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JMan73 01-01-2011 02:27 PM

recovery is really possible?
This is still a terrifying experience to me. Every thought I have causes people in my environment (and sometimes things on the television) to comment. Always negative and/or derogatory. It seems like I am not even supposed to think at all. Every thought brings about a "shut your mouth" or "cool it" or "shut up" or "quit". And what's worse is that no one will admit that they are reading me and responding at all. When questioned about it every one denys that they are doing it. It seems like a terrifying cosmic joke.......or a big riddle I'm supposed to decipher. What's worse is that since this has been happening I find it hard not to think things I don't really mean, and never would mean. Things that are perverted, or violent, or racist or just mean. I struggle to keep a clear-almost-blank mind to keep from being 'convicted' of these thoughts that aren't like me at all!!! 'IT-THEM' treats any mis-thinking just as if I really meant it. I can't even go out in public anymore, or sit in a waiting's even hard to be in a total SAFE place like with my parents, as I even come up with mis-thoughts against them. They respond (mentally) "how could you?!?"........"you've got some nerve, talking like that"......"how DARE you".....etc.
I'd like to know if recovery is really possible......can we get to some point where it is obvious that this is all Hallucinated and definitely NOT happening???
I find it hard to believe that I am imagining all these co-incidenses......but I pray that that's the case! I just wish I could come to some final understanding that it is really happening or I can ignore 'IT-THEM' as hallucinations, or find some way to deal with this new way of the world........
but this is no way to live!!! Who wants a life where you HAVE to keep a Blank zombie mind, and everyone out in public is accusing you of being all sorts of near-criminal??? I've always stood up for good, as best I can.
Anyhow it helps to know that I'm not alone. Thank you all for reading, relating, responding.
Blessings and good luck

cbscz 01-02-2011 09:42 AM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
JMan73 sounds like you have gone through a lot of the same crap that I have been dealing with over the past decade. I'm still not sure what's real or not in all this, but I have at least made some realizations.

One important realization for me is that people don't tend to hold grudges against you for thinking something strange even though they may seem to be negative about it right then. If you're in a positive mood one day, it doesn't matter too much what you were like the day before.

I also felt for a long time like the world was expecting me to be some kind of braindead zombie, but I don't think that's the case anymore. These days I just try to keep a clear head and stay focused on the external world when I'm among people, socializing or at work. And be introspective only when I'm by myself.

As for what it is actually happening, my main theory (if it is real) is that human minds / consciousness are entangled on some basic level in kind of the same way that quantum entanglement works.
Also, Carl Jung said that all human beings have psychic abilities which most of us repress, called the Shadow. Maybe some people, like us, are unable to control their "shadow" abilities for some reason.
Or maybe it's all just delusions and hallucinations. I've grown such a thick skin for it that it pretty much doesn't bother me anymore and I just try to ignore it and move on whenever it happens.

Anyway, stay strong, and good luck in dealing with your problems!

JMan73 01-02-2011 01:29 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
Yeah, It is just plain frightening to me for some reason. I have always been "hippy-ish" - seeking truth and enlightenment. In fact many of the things that terrify me now have been things I believed all along. (the 'group mind' - mother station, we are all closely linked and inter-connected etc.....). However, I recently seemed to open pandora's box so-to-speak.....where now these are not theories and hypothesis, but seeming to be the new 'reality'. I have not been holding up so well to the starkness of this now that it seems to be the way it actually is. I'm like a panick-stricken deer in headlights. I was much more comfortable with the illusion of privacy, and having my own mind- and now I wish with all my heart that I could go back, or to realize that this is still just residual hallucination.
When all thought and actions are already KNOWN......there is no longer any reason to do anything, persue anything, talk about anything......there is no more fun or mystery and I wonder what the point of living is anymore.
It still freaks me out when: My mother drops ice on the floor from the freezer, and the TV says "iced it".......I pick up my guitar to practice and the TV says "try the guitar"......I walk through wal-mart and a stranger says "whattup, Jason"......I am at a bar and I think about toasting the cat next to me out of friendship, and the dude LIFTS HIS MUG TO ME!......I am in the doctors office and another guy in there says out of the blue, "yeah, he smokes american spirits" (which I do)......It just terrifies me......this stuff happens all day and night. I wish I could go back to enjoying life the way I used to. I wish I could have my mind back......I can't even masterbate anymore, as I have the creepy feeling like everyone is watching me, or like I'm on the big stage 24-7.......there is no dressing room privacy. 100% transparency. All is already known. Really sucks. This is not freedom. This is not peace.
Thanks for sharin.....thanks for carin

