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  • PLEASE HELP! Memories trigger anxiety attacks

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    Old 09-29-2014, 03:03 PM   #1
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    PLEASE HELP! Memories trigger anxiety attacks

    I hope someone out there can give me some advice. I'm a 30 yr old female who has suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child. In January of this year, my boyfriend of over 3 years (who I moved across the country to live with 2 years prior) ended our relationship. It completely surprised me. We had discussed marriage and kids, and had even set a tentative wedding date for this year. He cited being incompatible and generally unhappy as the reason for ending it. He dumped me while we were at my parents' house visiting for the holidays. So, my family and I had to fly to the home I shared with him, pack up my belongings, and drive/move me back across the country. While it has been almost 9 months since then and I have greatly improved, I've noticed recently that any thought or memory of him, our life together, his family, or even the state we lived in triggers major anxiety attacks. The attacks have gotten so severe that I even had myself admitted into an inpatient psychiatric clinic for help. They didn't help me. I recognize I need therapy, but apparently there's a shortage of therapists/counselors/social workers where I live because I've tried since July to get an appointment. How do I stop the good memories and thoughts? They spawn depression and anxiety, so I would really like to leave them behind. If anyone can help me, please do so. Every single day has become a struggle. I can't keep going on like this.

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    Old 09-29-2014, 08:17 PM   #2
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    Re: PLEASE HELP! Memories trigger anxiety attacks

    I can relate cause it happened to me. After my first boyfriend, who had also proposed, broke up with me, I had my first panic attack. It got worse for me until I had to quit my job. But I slowly started focusing my energy on other things, my friends, family, school, reading. I got really into the Mary Stewart series about Merlin and King Arthur. It's great stuff, you should check it out. As I began focusing on other things and thought less about him, my anxiety got better and I was able to press on. I would still get panic attacks sometimes, still do now, 20 years later, but I'm much more able to manage them because I focus on anything pleasant and happy and it helps me get through it. It takes some time but the more you focus on anything else but him, the better you still be able to push through it.

    There is also an anxiety and a panic forum on here which might be helpful to talk to other people who have similar problems. Panic attacks are really hard to explain to people who have never had the problem. It makes it hard to explain what's going on and why it's hard to control sometimes. People tend to criticize things that they don't understand.

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    Lexi26 (10-19-2014)
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    anxiety, breakup, panic attacks

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