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Can anyone tell me what this sounds like?

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Old 12-13-2010, 09:51 PM   #1
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Can anyone tell me what this sounds like?

I am currently under care of a psychiatrist but he seems to think I am not psychotic after telling him all the symptoms I have been having for the past five years, he sits there and tells me Iím just stressed and a little depressed, but most of the time I have hallucinations of things that arenít there like seeing an elephant on the side of the road or the devil standing over me stabbing me with a pitchfork. I donít sleep because every time I close my eyes I see demons and the devil, I constantly feel like I am in a battle with them and it always seems real. I feel I can predict the future and that something bad is going to happen. I hear noises like low whispers, or like someone is walking across above me but there is no one above me. I hear voices of people talking to me but no one is around me, for instance I was in my local gas station and a voice said to me something in the nature of if you buy this and eat this youíre going to have some sort of super natural powers and I made myself look stupid because I started talking to myself telling these voices to shut up. These voices tell me to do things that I wouldnít normally do like that itís okay to commit suicide in which I have attempted a few times or that itís okay to hurt people. Quite often I feel like I am out of control like short fused, it donít take much to irritate me or make me flip out. Most of the time my mind feels like it is having a conversation with itself and most of the time I canít interpret what its talking about, like itís my thoughts speaking out but im not even thinking these thoughts. I always feel like someone is controlling my thoughts or mind or is out to get me, I get very paranoid and I canít tolerate society, I think the world is against me and that everyone hates me and wants to ruin my life or murder me. I have tactile feelings of things that arenít real, a lot of the time it feels like there is something crawling under my skin but I donít know if that is possible. I can smell things cooking even when no one is cooking anything. I have delusions of believing that shows are about me or that itís trying to get something across to me. I believe that my body has some type of terrible illness or that there is something inside passing through it. My thoughts are always disorganized one minute they are there and the next I am thinking something else; I talk fast and ramble and make up words to replace another. I have a lack of emotion I donít enjoy activities or seeing friends, my energy is low I sit around and do nothing because I have no interest in life or any motivation to do anything. I can stare off in one direction for several minutes or hours without any facial expressions. Most of the time I donít like to socialize with people I would rather be alone. My thinking is never organized and it sometimes feels like I am in slow motion. I have difficulty understanding or concentrating on things that I should be doing. My memory falls short of remembering things. I could be told something and itís remembered for a minute then itís gone. I donít know how to express how I feel about thoughts, feelings or how I behave. I feel like I am in some kind of world that donít exist or that something is coming for me or watching everything I do.

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