hathada 01-02-2011 07:41 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
I know what you're going through. I can help you. All you have to do is try one thing. You'll see that it quiets everything down. Also knowing the causes of the thought broadcasting will help. However, the thing I want you to try is heart meditation. If you're able to visualize your heart, and more or less any location within it, you might be able to focus on it. This alone can stop the thought broadcasting from happening. However, I think you should know what exactly is going on when you hear your own thoughts, and the mental responses of others.

These really aren't your thoughts. And you're probably all ready aware of that in the back of your head. You know, before you got ill, that you didn't hear your thoughts the way you do now. You might have had a jumble of stuff going on inside your head, but none of this perverted stuff, that so conveniently happens to **** the people around you off so much, that you're basically scared for your life at some points.

I know. I've had the voices of many people in my head as well. Some get very hostile. Very few are able to deal with mental telepathy. Everyone in general would rather be left alone. So, it makes sense that people are saying, "shut the ef up" and so on.

The whole thing is basically a trick, let's call it. And it works like this. A little thought impulse is created in your heart. Believe me, you don't create that impulse. Something else does. A good way of testing it is trying to create the impulse your self. You felt it a million times by now. You get the impulse and then you hear it translated, and then the person it's directed at starts talking to you. You don't want to have anything to do with them, and it basically just starts to get hostile. There's nothing pleasant about it.

So, when you get that impulse and you hear yourself commenting, ignore it for a moment and try to create the feeling of the impulse yourself. You'll find that you can't. Something might tell you it's spontaneous. It isn't. There's something very intelligent at work here.

Another test, is to create the sound of your own comments on your own. Just like the impulse in your heart, you won't be able to create the audible sound of your own self making the comment. The quality of the sound just won't be there. This should show you that you're not the one creating either the impulses or the sounds of the comments.

Why do we believe they're our own thoughts? We don't have much of a choice. The feeling of the thought comes from within us, and the sounds of our own voices is convincing enough to make it real. On top of all this, there's additional communication from other people. So, this little trick is convincing.

Here's the point. I won't say who or what is creating the thought-impulse in the heart, but I will definitively say that the creation of the thought happens in the heart. Who do you talk to? I've talked to a lot of people. People I know, people I don't know, people who are supposed to be dead, fictional characters, and even my self at the age of 35, which back then was supposed to be me. Schizophrenia is far too creative to be a simple disorganization of the mind.

You're fine. Everyone hears voices, whether they realize it or not, and whether they openly tell people or not. Some are just WAY worse off then others, and the whole thing becomes too much to bear. That's when the doctors come in.

But here's my recommendation for you. The next time you get the thought-impulse...that little spark which happens instantly before you hear yourself make a comment...if you're able to focus your attention on your heart, it will stop. Try to predict the frequency of the thought-broadcasting. I personally call this thought-insertion, but the terminology is confusing. Thought insertion mainly means a person feels that thoughts are being put into their head. And thought broadcasting mainly means that people are sure other people are hearing their thoughts. But it's the same thing, because something or someone or some reaction is putting the thought inside your head, and the result is that it gets broadcast to other people (supposedly).

