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Pikachu915 12-12-2011 10:58 PM

I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
I have no doubt that I am schixophrenic. I hallucinate often and I am constantly EXTREMELY paranoid.

I ran away for several hours last month because of the voices in my head. I wanted to get away from them and the people I was seeing, but it was unsuccessful. My parents do not see anything wrong, and when I mentioned the hallucinations, they called me insane and insulted me.

I don't know what to do. I am also extremely depressed and constantly thinking about suicide (though not suicidal). What should I do?

DuctTapedGoat 12-21-2011 07:17 PM

Re: I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
[QUOTE=Pikachu915;4894128]I have no doubt that I am schixophrenic. I hallucinate often and I am constantly EXTREMELY paranoid.

I ran away for several hours last month because of the voices in my head. I wanted to get away from them and the people I was seeing, but it was unsuccessful. My parents do not see anything wrong, and when I mentioned the hallucinations, they called me insane and insulted me.

I don't know what to do. I am also extremely depressed and constantly thinking about suicide (though not suicidal). What should I do?

I am 13 years old, by the way.[/QUOTE]

I'm saddened to hear that! I went through a similar situation when I was 14.

I was going through some legal troubles, and the judge at the time required me to get a psychiatric evaluation. I was told that I had Bipolar and Schizophrenic Tendencies. Nothing was done about it until I was 21 years old, homeless, and on street drugs 24/7.

I too ran away multiple times, once for as long as two weeks at the age of 15. It is not easy when you don't have family support. I was told that I had an "overactive imagination", when in fact I was terrified due to seeing aliens outside my bedroom window, items glowing in my bedroom in pitch darkness, hearing voices in my head and outside my head, and a genuine constant feeling of fear for no reason.

I know it may be hard, but NEVER lose hope. As long as you have the resolve to reach out for help, there will always be someone somewhere willing to help you as best as possible.

Now, this is where I had trouble when I was around your age dealing with very similar symptoms and situations. Legally, a psychiatrist cannot diagnose a minor with Schizophrenia, as it is a diagnosis that stays with you for life on your medical chart, even if your symptoms do not last your entire lifetime. This makes it difficult to get treatment and diagnoses as a minor, and made it hard for me to even want to reach out. But don't lose hope!

Every public school has a counselor on staff. Next time you go to school, talk to the office and ask to speak with the counselor as soon as possible. Explain your symptoms in detail to the counselor, explain there is no family support, and that in fact they are holding you back from getting support. That would be the best advice that I can give to you.

As well - getting prescription glasses helps immensely with visual hallucinations for myself personally, more so when I was younger than today unfortunately. See about getting an eye exam! Your school might be able to help you get an eye test as well. I'm not saying you don't have symptoms and that it's just your eyes that are bad. But, if your eyes are bad and you have mental health issues at the same time with neither being treated, it will make things tolerable if it does prove to be a problem there.

For the suicidal thoughts/depression, at your age the best advice I can give you is to play a lot of video games. Play everything you can get your hands on and just get out of your head for a while. RPGs are nice, low stimulus games that take hours and hours and hours to beat, so they help chill the mind out a lot. As well, reading books are good if you can quiet your mind enough to be able to. Experiment with different genres and authors until you find what quiets your mind the most.

So, in short -

School Counselor ASAP! (it's free and you don't need parent permission)
School Library (books are great when you find what quiets your mind, and they're free)
Video Games (they're great for just distracting yourself, and your parents will see it as "normal" if you ask them for video games)

Pikachu915 12-26-2011 12:25 AM

Re: I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
It means so much to me that you took your time to write out such an helpful and kind response like that. Thank you so much!

