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    Old 04-26-2005, 07:00 PM   #1
    yfguitarist
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    Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    I'll try to make this as short as possible, and only put the most relevant symptoms, although there are lots of minor ones.

    -(I'm 17) Lately I've been feeling very strange and out of place, that nothing matters. I don't care or feel empathy or sadness.

    -I have this idea that I'm going to throw up whenever I'm in situations that may have made someone throw up in before. It doesn't matter how many times I've done it and stressed out about it, this thing appears everytime and I can't be convinced until afterwards. It affects my decisions on a regular basis but sometimes is subdued for weeks.

    -Recently, I was positive my mom poisoned my food to make me sick because of a minor disagreement. I almost turned down the food but I decided that that was not possible.

    -Today, I heard a girl's voice call out my name as clear as a bell. No one owned up to it, and everyone was serious, that they didn't hear anyone say my name. I've only had 2 hallucinations before, and those were in bed when I was younger (not asleep), and I may have heard speaking before (not sure).

    -I've been having a lot of homicidal thoughts.

    -My thoughts are fast-paced and I lose track of my thoughts and what I was thinking about, or get stuck on the same thought for an hour, or the same word. I often do this while pacing around. I replay conversations that I've just had constantly in my head. Occasionally I mess up certain words, I'll think "The only thing I found" and say "The only found I thing" or think "truck stop" and say "stuck trop."

    -I'm beginning to think that it's all in my head, that I'm perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with me, even though I've gotten messages from God telling me to get help.

    Thanks for reading.

    Andrew

     
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    Old 04-27-2005, 04:21 AM   #2
    dave_81
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by yfguitarist
    I'll try to make this as short as possible, and only put the most relevant symptoms, although there are lots of minor ones.

    -(I'm 17) Lately I've been feeling very strange and out of place, that nothing matters. I don't care or feel empathy or sadness.

    -I have this idea that I'm going to throw up whenever I'm in situations that may have made someone throw up in before. It doesn't matter how many times I've done it and stressed out about it, this thing appears everytime and I can't be convinced until afterwards. It affects my decisions on a regular basis but sometimes is subdued for weeks.

    -Recently, I was positive my mom poisoned my food to make me sick because of a minor disagreement. I almost turned down the food but I decided that that was not possible.

    -Today, I heard a girl's voice call out my name as clear as a bell. No one owned up to it, and everyone was serious, that they didn't hear anyone say my name. I've only had 2 hallucinations before, and those were in bed when I was younger (not asleep), and I may have heard speaking before (not sure).

    -I've been having a lot of homicidal thoughts.

    -My thoughts are fast-paced and I lose track of my thoughts and what I was thinking about, or get stuck on the same thought for an hour, or the same word. I often do this while pacing around. I replay conversations that I've just had constantly in my head. Occasionally I mess up certain words, I'll think "The only thing I found" and say "The only found I thing" or think "truck stop" and say "stuck trop."

    -I'm beginning to think that it's all in my head, that I'm perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with me, even though I've gotten messages from God telling me to get help.

    Thanks for reading.

    Andrew
    Hi Andrew,

    Nobody on this board can make a diagnosis; only a psychistrist can do that. Some of the things you describe -- the paranoia with regards to your mum, hearing things, and that you think you've received messages from God -- are a bit worrying. Probably the best thing do, just to be on the safe side, would be to go and see your doctor and explain to him/her exactly how your feeling and what your experiencing.

    Best,

    Dave_81

    Last edited by dave_81; 04-27-2005 at 04:22 AM.

     
    Old 04-27-2005, 12:00 PM   #3
    yfguitarist
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Thanks. About the messages from God thing, I may have worded that oddly. I'm a Christian and I was asking God (in prayer) for a sign to get help, and I took the voice as His answer. It's possible that the voice was a friend messing with me. I'll find out for sure tomorrow.

    I emailed this to a psychologist and he said I need to get help, but for some reason I keep convincing myself that I'm perfectly fine and that nothing is wrong, even though I know it's not true. But I can't help these thoughts that nothing is wrong. I've ruled out the placebo effect because I was feeling this way a few weeks before I read the symptoms.

    Today in class I wasn't able to concentrate on a test for the first 30 minutes. I was trying to convince myself to tell someone that something is wrong. Mainly I was staring at something and repeating the same phrase over and over in my mind: "YOU NEED HELP."

     
    Old 04-27-2005, 12:25 PM   #4
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by yfguitarist
    Thanks. About the messages from God thing, I may have worded that oddly. I'm a Christian and I was asking God (in prayer) for a sign to get help, and I took the voice as His answer. It's possible that the voice was a friend messing with me. I'll find out for sure tomorrow.

    I emailed this to a psychologist and he said I need to get help, but for some reason I keep convincing myself that I'm perfectly fine and that nothing is wrong, even though I know it's not true. But I can't help these thoughts that nothing is wrong. I've ruled out the placebo effect because I was feeling this way a few weeks before I read the symptoms.