What you should do is try to predict the frequency of when your comments come up. A person your not comfortable walks by and your just sure something is going to pop up in your head. DRILL your mind on your heart. PUT IT THERE! And don't leave it. PERSIST WITH IT! If the thoughts still get through, keep doing it. That little impulse starts from your heart, and then very quickly becomes words in your head. So if you penetrate your heart with the force of your will power, you will see that the little ******* behind you, on your shoulder who's putting these thoughts into you, won't be able to.

THAT is the amount of control you have over this illness. YOU can stop the impulses from happening in your heart. Once you've set your will power on your heart, you will be able to see the difference between what you really think and what the little ******* wants you to think. And if you're anything like me, you don't think all that much or very often. Maybe you used to think a lot when you were a kid, but if you're anything like me, you're mind's pretty blank most of the time. Doesn't mean anyone's stupid because of it.

Point is: When you KNOW that impulse isn't yours, the whole problem of people mentally replying to your comments will basically disappear.

First thing I started hearing when I finally realized this after so many months locked up in a heavy duty mental institution was, "Damn! I can't get him anymore." And then after that, I stuck my will power onto my heart as often and as much as I could. The offensive thoughts, those one's you're very able to hear in your head, but couldn't explain to anyone in words because they're just too abstract...all of those, I shot down. I shot the whole thing down one attempt at a time. And every time I shot down his attempt to make a noise, instead I heard him say, "Damn!" or "Sh*t!" ....cause he's funny that way. At least the guy gives you a chance. Otherwise, yes the thought-broadcast experience will drive a person to want death. On a locked ward, my only option was to bash my skull against the walls. I couldn't bring my self to do it, so I just sat on one of the wards, listening all day.

But then, I tell you truthfully, I focused all of my attention on my heart and I was able to stop the thoughts before they happened. It takes a little bit of detective work and some persistent focus, but anyone suffering from thought-broadcasting can make it stop.

After a while, realizing "Damn! I can't get him", I didn't even have to focus on my heart chakra. It was basically a case of the guy giving up, because he knew that there wasn't any fun to be had in it.

But people can hear our thoughts and we can hear theirs. It's complicated.

JMan73 01-05-2011 03:00 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
I keep telling myself that I'm hallucinating all these mental voices......some of them are vocalized out loud......people commenting on my nobody has anything else to think about themselves. The world has become a very scary and very unfriendly place......The psychiatrist tells me that my mind is making this stuff up......but it is very hard to believe. He says he won't perscribe anything to help me with my high anxiety and fear of social activities and interaction, until he gets ahold of the 'psychosis' .......I really need a quick anti-anxiety aid, for when I'm having a bad episode......(like right now)............I'm tired of the telephone, I'm sure they just want to break me. To grind me down into nothing. I'm starting to be afraid of people that I trust and's like I don't want to think anything that would hurt them or be against them, but occasionally It seems like I don't even have control of my thoughts.
I try to keep telling myself it's hallucinations, but mostly it is starting to seem to real to deny...........I'm not Jerry Garcia..........I'm not Jesus or the saviour..............I need them to leave me alone, but they won't. I just keep telling myself it's not really what's going on......that my mind is malfuntioning......but it's hard to deny what I perceive.

I hope you all do better at this than I do.

hathada 01-06-2011 01:55 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
You sound like you're in the same place I was about four years ago. But what makes you think you're either Jerry Garcia, or Jesus? Because it sounds like you're talking to them mentally, but I don't see why you would think you are these people? What is it about what they say that makes you believe you are one or all of these people?

The family and friends thing is hard. When you say that they comment out loud, do you mean they really verbally speak out loud, or do you mean that you hear them in your mind?

I had the same fears as you. Personally, I felt extremely horrible about having psychic contact with my nieces. This idea turned out to be false. My nieces were not hearing my voice. However, I thought I was ruining their young lives, and my brother was (so I thought) at a point where he was ready to kill me. His wife was also at the end of her rope, with all the supposed telepathy. Going to sleep at night, for me at that time, was horrible. I felt like I was keeping people awake. I felt like I was ruining everyone's lives. I wasn't. It was a deception. Not a delusion, or a hallucination, but a really complex deception.