I can understand how the alien-related hallucinations can be perceived as simply an overactive imagination. Up until I was around nine or ten years old, I was fully convinced that my bedroom was haunted. I would see this children—ghostly children—and I would have full conversations with them. I remember mentioning them to my parents and a friend. My parents told me there are no such things as ghosts, meanwhile my friend showed me scary ghost videos on the Internet. When I was around seven years old one day, at her house, I saw a "ghost" right in front of face, but she did not see it. I thought I had super powers then, but by the time I was ten I stopped believing in ghosts and realizing that nobody else saw these children, and none of them heard them either. That I didn't have any super powers.
My parents thought my imagination was just immense (I was afraid of ghosts... I still am, I may not sleep tonight with the thought of them, haha) but its not like I would only see the "ghosts". I too saw objects in puitch darkness, I would hear children laughing but never see them. I would hear those horrible little voices inside my head that told me to do stupid things.

I don't see those "ghosts" anymore. I more-often hear voices, see people with weapons, people who aren't actually there, and feel as if I'm going through entire events even though I'm not. I'm likely to recognize a hallucination for what it is in about an hour more or less.

If you cannot diagnose a minor with schizophrenia, how could they receive treatment? I don't understand.

I go to a catholic school, not a public school. My school does not have a counselor or anyone I could even talk with. I do wear prescription glasses, and now that I think of it, i don't hallucinate as often with them on. I love video games, I got some for Christmas today. Happy holidays! I'm not a good reader. There seems to be nothing I can do to keep my mind busy. I don't mind the hallucinations as much as I mind the paranoia, my paranoia prevents me from sleeping at night and I'm doing poorly with my schoolwork because of it.

How is your schizophrenia handled?

DuctTapedGoat 12-26-2011 08:30 PM

Re: I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
Generally, when I'm hallucinating I see beautiful women. It doesn't take me very long to realize that my house is realistically not populated with beautiful women. Myself personally, I believe that it is somehow connected to a fear of meeting a beautiful woman and not being able to vocally compliment her. The fear that I would go silent as though from stage fright, and that I would just be seen as a creepy guy thinking and breathing on a microphone.

Because of this, when I am coping with this and other fears, writing helps. Be it poems, prose, lyrics to a song, guitar tablature, and also drawing as well, though I am prone to writing more than anything.

As far as the minor diagnostic question, that does make it difficult. What I myself did was self diagnose until I turned 18 and was able to move out of the house and pursue treatment without my family. As the diagnosis of schizophrenia is attached to your medical records for your entire life, I think that psychiatric doctors would rather see a person go through puberty first to make sure that it isn't a misdiagnosis based on hormone development and changes. I of course can't be sure, as I'm not a physician, I am just a sufferer of the disease.

You mentioned about glasses that it helps - I'm glad. Even though many people have the same diagnosis, the same things that help some don't help others, so that is actually very cool that it helps you. When I was 20 or so I purchased prescription lenses with different colored tints such as red, blue, grey, etc to see how it affected my hallucinations, and the results were amazing to see how simply changing the color of your environment made more a difference in treating my symptoms than actual medication.

Schizophrenia is an interesting disease, as it's actually a very broad term. There are many symptoms included in a schizophrenic diagnosis, and many of those symptoms could be a result of another mental health disorder/disease. Though it has been tried to be scientifically located in the human mind, it has not been located, identified or cured. The medical practice is really in it's infancy, the human mind is one of the top two things that the humans as a species know nothing about (The second thing is electricity, which is funny in that the brain fires electrical impulses). Medical practice is just that - practice for physicians, and no more is true than in mental health issues. I know it's not much of an answer, but it is a better answer than I was able to receive at your age. :)

The paranoia is very difficult to deal with. Myself, I don't feel it as "paranoia" in the sense of people in suits monitoring me and watching me live, or any one of the many other common conceptions there are associated with the term paranoia. For myself, it is just a very broad sense of fear that randomly sets in and causes myself to want to do nothing but run. When that happens, I just run until I feel safe again.

That's not good that your schoolwork is suffering! I had difficulties as well, generally not in testing while in school (I aced tests all through school), my problem was in doing the homework when I got home from school, which led to me just getting my GED instead of my High School Diploma. If it's the same problem as my own, is it possible to ask teachers how to allow you to do all of your work at school?