    Today in class I wasn't able to concentrate on a test for the first 30 minutes. I was trying to convince myself to tell someone that something is wrong. Mainly I was staring at something and repeating the same phrase over and over in my mind: "YOU NEED HELP."
    It's hard reaching out for help. It took me two years before I finally decided that something was definitely wrong with me. Not having insight into how ill you really are -- i.e. thinking that your fine -- can be a sign that somthing is wrong. Even when I started hearing things I kept telling myself that it was just because I was tired or stressed or something; but I wasn't -- I was ill. It wasn't that I was delusional or anything; it was just that I was too scared to admit to myself that I was mentally ill. You might be fine. But it's surely better to get yourself checked over by a doctor, just to be on the safe side. If nothing's wrong, great; if you are ill, then at least your dealing with it, not bottling everything up. I found it terribly hard to talk to someone about what I was experiencing -- but I'm glad I did. I'd be in a real mess now if I hadn't.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

    Best,

    Dave_81

    Last edited by dave_81; 04-27-2005 at 12:41 PM.

     
    Old 04-27-2005, 01:00 PM   #5
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Thanks for replying. I just find it hard to confront my parents about it because they'll blame it on what I've been reading or watching, it'd be easier if I was on my own. I don't want to cost them money or for them to get upset.

    I will take your advice to get help eventually. I think I should wait it out and see what happens to be sure, because I don't hallucinate or have any major delusions, I think. It's not like I can't live my life right now, and if it became more serious then I would be on top of getting help (right now I'm thinking in the back of my head that I'm making excuses when I should be getting myself checked out). The good thing is that I'm self-aware and that if signs started happening I would know and be able to control myself (in a sense, since God is in control).

     
    Old 04-27-2005, 02:01 PM   #6
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    I'm also very creative. Lately: for no reason I'll be nervous, my hygiene has declined, I've been waking up a few hours earlier than normal, and I'm very irritable. Like today, as I walked out of a room someone said goodbye in another language that I don't speak, and I assumed it was racist, and I thought, "I wish I could kill that kid."

    Every time I read more and more about it things from the past few weeks have been making so much sense, I can't even describe. I think that I have pre-sz or pre-psychosis because all the things I've been feeling recently fit (although I haven't been seeing things).

     
    Old 04-27-2005, 05:46 PM   #7
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    I also have violent fantasies and I never feel remorse/guilt/shame.

     
    Old 04-28-2005, 05:25 AM   #8
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by yfguitarist
    Thanks for replying. I just find it hard to confront my parents about it because they'll blame it on what I've been reading or watching, it'd be easier if I was on my own. I don't want to cost them money or for them to get upset.

    I will take your advice to get help eventually. I think I should wait it out and see what happens to be sure, because I don't hallucinate or have any major delusions, I think. It's not like I can't live my life right now, and if it became more serious then I would be on top of getting help (right now I'm thinking in the back of my head that I'm making excuses when I should be getting myself checked out). The good thing is that I'm self-aware and that if signs started happening I would know and be able to control myself (in a sense, since God is in control).
    I know exactly what you mean about it being hard to tell your parents about this sort of thing. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about 2 months now and I still haven't told my parents about it. I just don't know how to break it to them. Like you, I sometimes think that I'd be better off on my own. How do you break it your parents that you've started hearing voices? I think I'm gonna wait untill the shrink gives me a definitive diagnosis and then tell them. I wish I had the guts to tell them now, though; all this sneaking around behind their backs is making me even more depressed/anxious -- and I think the stress is making my auditory hallucinations worse. Not good. I should really just get it over and done with and tell them what's been going on. But I'm sure I won't....

    Last edited by dave_81; 04-28-2005 at 05:29 AM.

     
    Old 04-28-2005, 05:42 PM   #9
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Do you live with your parents?

    Last night I saw clear wave-like shimmers whenever I closed my eyes. I don't know what means. I also found out for sure today that no one heard anyone say my name the other day. It sounded just as real and clear and distinct and loud as anything else.

     
    Old 04-29-2005, 02:42 PM   #10
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Last night I saw flashes of white light from the corner of my eye when I'd close my eyes. Then I started hearing my friends talk in my head. Some of it was gibberish. One of them said my name and told me to do something twice, but I don't remember what, and I didn't understand what it meant when he told me. I had to concentrate on the voices because I didn't want to lose them.

    Today I heard another voice, this time externally. It was a guy that called my name: "Andrew Dollar!" It was behind me. No one was there, and I asked my friends if they heard anyone call my name. Nope. I went to the source and asked if anyone heard my name being called. Nope.

    I've lost my appetite (I usually always am hungry) and all I want to do is sleep (well, that's not entirely true, all I want to do is sleep, go on the computer, and skateboard). I don't think it's from a lack of sleep because I've gotten this much sleep all year pretty much, and I've been at the same stress level, give or take, for almost five years, and never had anything like this happen to me. It's Friday and I don't want to hang out with my friends or ask girls out.