I think you might benefit from looking over shoulder. And I mean that, mentally. Use your inner eye to see who's standing over your shoulder. Listen for any sounds you might hear. If you're not sure what your inner eye is, or how to use it, think about the way you're experiencing life right now.

I'm assuming that when you interact with people in your mind, you're also getting visual impressions in your mind about where they are and what they're doing. This sort of "telepathic remote viewing" is the key idea of what I mean by, "inner eye". If you can use it, try to look over your shoulder. If something happens, let me know. I can tell you what it means.

Also, do you find that as this mental conversation goes on around you, you feel like you're in a huge collection of people who communicate telepathically with each other? If this is the case, do you get the feeling from the other people that they get along just fine in this world, but you're sort of ruining it for everyone?

If that's true, don't get caught up in it. Don't let it drive you nuts. There's something behind all of this. You should try asking someone close to you if they've been hearing your voice. Most probably, they're gonna say, "no".

Do you also find that when you're first in connection with someone you know, perhaps someone close to you, that it sounds a bit like, "...okay, ha. thanks. I'll talk to you later. Oh, "your name here"!. How's it going?" if they've just been having a great time with another person and now they're going to talk to you?

Anyhow. This scenario I just talked about, is the way I experienced my hallucinations. It was a world where I thought everyone was in constant telepathic communication. It turns out to be a huge deception. I hope you get a chance to unravel the truth. Try looking over your shoulder. It might be a start to how you find some mental peace. The heart concentration technique is also critical.


JMan73 01-06-2011 03:20 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
I am always being 'told' that's who I am. One day a little girl (about 9 or 10 yrs old) said with her mouth as I was passing...."I know everybody, and you're Garcia" she was the voice of the ALL in that moment or something. As I'd cruise through a park near where I lived in the SF Bay Area, people would comment (out loud, but not within eye people in another area of the park) "oh, Garcia, the original...". At the high sierra music fest last year, I had been hearing that stuff ALOT from people, and I guess I was sort of hamming it up......and lots of different people, passing in the crowd would say...."you don't have to immitate yourself.....", or "stop immitating yourself...". At a Grateful Dead (now furthur) show last year, I heard voices in the background saying "if we knew you were gonna be here, we would've billed the show differently...."....and "you don't know what it MEANS to us that you're here...."...... and general background voices all around me all the time say " people would pay a thousand dollars a ticket to see you play again"... and "rock and roll hasn't been the same without you." At the store recently, someone commented "what's HE still doing here?"
And people rather frequently say in passing, "Hi Jerry" At a festival a few years ago, two gypsy-hippies were standing in front of the booth I was working at staring at me for a while. After a time they came to the person I was working for and said (I overheard them) "that's Garcia......did you know that's Garcia? I'd recognize him anywhere....." and they hung around for the rest of the fest......I even ended up giving them a ride into town afterwards.

Anyhow, I don't see how it's possible, and I may have similar mannerisms/demeanor/ voice-type or whatever, but I still can't believe what they are all telling me. This is not exactly something I desire.......and It makes it seem like there is something I'm supposed to do, but I don't know what. I do have 1/2 of my middle finger missing, like Garcia, but it takes alot more than that coincidence. Maybe I just remind people of him because of that. I am thinking that it's all hallucination. Or at the most, [I]maybe I'm a medium[/I] and [I][B]he[/B][/I] is over my shoulder........I just don't know. I've always been a fan.....but BE HIM, like they say, I don't think even I am delusional enough to really believe that.
That's enough of that Garcia Stuff.......seems like the whole world is telling me this......
As far as that other saviour stuff.....I get terrifying 'mental messages' that tell me I am supposed to be a saviour, and [I]look[/I] at me. (like I should be ashamed) They say that every time I even THINK a phrase like "armageddon" I bring it one step closer to happenning. I have spent many hours in a panic trying with all my mind not to think that and/or things like that........
I think this is just terror tactics, trying to get me to be paralyzed with fear.....but I can't imagine why "they'd" want to put me through this. It's a terrifying prospect, and I try sooooo hard to keep my mind clear of this stuff 'JUST IN CASE' they are telling the truth.
I don't usually get mental images....just conversation. I believe it to be specific people I know because I recognize the voice. I recognize them. My father is very obvious, and in there alot. Seems like I can summon up almost anybody on the mental 'telephone' and be in contact with them. Old friend across the country, famous people, etc......
the conversations are usually like me just thinking their names, or of their faces and they seem to say "......hello......what's up..... -or- what do you want?" I usually think something rude or insulting.......that I don't mean, and they'll 'hang up'. I hear a faint 'click' Either that, or I don't really have much to say at all, and we sort of go.....OKAY......what now.........(like I'm wasting their time) -click-
It seems to me like I am trying so hard NOT TO think something offensive, that I THINK SOMETHING OFFENSIVE. Like I am so scared to.......that I do.
whether I mean it or not.
Oh well. Thanks for reading/responding. I'll see about trying some of your techniques........see if I can do that.

