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shellie4801 07-29-2004 04:08 PM

hi i'm new and confused
Okay....well I'm very confused becuase I'm not sure if I really have a "problem" or not. I started out just with a safety pin poking holes in my wrist about two years ago. Then one day I was feeling really frusterated and found some glass and cut my hands on purpose. I've been feeling worse lately and I guess its been about a year that whenever I'm mad at myself I cut my wrists, theres bleeding but I don't cut veins. I also have gotten into the "habit" (if you could call it that) of cutting in weird places like my arms, my legs, my neck, but again no major bleeding or anything. Thats why I'm not sure if I should even consider getting some help. I would feel kind of silly going to a doctor when all I have is basically scratches. Sometimes I feel like this is stupid I should talk to someone about it because I got frusterated at myself that I don't cut deeper. I keep telling myself "one day i'm not going to be a wimp and cut those damn veins" But I never have. so....what do you think? Would you even say that I am a "cutter"? even tho I'm not really putting myself in extreme danger like having to go a hospital or something like that. Ok. i'm not sure if this message even makes sense..I'm just kind of rambling...sorry about that. But if you have any advice or opinion, whatever, I'd appreciate a reply. Thanks for reading this.....Rochelle

glorydots 07-29-2004 07:57 PM

Re: hi i'm new and confused
Hi Shellie.

Yes, I would say that you are a cutter. Obviously something is making you feel like you need to be doing this. Please talk to someone you trust about your feelings and what you are doing. If need be, please talk to a therapist and maybe they can help you understand why.
I used to cut many years ago, and sweetheart, there are reasons why you do it.
please talk to someone...
You don't have to be rushed to the hospital in order to be a cutter. Just the mere act of wanting to penetrate your skin is of a concern.
I wish you all the best and hope with all my heart that you can battle whatever is inside of you that makes you want to do this to your beautiful self.
Please let us know how you are.
Sending you warm healing bear hugs.


Dayzed 07-31-2004 12:38 PM

Re: hi i'm new and confused
I was 11 when I started the pin poking, and 12, when I began to "cut". I regret even starting. At the beginning stages, which you are now, I could have stopped it. Eventually I started cutting deeper and deeper. I hope you can control it early, and learn that this is the easy way out. I am a coward. I'm afraid of letting go of my temorary happiness, that ends up being more pain then if I were to have stopped this when I had the chance.. I am still working at it.. But you, you have the chance right now to help yourself. The question is... WILL you help yourself before it gets too much to handle. Please think about that and use our information wisely. This IS a problem. I wish you the best. And take care of yourself.!


zimnah 08-16-2004 05:51 PM

Re: hi i'm new and confused
Rochelle: I hope you read this: Like everyone before me said, yes, dear this IS a problem. I am in my thirties, and have been cutting for nearly 20 years. It started for me much the same way. As you get older, pain gets more real. Let me explain: it was crushing when my boyfriend and I broke up before the prom. Neither of us went, and we missed a big part of our teenage years. However, that became literally nothing when I found out my husband (now EX husband, thank you very much) was spending his weekend duties (he was inthe navy) with one of his coworkers. They thought it was funny to call me after sleeping together and tell me the gory details...I still don't know why I couldn't hang up the phone. I just sat there and listened to the two of them giggle. The pain I felt increased tenfold, and the mroe pain I was in, the deeper I cut. When I finally left my ex, his final blow was to molest my eldest son. That was when I went for the vein. My son is well after 12 years of therapy...but I still have deep scars over my elbow joints, which make normal blood tests a trial, both for me and the person assigned to draw blood from me.
Stop before it gets bad. Stop now. Seek help now. It doesn't get better if you go it alone.
Take care, sweetie.

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