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Thinking about cutting again...

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Old 07-29-2012, 02:26 PM   #1
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Unhappy Thinking about cutting again...

Hi, this is my first ever post and I think I need some advice.

I used to cut as a teenager and I stopped when I was 16 (I'm now 21). When I was with my ex I went through a really tough time with him, he was a really quiet, nice intelligent guy and one day he lost his temper and almost threw me down the stairs.

I split from him but we had to carry on living together because of my tenancy agreement. I found out that while we were together he was getting up when I fell asleep and watching porn on my laptop while I was sleeping (which gave my laptop viruses that deleted my uni work). When I found this out I spiralled out of control and started drinking heavily and I self-harmed again for the first time in 5 years.

Now, I'm going through a rough patch at home. Usually I use uni as my distraction because I love what I study and to me its the most important thing in my life. I find it hard because I know everyone goes on about family and friends and support but I genuinely don't have any, when I talk to them they just stress me out more. I'm on summer holiday at the moment and I'm finding that every day the urge to cut is getting stronger and stronger. I feel like I'm spiralling into depression and I just want to drink and take pills and make myself feel better.


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Old 08-01-2012, 01:46 PM   #2
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Re: Thinking about cutting again...

It seems to me you're surrounded by people who make you unhappy. The thing you have to do is find a way to part yourself from them. I'm not going to say you need your family so stick with them. You aren't happy being around them for whatever reasons. Don't ever hurt yourself because of someone else. They are NEVER worth that. You can simply erase them and you can change situations in your life that you're not happy with. But if you cut yourself too deep one day, you can never get your life back. Please think about that. I used to cut myself all the time growing up. I'm now 26 and there are times I fall into a deep dark depression even though I have kids and I'm married, I think of doing it again. I even attempt to take pills until my husband stops me and I snap out of it. Depression and self-harm are very hard to fight but you've been doing great so far. Do not let your family bring you back to that life again. Maybe see a counselor.

Old 08-12-2012, 09:51 PM   #3
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Re: Thinking about cutting again...

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. I also have a problem with cutting, so I know what that's like. I also know what it feels like to have no one by your side supporting you. It's rough. But the people on this site are very supportive and can talk you through anything.

As far as wanting to drink, I definitely know what that's like too. I also know it just makes you feel way worse. It's like it only covers up what's going on. Never really helps. I learned the hard way on that.

Is there anything positive that helps take your mind off what's going on? Maybe try to look into some new things to help keep you occupied when the urges hit.

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