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  • Just a little surport.... cause ive been there

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    Old 01-03-2004, 09:43 PM   #1
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    Just a little surport.... cause ive been there

    Hi, sorry this going to be kinda long but its a my life line to make it more understandable why i did what you guys do.

    0-2 years old: my mom would leave me crying for hours not caring, would never feed me, burned me with lighters, my dad didnt know most of what was going on at the time.

    3-4 years old: when i was 3 i guess my grandpa ( my moms dad) thought it would be fun to rape me..( the only people that know was me, my grandma and him, no one said anything) my parents divorced when i was 4, i stayed with my dad.

    5-7 years old: I cont. to stay with my dad, when i was 6 his uncle moved in and he started ****** me more then once, again i didnt say anything cause i thought i was doing something wrong, it went on for awhile, then he admitted it and went to prison. when i was 7 almost 8 i went to live with me moms parents.

    8-10 years old: about 4 months after i moved in my grandpa got cancer, he became VERY abusive, giving me bloody noses,pulling out my hair, making me work 10-15 hours on the weekend, 6 hours of chores and homework durin the week, telling me I was worthless and that he was going to leave me on the street to die,threathing to kill my dad and my cat if i said anything. when i was 10 he died.

    11-13 years old: when i was 11 everything seemed fine, but when i hit 12 i wanted to go back and live with my dad. My grandma didnt think he was ready to have me back. I started becoming, a real "witch", I started not caring going, dating a 15 year drug dealer, started drinking expermenting with drugs, when i was 13, my b/f and i slipt for a couple of months in that time i wanted drugs, so i was doing sexual favors for guys, no having sex, just oral. cutting myself, burning myself. My grandma didnt know anythin that was going on cause she worked alot. Right before the new school yar she let me go back to my went well for about 3 months then he started dating this lady that didnt like me. My dad thought i was jealous but, i wasnt i just didnt like her, in the end she took him for 45,000 bucks, before the end i had to change schools. The first day I was there they already had ruomrs going around that I was pregnant, and dating a 23 year old pimp/drug dealer, everything got so bad i had cops taking to and from school.after that school year was over i moved to a different state.

    14-17 years old: When i moved I started high school,I was 13-14 years everyone pinned me as a shy, band girl, but behind doors I was drinking, doing drugs, cutting myself with, razors, knifes anything sharp, fighting with my dads .dad. when i was 14 i broke up with my drug dealer b/f. i cont to do the drinking and stuff. when i was 16 i finally told myself i had enought, that i needed to stop.. i did stop on my own... i was totaly clean for 10 months. my ex had talked me into going to a party where i used to live and he had cleaned himself up.. turned his life around, cause he was goin to be a daddy, and wanted to be a good one. Anyways I got there i had a headache, this guy gave me a glass of pepsi, and i drank it, next thing I knew my ex was beating the living crap out of his ex best freind. later i found out he's slipped that date rape drugs into the pespi and then raped me....a couple days later he forced me to go to a clinic, I did and i found out i was pregnant, i called the guy up, he started calling me a ****, telling me he hopes it dies and other stuff. about 4 months later i had a miscarraige..i told the guy and he was thrilled, adding i would of mad a crapping mother. I lyed to doctors,parents and freinds, to hide the pregnancy and the miscarrige. mainly cause i was asshamed. after all that i didnt see the point in trying to turn my life around.. so i went back to doing everything i was doing 1 year prior to that this. i did it for about 3 months agian then stoped.....things were ok for a couple months then in i found out that guy that raped me killed my ex's freind in a drug deal, then killed himself. later i found out my ex's daughter had cancer, ( him and i were still VERY good freinds) last July his daughter died, then not to long later he killed himself, i went insane. My b/f at the time didnt know anything cause was 250 miles away working. He knew it it me hard, I wanted to die to....i went back to cutting myself and doing more drugs getting in trouble with the law.. crying myself to sleep every night.

    18- Present. I broke up with the guy of my dreams.( one 250 miles away working all the time)..cause he was working so much not ever being able to see him was tearing me apart..and him being banned from the states didnt help...i still miss him but moved on....right now its Jan. and i stopped hurting myself....I turned 18 in Sept. and sense Oct. I havent hurt myself in anyway...and i plan to get married soon to my new b/f.....who helped me get though everything thanks * Jason* love ya

    anyways the point in telling you all this was..most of you have reasons why you do the things you do, and alot of peope wont take the time to listen, I will, i know how it is to think i'm goin insane that, i'm not normal... I hope this helps some of you, if you need to chat or need surport, i'll be one of your surporters..


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    Old 01-03-2004, 10:29 PM   #2
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    SKAlee's Avatar
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    Re: Just a little surport.... cause ive been there

    hey... wow... amazing story... i would say sorry for all the stuff that happened to you and all that jazz but it seems you have gotten past it... thats fantastic... i hope you keep moving forward... thank you for sharing your story...

    Old 01-04-2004, 07:17 AM   #3
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    Re: Just a little surport.... cause ive been there

    wow, you've been through so much, i'm glad you've managed to come through it all ok, and thank you for sharing your story.

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