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How often?

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Old 11-25-2003, 07:25 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 76
sugarplum_pdx HB User
How often?

This question is for those who are in long term relationships (say, 2 years or more).

[regarding sex] Is it normal for things to dwindle a LOT after a few years, especially when you're living together or married?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 11-25-2003 at 09:12 PM. Reason: surveys/questions/polls that attempt to obtain specific personal sexual information of posters are not allowed on the sexual health forums...question rephrased

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Old 11-25-2003, 08:30 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Casnovia MI USA
Posts: 193
giddyup715 HB User
Re: How often?

LOL! I gotta say something here....those polls taken about how often are pretty much exaggerated. The avg is 2-3x's a week. Ok now tie in, having babies, and the wife is exhausted from getting up all night with the babies. Then school starts, and the wife is just tired from driving to all the school activities and also if she works tie that in too. Seems like husband comes home from work, goes on the net, or watches sports, has a few beers, eats dinner than falls asleep(but if he can coax the wife in bed for some of his won't take long he says) and she finishes up the wash or dishes and makes his lunch...then plops into bed just to get up in the AM to start the day over....hahaha...this can go on forever! Endless cycle! Woman feels guilty about depriving in....guilty about what she's gotta do for kids in the in to kids....she gets
LOL! If my husband hear's one more report about how often men have sex in a week and (our's) is below standard I'm gonna scream !!!!
We had 5 kids under the age of five at one time.
Now they are in their teens. I work weird hours. The best time for us to make love is in the middle of the day on my day off. And yep, the kids are home!

Let me put it this is more infrequent but..................
it's the best sex I ever had in my entire life!!
When you haven't had it in awhile, and the longer you're married,,,,,the better it gets!
sex is so much better in your 40's than your 20's. I think it's cause you are less inhibited and been with that partner and have nothing to hold back.

Old 11-26-2003, 06:24 AM   #3
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Himes HB User
Re: How often?

I live with my man and it has dwindled ALOT in the past year. You'd think I'd be the one backing away fromit, but it's him. Makes me feel unattractive at times, but he insist it is simply our lifestyle and the fact that we are both busy nonstop

Old 11-26-2003, 07:07 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 3,308
Blastoff9600 HB UserBlastoff9600 HB User
Re: How often?

Ok this is coming from a stay at home mom of two kids...I kind of have a bone to pick with the first reply. Reason being is no matter what I always have time for sex with my DH,he is the one that has a low sex drive. If it were up to me I would have sex at the very least once a day/night but it doesnt happen that way. Not all moms are effected by having kids and all that it entails.
Also one cant go by how much sex others have...the reason being is we are all different and hence our drives will be different. Also throw in that we do change as we age,sex drives can wax and wane from time to time. Also some people are effected by busy lifestyles. Then of course when you live with someone one starts to take for granted that sex will be there whenever so it can dwindle because there isnt the urge to romance and such to get sex. Not saying this happens with all couples but it does tend to happen for many.
You have to go by what feels right for you and your partner. If you feel you arent getting enough then talk to your partner to wee if things can be worked on.
Married 3/25/95
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02

Old 11-27-2003, 12:49 AM   #5
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1
Stikbo HB User
Smile Re: How often?

LOL giddyup715- As a stay at home DAD for 4 1/2 years (2 sons-18 months and 5 years) I guess I should be exhausted too. Got up with them nightly and still do when need be. All household duties, school functions, swim lessons, t-ball, YMCA, lawn care, cars, bills, doctors, dentists, shopping, dinners,haircuts, home remodel, etc,etc. I don't believe I've ever had the need to say "Not tonight dear...I'm just too tired." My wife however has been known to be too tired from a long day at the office. Women by and large just have a lower sex drive regardless of the roles each play in their families lives.

That said I would guess that a couple times a week is the norm for us and most people in our age group (40) that I've discussed it with.

Old 11-27-2003, 02:26 PM   #6
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michelleygrl HB User
Re: How often?

Me and my fiance have been together for almost 2 years now and living with him for a little over a year. when we first got together we used to have sex like every night then it got to be like 4-5 times a week then like 2-3 times a week then once a week. now i'm lucky if we have sex once a month. we still love each other very much...but sex just doesnt seem as important in our relationship anymore. i dont think thats a bad thing either....i just think things change are your relationship progresses.

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