     
    Old 04-29-2005, 05:54 PM   #11
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by yfguitarist
    Last night I saw flashes of white light from the corner of my eye when I'd close my eyes. Then I started hearing my friends talk in my head. Some of it was gibberish. One of them said my name and told me to do something twice, but I don't remember what, and I didn't understand what it meant when he told me. I had to concentrate on the voices because I didn't want to lose them.

    Today I heard another voice, this time externally. It was a guy that called my name: "Andrew Dollar!" It was behind me. No one was there, and I asked my friends if they heard anyone call my name. Nope. I went to the source and asked if anyone heard my name being called. Nope.

    I've lost my appetite (I usually always am hungry) and all I want to do is sleep (well, that's not entirely true, all I want to do is sleep, go on the computer, and skateboard). I don't think it's from a lack of sleep because I've gotten this much sleep all year pretty much, and I've been at the same stress level, give or take, for almost five years, and never had anything like this happen to me. It's Friday and I don't want to hang out with my friends or ask girls out.
    If you're sure that you're having some auditory hallucinations you should make an appointment to see your doctor and talk it over with him/her. When I started hearing my name (and I'm not saying that we're suffering from the same thing -- I haven't even been given a diagnosis yet!) being called I knew that I'd better get some sort help. I put the whispering/mumbling I used to hear down to stress/lack of sleep: but when I started hearing my name -- well, that really freaked me out. I'm still experiencing it now

     
    Old 04-29-2005, 07:56 PM   #12
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Thanks for replying. I'm positive I'm having auditory hallucinations. I've been thinking of every excuse not to worry about it, I'm so bad about it. The first time I heard my name, I thought, well if it happens AGAIN then I'll do something about it, and it happened again, and I'm still sitting here. I'm not bothered by it, although it turns my legs to jelly. It's not frightening yet. If it keeps happening and gets to be unbearable I'll definitely mention it to my parents. I keep trying to push it all away like there's nothing wrong but I know there is.

     
    Old 04-29-2005, 09:29 PM   #13
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Does anyone else get flashes of light in their peripheral vision? I just had some more.

     
    Old 04-29-2005, 11:23 PM   #14
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Although I have dismissed the possibility of having schizophrenia, I still tour these forums out of curiousity and sheer boredom(I have a lot of spare time at school without friends). Well, while I was walking back from the water fountain today I kept thinking to myself that I didn't have schizophrenia(I've recently started doubting the possibility due to knowing my past), I saw the same thing, flashes of lights. But I don't know if they are how you say they are, because its really hard to identify something you see with words. So I'll TRY to describe it.

    I started noticing the superimposed outlines of the worm like cells in our eyes(everybody has them, just close your eye and look at the wall or something).. and after a few seconds I started seeing these blank flashes of light. But they were odd. They were rice shaped and only took up the ride side of my peripheal vision. Well, there were about 10-20 of these flashes coming in and out of my sight. I quickly looked at way, because I thought I might of seriously been having visual hallucinatinos, and then afterwards they went away. I'm sure I looked pretty strange to all the people sitting down on the side of the halls as I started to looked strangly at these things that came into my sight and just as quickly vanished. I dismissed the thought, thinking it might of been some natural response to straining the eyes in some way(even though I've been more sensitive to light, and I seem to be disappearing from the noise that surrounds me). And also, during a trip to the mall with a friend I had not seen in a while, he went somewhere and I lost him and I tried looking for him. Well, while walking alone I heard his voice call me in his familiar tone and I swinged around to greet him, but the only thing that greeted me was a group of people looking at me oddly. I don't think this was because of schizophrenia though, I think I just kind of "expected" him to just pop up on me and that expectation had triggered the sound of his voice, and I thought I heard it. So I think it was that I expected it that I heard it. ( and for some reason, in the following weeks I've tried to get him to go somewhere, and for some reason he always find some little excuse to not go, even though they are excuses that I know are very well not true)


    Oh yah, and at night sometimes, I get gibberish sounds and I've become afraid of the shadows in the dark. It's pretty weird. and Also after reading some of the stories on here, I've become scared to turn off the light due to thinking there might be an alien in my room or the boogie man is at my closet. And even though intellectually I know they don't exist, the possibility and that accompanied by foreign shadows frightens me into thinking there might be something wrong, and so I turn the light on at night. And then I get extremely tired to the point of incoherency and I just don't care anymore. Oh well, I'm sorry if this was pretty stupid considering I'm 18, an age at would many would consider me as an adult, not some 2 year old that's afraid of things in the dark. Oh well, just some more of things that might be considered in relating with you.

    Last edited by swbluto; 04-29-2005 at 11:27 PM.

     
    Old 04-30-2005, 09:01 AM   #15
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    Re: Does this sound like schizophrenia?

    Mine don't sound like the ones you experienced. The flashes of light for me were white "blinks" from both sides of me. I've been dismissing symptoms of schizophrenia, too. I can't really dismiss the voices, though, because if no one heard them then either they weren't real or my hearing sense has accelerated. Last night I had the same thing as you, where I'm never afraid of the dark because my mind has ruled out possibilities, but after reading about it the possibilities of seeing things are there so I was kinda creeped out.

     
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