hathada 01-06-2011 08:11 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
Hey. No problem. I'm happy to listen. I can't say I've personally heard the voices outside my head, except for once. So I can't imagine what you might be going through. I must be rough though.

The heart meditation technique might help for those [I]inner[/I] voices, though. I know it did for me. I definitely stick by the theory that every rude comment we (voice-hearers) make when we're in contact with someone (telepathically) is not ultimately caused by our selves. Like I said, I believe its an impulse from the heart. And being so, it can be shot down simply by putting one's focus there, whenever you anticipate the thought will spring up.

But that might open a whole can of worms in your case, for all I know. I don't exactly know what it's like to hear voices outside my head, like I said before. It might complicate things even more. I know this is often the case. I think all of us going through these experiences have to find our own ways out. But there are some techniques that I believe should, theoretically, work for everyone. Reading up on chakras is a good idea for anyone with the illness.

It sounds though like perhaps you remind people of Jerry Garcia. And being from the San Fransisco area, the occasional comment from a random stranger might make sense. But, in my experience its usually the ideas we've been brought up on and the culture we're used to that fuel the nature of our delusions. So, it seems to me like the occasional real comment from a stranger, turns, or could turn, into a more complicated set of auditory hallucinations for you to deal with. It's a crazy maze, to make a long story short.

My self for instance, I spent a lot of my twenties reading into Buddhism. Then when I started hearing voices, I came across the very man himself...although two thousand years later he, was a pretty decomposed spirit -still roaming the earth. But his powers were unimaginable, and that whole period of time, while I was talking to him was just amazing. I talked to Jesus too, of course. But whenever I talked to Jesus and the Buddha felt like stepping in, he'd say, "Get out of here, you little squirt". And Jesus was pretty quick to leave.

But me and the Buddha and the spirit of Kurt Cobain had some good times. The three of us formed, what I still think, is the basic spiritual trinity of human personality types. I was a Hathada, Buddha was a Gautama, and Kurt was a Molingna. Of all the Hathada's in the world, Jesus accomplished the most. But of all the Gautama's in the world, the Buddha pushed the understanding of everything to its outer limits. Molingna's have always been powerful men as well. But very often, their quite sensitive and maybe overly empathetic to the feelings of others. I'm not sure who the most famous Molingna is. The names are written on our hearts, but its not often that our parents have the insights to give us these names at birth. Olagatha, Pondera, Harkona, Baraka, Serienna; it's a part of being human to have these distinctive names that end in "A"s.

Any way, going through those times with the guy, I felt and experienced things that I can't describe. Really intense spiritual feelings. Anyhow. I don't think I ever would have gone through what I did, in the way I did, without my prior knowledge of Buddhist literature. I appreciate all the things I learned though. And, ultimately, my own delusions provided me with the key to turning them off. And this came in the form of meditation on the four key systems of the body; the nervous, circulatory, muscular, and skeletal.

