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  • Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

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    Old 07-02-2007, 08:00 PM   #1
    barma
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    Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    Hi, I'm getting psychological testing done soon but I'm impatient to know the results. My doctor says I have symptoms that fall under so many different categories (depression, hypomania, anxiety, paranoia, hallucinations, disorganized/cloudy thinking, anger) that it's hard to diagnose me. Oringinally my diagnosis was Bipolar NOS with social anxiety, then borderline personality was added to it. Recently, though, there has been a lot more seeing and hearing things and I can tell my doctor is sort of starting to worry (hence the psych testing). Here are my symptoms over the past year:

    depression: inability to get out of bed, crying spells, not taking showers, extreme lack of motivation, no appetite, reclusiveness, not wanting to do anything, feeling really bad about myself, can't concentrate

    hypomania/mania?: racing thoughts, talking a thousand words a minute, no sleep with tons of energy, feeling just really good, having great ideas and designing them in a matter of seconds, dancing around to blasting music, doing impuslive things (cutting my own hair, dying my hair constantly, painting the wall... with my feet, ordering things of late night tv).

    anxiety: major anxiety around other people, don't like to talk to others, fear of talking on the phone, fear of getting in front of people, pretty much anything having to do with people.... led to not having many friends when growing up, or now actually.

    paranoia: before seroquel i did a lot of pacing, i was always afraid in the dark, i thought my dad was in the CIA, i saw ant traps and thought they were recording my thoughts, etc

    hallucinations: also before seroquel i used to see dead people aroudn my bed at night, when i was younger i used to see bees on the walls surrounding me, recently i've had a man in black shorts following me- he seems very real to me. i also hear things, like my mom talking and she won't be there, or also lately i hear a blender and i go looking for it and i can never find it

    disorganized thinking: before i was on seroquel my mind almost felt poisioned, like i couldnt control myself. i saw an old friend from this weekend and she told me i've always been smart but this is the first time shes ever seen me and felt like i've actually be listening and understanding... and its true ive never actually been able to connect with people before seroquel

    anger: i can get anger really quickly, and once one thing sets me off i stay angry... and then get snappy and snap at everyone

    ok sorry this is so long, but what do you think? I guess I'm kind of afraid of a schizoaffective diagnosis. It seems so much worse than bipolar! I mean it really doesn't matter as long as my medicine is working- my doctor just increased my seroquel from 400 mg to 600. Hopefully the man in the black shorts will stop following me!

     
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    Old 07-03-2007, 11:22 AM   #2
    justme79
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    Re: Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    either way it's just a label, it doesn't change who you are and what you suffer from

     
    Old 07-21-2007, 09:39 AM   #3
    cinemachick
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    Re: Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    Hey, are you my twin? (j/k) (I don't have the hallucinations.)

    I'm labeled schizoaffective (bipolar type), and I went through all that testing...don't be fooled, the testing is messed up.

    They told me I had anxiety/depression with avoidant and dependent personality disorders...huh?

    I think this is wonderful that we get to go through the "ring" of being labeled bipolar, borderline, schizoaffective, etc. I did an essay on that for psychology...how the disorders all seem the same. You could drive yourself crazy waiting to get a label...I wanted one just so I could condense that long list of symptoms into one!!!

     
    Old 07-21-2007, 10:47 AM   #4
    neon_dreamer
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    Re: Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    I was diagnosed as schizoaffective bipolar type last year after being hospitalized for my first manic episode (and I do experience auditory hallucinations).

    This may sound strange, but in some ways I wish I had been diagnosed with BP instead because most of the medical literature seems to center around it compared to schizoaffective. As my pdoc told me, many people with schizoaffective feel confused about their diagnosis because it's a controversial diagnosis and one some pdocs choose not to use.

    In the end, I think justme is right. What's really important is the fact that your syptoms are adequately treated so you can live as much of a normal life as possible.

    cinemachick, if you don't mind my asking, what does the testing you mentioned consist of? Did a pdoc ask you a series of questions about your symptoms? Just curious.

    neon_dreamer

    Last edited by neon_dreamer; 07-21-2007 at 10:58 AM.

     
    Old 07-21-2007, 02:28 PM   #5
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    Re: Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    Hey All, in regards to being diagnosed with something, I never took much stock in that because in the end we all just have a mental disorder. But for any type of Schiz, it's normally the paranoia and dellusions that seperate it from Bi Polar. Schiz dellusions are on a grander scale and come on hard and fast, Bi Polar is more Manic, racing thoughts, some paranoia, some dellusions, but if you suffer from and paranoia or dellusions, you have a mental disorder. It's not to say that you are semi-retarded, but when I'm in the hospital, I think of myself as retarded because of my inability to control my mind. A lot of people get caught up with the diag. and I always say just worry about how to cure it. Because it can be cured if you are willing to fight for yourself. You have to be up to the challenge and put up those fists and say you're not taking over my mind today. I honestly, am so sick of fighting, but I just really came to terms that I'mm sick, so my greatest fight will be the next time I feel myself slipping. If anyone hasn't accepted they are sick yet, you might want to work on that first, I assure you the FBI and CIA have better things to do then bug us. (unless you're into something I don't knw about!). Be well and don't stress over your diagnosis, believe me, your doctors don't. Waste your time planning your attack the next time the demons come in, so you can get them ! Fly

     
    Old 07-21-2007, 03:27 PM   #6
    neon_dreamer
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    Re: Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    Fly,

    Excellent post!

    I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I may need to take meds on a long term basis if not for the rest of my life. I've been symptom-free since February of 2006 and sometimes there's a small part of me that thinks I don't need to be on meds since I haven't had any symptoms in well over a year. I'll admit that the thought of asking my pdoc if he thinks I should continue on meds or not crossed my mind since I have an appointment with him on Friday. However, at the same time, I realize that I don't want to fight a constant battle over the pananoia and hallucinations and that the meds must be doing their job if I've been well thus far. (Of course, I'm also doing everything I can to remain healthy by eating and sleeping on a regular basis, staying in daily contact with friends and family and avoiding stress). I guess the idea of having to take meds will always be an emotional struggle for me, but perhaps over time it won't be. I'll just have to take it day by day just like we all do.

    neon_dreamer

    Last edited by neon_dreamer; 07-21-2007 at 03:29 PM.

     
    Old 07-21-2007, 05:52 PM   #7
    FlyingHi
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    Re: Are they waiting to tell me I'm schizoaffective?

    Neon, see "caught between two worlds" for response, Fly

     
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