your success and wealth when you were up. Then used these as an excuse when you were down. Your friends are very shallow people. Maybe look at what you are attracted to in friends, and beware the ones who want only the happy, successful you. Sera

     
    Old 07-02-2014, 04:41 PM   #5
    Sarahbex
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    Re: Friends have abandoned me in a time of need

    Thanks for the replies guys! I appreciate all of the advice. I've decided to move on! Let go and let live I suppose. I'm taking a new job that will be taking me out of hometown starting in August. Excited to be starting fresh. Hoping to settle back into me.

     
    The following 2 users give hugs of support to: Sarahbex
    gmak (07-03-2014),parker1261 (07-03-2014)
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