So, best of luck to you, my friend. I hope you can convince your doctor to prescribe you an anti-anxiety medication. They're really the only ones that help, in my opinion. And the link between those benzo-diazopines and the effect they have on the dopaminergic pathways in the heart, come as no surprise to me.

We all basically know that the anti-psychotics out there target dopaminergic pathways in the frontal cortex. And it's no wonder that the frontal cortex is exactly where the brow chakra, which facilitates psychic communication, exists.

So, again, I'm not surprised that the drugs don't often work, when the whole time they're basically dulling our ability to function on that level. They work for some people, I suppose, by simply calming the whole "indigo" energy patterns of that area.

But, seriously, there's as much dopamine in the heart as there is in certain parts of the brain. The theory is that the delusions are a schizophrenic's messed up way of getting that reward protein, we all know today as dopamine. And though scientists are aware that dopamine systems run in the heart, they fail to see that emotional damage to the heart can be one man's road to ruin.

So when I watch my clonazopine very effectively calming and silencing the voices in my "head", it's no wonder to me, as the effect of the drug is on the heart, and the heart is the very [I]core[/I] of our emotions and the playing field for all conception, creativity, and realness. Learning to treat our hearts with attention, creates a new balance within the body, -one in which the nasty comments of a crazy, homicidal lunatic (not you or me, but that Other) isnt necessary to provide a person with some sense of belonging. Even if belonging means fearing for your life, to the point where all you want is to take that life...If that makes any sense...

-take care

cbscz 01-07-2011 02:28 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
Hey again JMan, I was the first one to reply to you in this thread. Kind of freaky that I would stumble unto this forum. Anyway, hope you're pulling through. I can definitely relate to a lot of what you describe in what I've experienced. The Garcia thing sounds really freaky, but let me be at least one voice in the world to tell you that you are really NOT him! Maybe you remind people of him like hathada pointed out (and if people are going to mistake you for someone, I guess you're lucky it's someone awesome like Garcia;) ).

But seriously, if you feel like it's all becoming too much to handle then I really suggest going to see a pdoc and getting some anti psychotic meds, even if only for a short while. Both times when I was at my worst I had to do this, and while it's not some magic fix to everything the meds do slow your brain down so it becomes more manageable. I don't like being on them for long but they have helped me in the past. Also make sure you get enough sleep, but not too much (7-8 hours per night works best for me), and exercise has also helped me.

My last really serious episode was this past summer, when I was at a music festival and hadn't slept for days and became convinced that there was a telepathic bond between all the participants at the festival which my brain was distorting. I also heard voices both inside and outside my head, and was convinced that all the festival guards were after me etc. Luckily the worst of it subsided as soon as I got to a hospital and got some meds and some sleep.

JMan73 01-07-2011 06:13 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
Yeah, CB.....was a festival hoppin' tripper for a good number of years, and I always came back from my trips, and usually felt pretty awesome, (once I caught up on sleep!) At a Dead (Further) show last year, I guess I had one dose over the line....opened up 'pandoras box' and have been in torment and running scared ever since. I must say (unfortunately) my trippin and token days have to be over.
Now it feels like I (my mind) is naked and exposed....I suffer from some heavy psychosis, and just prayin to make it through each day. Hopin to someday get past this and be able to enjoy life again.

JMan73 01-08-2011 11:08 AM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
That is pretty cool that you happened upon this site @ the same time I did.....and we're dealing with very similar issues. This place is full of good, helpful information and coping strategies.
I have been so desperate to find some kind of someone to talk about this stuff many people just can't relate.......they just don't know what you're talking about, even if they say they understand, unless they've had it, how can they possibly know what it's like?
Anyhow, i'm so grateful for this and a couple of other forums i've found.....and thankful to all of you that participate, it does help alot....(before I thought I was the only one for a while)- that was REALLY SCARY.
We're in this thing together......thanks for sharin and carin

