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    Old 07-12-2018, 10:38 AM   #1
    Join Date: Jul 2018
    Posts: 1
    Arran123 HB User
    Self harm

    I've been suffering from depression for around 9 years now, regrettably I only seeked help 2 years ago. I've recently starting noticing a decline again but this time I had the urge to injure myself. I did it once and so far haven't thought about doing it again but I'm obsessed with staring at it. Has anyone ever had anything similar to this?

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-12-2018 at 08:12 PM.

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    Old 01-10-2019, 06:58 AM   #2
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    Re: Self harm

    Dear Arran,

    I'm sorry that I only now saw your cry for help.
    Don't be hard on yourself, dear. We only can take action to help ourselves when we can. Much in life is not easy to face or accept.

    I have had serious hardship in my life with a manic-depressed split personality mother. It was not her fault how she had been treated as a child but I had a love-hate relationship with her inside myself (would not dare cross her in real life). She passed away several years back. I found that I still needed to deal with my own guilty feelings for despising her and so I paid a really great psychologist to help me learn to relax and see that others suffer these things, not just me. Now I know I am not alone in the mental and emotional ups and downs and struggles. Now I can say with confidence that you are so not alone in your struggles, hon!

    In the past I have been self-destructive, even suicidal with deep depression. I don't allow myself to stay there any more. I believe it really is a matter of self-talk. I pay attention to what I allow myself to dwell on and my self-talk. I happen to believe in God, so I practice confessing when I get self-destructive in my thoughts, and I ask for right thoughts and a new perspective of what is going on in my life. I do let myself down but God never does let me down. I come out of the slump I was in, every time.

    I do believe we need someone bigger than ourselves to deal with the harshness of some of the realities of life. Life is beautiful, but there is also the dark, harsh side of things. Some people find it easy to dwell on the good but some of us have been rather pounded by hard things in life so we have to make a conscious effort to refuse to stay in the dumps.

    You can turn the scar that you stare at into a reminder of God's love of you and others. Let the scar that healed, that you survived, be a badge of honor. Not about what you did to harm yourself but that your body is able to recover and heal. This reality helps me believe there is a goodness and power bigger than me, and it gives me hope.

    I think there are many, many people that are in different stages of the struggle of overcoming things. You are a survivor. Remember you are not alone in this, hon.

    ~ YaYa ~

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