I do hate to bring up the possibilites of other disorders, but have you considered that you might be dyslexic and/or even epileptic? Not that you can't read, but that letters, words, and numbers might be affected by your hallucinations. I definitely know that my hallucinations are triggered by visual patterns, such as paint texture on walls, checkerboard patterns, chainlink fence etc. etc, it would stand to reason that it could be possible! That is a treatable diagnosis, and one that would not be damaging to your medical records for the rest of your life. As well, it is something that can be treated for in minors.

Myself today, I am on Abilify, which helps a lot. My entire diagnosis is Schizo-Effective Bipolar Type, which is more the type of schizophrenia that includes depression. The first few medications I was on caused me to gain a massive amount of weight, which added to my depression, so I went on Geodon to as well manage my weight before I went to Abilify.

Most importantly though, I do try to be a good artist, a good person, and just be as socially respectful and responsible as I humanly can. You get what you put into the world, and it helps to be sure to put your self esteem first. When you're feeling good and happy, it shows in the goodness and happiness of the people around you.

Thank you for the holiday wishes! I hope you had a good christmas and that you have an even better New Year!

Pikachu915 01-02-2012 12:09 AM

Re: I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
I also have stage fright around beautiful women. But I don't hallucinate about it, though I do hallucinate about a few of my greatest fears. Earlier today, I saw another ghostly woman. She was on my steps. It was one of my weirdest hallucinations because she was literally in black and white like a picture. Another weird thing about her is that she had black wings and was whispering to me but I couldn't hear what she was saying. She also had tears in her eyes. I usually don't hallucinate much around other people, and I was in front of my brother, sister, and mother. My brother stared at the steps for a minute to try to understand what I was looking at.

I am usually at a loss for words. I cannot express myself. I'm a horrible writer and artist, so I don't do either. I'm learning how to play guitar.

I've been hallucinating since I was three. Do you think that would still have something to do with hormones?

It sounds cool to change the color of your environment like that, and I'm happy it helped you. I have blue tinted goggles but the color only makes me feel a bit unsteady.

Thank you for the answer and honesty on that. I believe I have clinical depression or bipolar disorder or something similar, along with the schizophrenia. There is no doubt I have depression and schizophrenia. I just want it to get treated by now. If everyone else can be happy, I don't understand why I shouldn't. I need help to be happy, and probably medication too.

For me I think of the paranoia as someone watching me and going to pop out any sevond to hurt me, or when I'm "hallucinating" and am able to tell that it's fake while it is going om, and those "mini hallucinations" only last about a minute. I feel the paranoia as a sense of fear that makes me feel like I'm going to get hurt, right now, and i am defenseless. I don't have a way to resolve it. Trying tk sleep only makes it much worse.

I'm just nt good at schoolwork. It's harder for me to concentrate because of these horrible thoughts of self hatred that never go away, that are almost realistic enough for me to consider it a voice in my head. So say if I'm doing math, that voice tells me how I suck at math, how I'll do horribly, how I fail at everything, how I'm worthless and useless, etc. And even if it's something I like, Benjamin Franklin for example, it will still end up insulting me. In class I mostly just put my head down until the voice shuts up, and I squeeze my eyes real tight.
I hear that voice A LOT, everywhere, almost all day. It's the reason I can't get out of the bed in the morning and the reason I hate myself. And for the last few days, that voice has been trying to convince me to do things that would lead to an eating disorder.

I'm horrible with numbers, and I have to keep retesting sentences for me to understand them. I don't think that is dyslexia. I'm not too sure what being epileptic is and I'd appreciate it if you could elaborate. My hallucinations usually aren't related to anything to any visual patterns like yours, but some are, though I don't think they are triggered by anything.

It's great that you're being treated. :D Can a minor get medications for schizophrenia or depression? What are the symptoms of what you have, anything that we hadnt talked about?