cbscz 01-09-2011 10:30 AM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
That is pretty cool that you happened upon this site @ the same time I did.....and we're dealing with very similar issues. This place is full of good, helpful information and coping strategies.
I have been so desperate to find some kind of someone to talk about this stuff many people just can't relate.......they just don't know what you're talking about, even if they say they understand, unless they've had it, how can they possibly know what it's like?
Anyhow, i'm so grateful for this and a couple of other forums i've found.....and thankful to all of you that participate, it does help alot....(before I thought I was the only one for a while)- that was REALLY SCARY.
We're in this thing together......thanks for sharin and carin[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, it's great that we can find others on the net to relate to. I didn't even know that Thought Broadcasting was a psychiatric term the first couple of years that I suffered from it, but that's almost a decade ago now. And anyone I tried to talk to about it just didn't understand. I really wish I had known forums like these existed back then, because like you I felt like I was the only one in the world for a long time.

Anyway, these days I'm coping pretty well, and I'm able to function more or less normally in society again, with a job I enjoy and good relationships with my friends. If you asked me 5 years ago I wouldn't have thought that to be even possible. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't give up on yourself! It is possible to recover from psychosis, but it probably means making some changes in your life. I don't know what those changes are for you, but the fact that you've given up weed and drugs is probably a good first step. That was probably the most important one for me as well.

JMan73 01-09-2011 05:51 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
well brotha, it sure is encouraging to hear about your successful recovery!!!
I suppose that after a while, it becomes more or less obvious that these 'symptoms' are in fact all in my head and basically hallucinations?
That would make it easier to dismiss......still seems pretty real unfortunately.......but good to hear it is possible to live a normal life again.....someday, maybe.
Nice talkin......thanks for your words, bro.....
hopin to make it through,

cbscz 01-10-2011 01:16 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
[QUOTE=JMan73;4657848]well brotha, it sure is encouraging to hear about your successful recovery!!!
I suppose that after a while, it becomes more or less obvious that these 'symptoms' are in fact all in my head and basically hallucinations?
That would make it easier to dismiss......still seems pretty real unfortunately.......but good to hear it is possible to live a normal life again.....someday, maybe.
Nice talkin......thanks for your words, bro.....
hopin to make it through,

Like I said at first, I'm still not 100% sure what's real or not about what I went through with TB. So much of what I remember would have to be false memories that I don't even want to think about it too much. What I am fairly sure of, is that no one is hearing my thoughts anymore these days. And it's long since I last heard any voices or felt like I "communicated" with anyone. And I'm 100% sure that those parts of my psychosis were hallucinations. Mentally I just feel a lot more calm and focused, and those worries are like trivial non-issues most of the time. But I do still count my blessings every day I wake up with a clear head.

For me, getting better was more about just learning to keep a cool head and trying my best not to worry about it, than it was about convincing myself it wasn't real. That realization just kind of falls into place by itself as you get better. Psychosis is a chemical imbalance of the brain, a physical illness, with a complex healing process. It's really not something you can just reason yourself out of on a whim.

pecan90334 01-23-2011 09:34 PM

Re: Thought Broadcasting
Are these not just simply prolonged withdrawal symptoms that we have just never been told about??? In my case, I believe they are. I used to use weed, caffeine, nicotine, or sex heavily all day anytime I had stress. My instantaneous reflexes have been uncontrollable because I never had to experience certain stresses at all. Yes, I have a mental disorder, but the longer I simply stay clean and endure this nonsense it keeps getting easier and easier. So I guess my only admonition is just stay from whatever stress coping mechanism and allow your body to adjust so it isn't so hyper sensitive.

I experienced this thought broadcasting relentlessly and painfully for about 2 solid years after quitting an all day everyday weed habit. And I can't believe that alot of this has just gone away the longer I simply stayed absolutely clean. I had to start believing in life. So, 2 years from today, I would be surprised if you experienced such severity of symptoms if your body was able to readjust on its own. It sucks, but I believe its all about patience and endurance and fearlessly experiencing what has to be experienced and relief will be inevitable. You don't know when, but endure to the end and it will be found.

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