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Afraid to get help, afraid of being hospitalized.

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Old 02-24-2010, 08:36 PM   #1
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Location: White Lake Wisconsin "USA"
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kbrand0554 HB User
Afraid to get help, afraid of being hospitalized.

afraid so called professionals in my small town will talk about me.

I am a picker. I was molested at 12, I had large breasts all of my life, and men could never look me in the eye. I was self conscious for years after, I hated having breasts, I wished for cancer just to get them removed.

I had breast reduction surgery, at 13, as my breasts were causeing my shoulders to curve, and I was suicidal over class mates teasing me about large breasts.

after surgery, I felt as if one was still large, and one was smaller.

I continually picked at them hoping to cause damage enough to get them cut off. I have been depressed for years, and filled with anxiety, and picking helps to aleviate the anxiety welling up in me. its been 34 years, and I still pick at them, they have never been healed.

I want to permanently scar myself so no man wants me. but I have been married, and he was accepting of my odd behaviors, and so is my current boyfriend, and my boyfriend before him.

Anxiety wont let me stop.

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Old 03-30-2010, 10:36 AM   #2
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Re: Afraid to get help, afraid of being hospitalized.

Many people think that SI will place them in a mental hospital. This is not always the case. Therapy may help you feel better , and have someone professional to talk to .
Self harm does not mean a person will be hospitalized unless they are psychotic , and caused extreme harm to themselves.

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