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I don't understand why people fantasize when they claim they are "happy"

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Old 01-13-2012, 02:53 AM   #1
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I don't understand why people fantasize when they claim they are "happy"

Me and my boyfriend have sex 4 times a week, and I found out he had been using porn and pretended he was having with the women in the video sometimes, he claims he thought this was ok and that I would of been fine with it. I watched some porn myself but I always pretended it was me and my boyfriend. I have seen people and found them attractive and enjoyed watching music videos with attractive men in but I don't pretend I'm having sex with them, I just don't feel the need. Why do people want to look at others when they are getting what they want? I feel like he likes them better than me because they are prettier and better in bed. He also says he isn't bothered about me thinking of other men because he'd know I would be thinking of him after I've finished, I've tried it wouldn't work

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Old 01-21-2012, 02:36 PM   #2
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Re: I don't understand why people fantasize when they claim they are "happy"

I'm sorry but I think this may have been discussed pretty thoroughly in some other posts, but here goes; Men do this! It has nothing to do with you and believe me, he is not unhappy with you but an active sex life stimulates the brain and fantasies, not the other way around. Women have trouble understand this but men like porn because it stimulates them visually and sexually. But, honest to goodness, when men shut the door on porn or fantasies, it's over - the book is shut - adios. Try not to let it bother you and I realize it might be hard to do, but at the end of the day, it has no thing to do with you. Try to be happy in your relationship and work towards that and drop this. That's the best advice I can give.

One caveat I have to mention, I am not saying that porn can't become a "problem" if used extensively or instead of a live partner. I'm not hearing that in what you've written but it's worth keeping an eye on. Good Luck to both of you!

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