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Schizophrenia: Was anyone else extremely gifted?


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Old 09-18-2018, 09:34 PM   #1
alluremarley
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Exclamation Schizophrenia: Was anyone else extremely gifted?

Good evening everyone,

I am writing this in hopes of making contact with other individuals who are diagnosed with schizophrenia like me. But my true ulterior motive...mwahaha...is to really discover the correlation between higher intelligence and mental illness.

I will start by first stating I am 100 percent aware I have hallucination, delusions, thought block which become noticeable in the forms of word salad, flat speech, and repetitive speech( my cousin witnessed me saying building, building, building etc. and i have no recollection of it). Hallmarks of disorganized schizophrenia or so I'm told. Furthermore, I have PTSD from an abusive relationship which I didnt know was abusive, until i left, because of the schizophrenia. My abuser has now joined the choir of other critics in my mind. Besides God, a demon, and my grandfather. The demon really likes lil wayne because they are one in the same. Yes, my delusion involves lil wayne being related to the demon in my mind. Haha go ahead and laugh, it's meant to be humorous �� But deep down I do believe he's a demon from hell.

Anyhow, as a child, I was seen as quiet and bright. The educators did not view me as a problem for the education system as I got older(which I did become a problem when I got older & my illness began). I didn't make friends easily so I only had schoolmates. I liked to sing, dance, watch tv, movies, read, and play computer games. I was a normal little girl in my eyes until I turned nine years old.

It was like my brain went into hyper speed. I built a grill correctly(followed instructions), taught myself ballet, taught myself how to sing properly i.e. vibrato, tone, pitch, breath control, researched chemistry/physics for fun, built a mud village complete with huts, drawbridge, moats, integration, and drainage systems. My polly pockets could not live in squalor!

Intelligence came at a high price: my sanity itself. Early onset schizophrenia is rare but I was always like this to be honest. At 9, I began seeing angels, demons, people, animals everywhere. I started to hear God telling me to study the bible if i wanted to get into heaven. Stop eating from the tree of knowledge, my precious one!

That's a line God always tells me.

I started to hear strangers(men) criticizing me saying I was ugly, no good, pointless, etc. Had one lovely voice say "You're too pretty to be smart. Starve yourself and you'll starve me." Weird but I listened. When I hit high school and tried to be in relationships I started self-harming because the voices would chorus "Cut yourself. Pain is the only emotion you will know."

My intellect is still present but my sanity not so much.

If anyone would like to elaborate on their bouts with schizophrenia, boast about their IQ, ask questions...please feel free.

Last edited by Administrator; 09-19-2018 at 12:37 AM.

 
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