I myself have no self esteem whatsoever. I hate myself and I haye how I fail at everything. Like you, I try to be a good, responsible, and respectful person. But I never help anyone enough, no matter how hard I try.

I hope your Christmas and new years was wonderful!

evanock 07-04-2012 12:21 AM

Re: I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
PICACHU915, Honey you are not alone. and yes you can get medication for your hallucinations, my daughter at the age of 3 started seeing things but it never escalated until she was eleven, by the age of twelve when it became daily is when she was put on medication for it but was never diagnosed until months later with schizophrenia. I was also told that a minor cannot be diagnosed with schizophrenia??? but she eventually was tested

mosa 07-04-2012 05:42 AM

Re: I need advice on what to to about undiagnosed and ignored schizophrenia syptoms
Dear friend, I am sorry to hear you describe yourself in such a low way, and you have such low self esteem. Although I am a qualified health care professional I have to admit that this is not my area of studies. But I feel that I can give you a few suggestions that may help.

First of all as the other members already advised, you should seek help as soon as possible. As I am not from your country, I may not be fully aware from where you can get help (as this is not available at your school), but I suggest you contact your nearest health centre, or your social welfare dept, they might be able to refer you to the right direction. Demand help from your guidance teacher. Although this service might not be available at your school, they might still be offering help through other agencies.

Do not be gudgemental towards your parents. If they are about my age which I assume they are from your age, we grew up in a society where mental conditions are considered taboo and whoever seeks help will be stigmatized for life. Being a parent myself of 4 kids I am well aware that thank God younger generations are learning to be more tolerant to persons with these conditions. I believe that your parents are reacting this way as they are not fully aware of what you are passing through. They can't understand you because of the lack of education we received when we were teenagers ourselves. I suggest that you obtain information about this condition (from hospital websites) and without talking to your parents leave these notes where they can find them and read them. If they confront you about this don't answer back, tell them that you are only interested because you have a friend who needs help. Don't feel offended if they speak to you in ways you don't expect them to. I am sure that they mean no offence, I am sure that they passed through many sacrifices for you to see you grow into a nice young lady. I am also sure that if they were able to understand your position they would go to the end of the world to see that you are not passing through these problems.

You should never ever think about suicide. This is never an answer to one's problems. I understand that sometimes you feel depressed. Personally in the past I passed through moments of depression, not due to psychological problems, but due to chemical unbalance in my brain due to my health condition. I have never let myself become overcome by these problems, I looked up for ways that I could help me motivate myself. Start a new hobby. I suggest you see the film LOGAN which is a story about a boy who tries to commit suicide due to problems he had. I learned from this film that sometimes you are not aware of how much people around you love you and how prepared they are to do the utmost to help you in your problems. The coin always has two sides and sometimes what you perceive as lack of care or love from those around us is only just the way how we are interpreting things momentarily. This interpretation is not always correct and we can be mistaken too. Another film which is good for motivation, is BILLY ELLIOT. A story about a boy about your age who wanted to learn Ballet while his father wanted him to learn boxing. This is a good story that demonstrates that where there is a will there is a way.

I would like to thank you for the courage you demonstrated by writing this post. Through your writing I learned to be more understanding to empathise and try my best to help. I am going to send you a friend request through this site. I am always prepare do listen. I also suggest you make new friends. Friends who accept you for who you are. When I developed my condition which is considered as a disability, I looked at myself and realised that I am still the same person inside. I am not going to let myself become depressed due to how others perceive my condition. I started making friends on this web site, and although I take truck loads of treatments, I still consider myself healthy and refuse to follow society's norm that discriminate and outcasts the sick and the disabled people.

One other thing I would like to tell you :Never do drugs. Remember with drugs alcohol or any other form of abuse, you will only cause further problems, thus causing further deterioration to your health status.

This is all the time I have for now. I hope that you find my few poor words helpful, and start to feel better. Wish you luck,

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