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Joltster 07-08-2021 07:35 AM

on my own and i can't see all the people in my life
 
hi all, i'm a female 43 i live in the UK. i have mental illness schizo-affective disorder or schizophrenia. i live on my own in my own flat and i don't have a job. i have a problem for about the past 3 and a half years i can't see all my friends and family. im on my own in my life. my mum died of breast cancer when i was 13 before. i don't have much family now just a dad and 2 brothers. i don't like my dad now because he won't let me have boyfriends. i don't want to speak to my dad much anymore or see my dad anymore. but i can't see my brother and my friends for years now. i want to see my brother and friends again. i just talk to my friends on the phone now for years and i don't know why i don't meet up with them and see my friends and my brother again. my brother is married and i haven't even met his family yet and he lives near me. i don't like being on my own im scared of being on my own. i don't know why i can't see my brother and friends for years. now this problem has got even worse. i had a boyfriend and then he broke up with me and we were just friends now. his name is Joe. i still love joe i still really like him now joe has stopped talking to me on the phone he has moved and i don't have his address now and now hes changed his phone number and just cut me off on the phone. im so upset about this and i still love joe. now im even more on my own and i don't even want to wake up from sleep at the moment. i can't see all the people in my life now joe has stopped talking to me on the phone too. this is so hard at the moment and im worried about this at the moment. now joe has stopped talking to me on the phone too i don't know what to do now. i tried talking to the psychologist a bit before and some telephone counselling before it hasn't really helped. my nurse is off sick now and i can't see the doctor and psychologist again for another month or two months now and i don't know what to do im so worried about this problem now on my own in my life now. i think its hard living on my own with no job now. i have other problems at the moment as well like a reading and sleeping problem too and i suffer with my mental illness on my own now too. also i keep waking up feeling bad from sleep at the moment now i don't know if its something im dreaming about? please can you help about this at the moment and give any advice or suggestions about it at the moment please. thanks a lot Joltster


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