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Cutting since I was 15... Still doing it at 27...

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Old 09-11-2012, 05:17 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2005
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Saraw08 HB User
Cutting since I was 15... Still doing it at 27...

I'm writing this after I've just had another session of cutting.

I haven't even been on these boards since like 2007.

I don't even know why I'm writing this.

By all indication, I have the perfect life. I have a wonderful teaching job. I'm engaged to the best man imaginable. I love my family, I love my life, but I can't seem to break this habit.

Its the littlest things it seems. Sometimes I'll go months and months without cutting and I think I'm cured and will never do it again. Then something happens and its all over again.

I'll try to keep this short, my fiance and I are living with his parents while we wait to close on a house. We're both teachers but he chooses to work later. (I'm 5th year he's 1st year). His stepmom asked me to pick up some things at the store. I have NO money. He's doing better than me. I asked him to pick stuff up. His stepmom got ******. I don't know why....

I took it way personally. I took a bath and had at it. I feel nauseated. I want to just leave. I've been in therapy, I just can't seem to break this habit. I'm at a complete loss. I feel so stupid like a damn teenager. But I'm a grown woman now... What is wrong with me?

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Old 09-11-2012, 08:23 PM   #2
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Re: Cutting since I was 15... Still doing it at 27...

Hello Saraw08.

I think the problem is cutting can be a very difficult habit to give up. Unfortunately, cutting isn't something that automatically stops once you become an adult and achieve the perfect life you always wanted. I'm about the same age as you, and I also started cutting in my teen years. I haven't cut in about a year, but I still get the urges.

What I try to do when I feel the urge to cut is I tell myself these feelings aren't permanent and the situation can be resolved without having to cut. I know this is easier said than done, but I'm not sure of how else to describe my strategy to abstain from cutting.

Has therapy been any help with controlling the urge to cut? If you are able to develop better coping mechanisms, I think it may be easier to refrain from cutting.

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