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Issues with intimacy

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Old 01-08-2013, 09:34 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Darlington
Posts: 7
ImRatherWorried HB User
Exclamation Issues with intimacy

About a year ago I came out of a two year relationship, I decided to move on and start seeing other women. Soon after deciding I also find men attractive. I'm not sure how this started but when I finally 'make my pull' and get a girl to come home with me and we finally get to the point of being completely naked I start to get really nervous and struggle to keep erect, it's somewhat embarrassing.

But when I'm doing sexual stuff with a guy I'm able to keep erect but only if I can't see his face (I think this is because they mostly have slight facial hair, sounds stupid I know) but I don't think I'm ready to start having full intercourse with a man.
All in all I prefer women most put I seem to be getting kind of scared to give oral, for the fact I get nervous and it makes my male parts retract even further back..
But with men I'm eager to give oral, it just doesn't add to my sex drive, still unable to get erect.

don't know what to, and I don't know what to think. Can someone please help me understand what's going on! I don't know who I am.

Last edited by ImRatherWorried; 01-09-2013 at 12:49 AM.

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Old 01-09-2013, 01:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Western U.S.
Posts: 14
Foster54321 HB User
Re: Issues with intimacy

Please forgive me if my response seems disrespectful to your newfound identification as bisexual. Perhaps you are indeed legitimately bisexual, but your posts seem to hint at ambivalence around that. It almost sounds like your attraction to men is more about your interest in exploring your own (male) body. Maybe it seems safer to learn about your sexuality with another man because you've got the same genitalia as compared to women (who you may think you don't fully understand and who don't fully understand you). The fact that you said you get nervous about giving oral sex to women but that you are actually more attracted to women (and don't even want to look at a man's face when you're with him) makes it sound like you are probably more on the heterosexual side of things. Your nervousness with women might be simply because you're afraid of not satisfying them. And, once that fear kicks in, it's easy to want to retreat.

You say that you're fine with giving oral sex to men, but it doesn't really turn you on, which seems like another indication that you may not be as attracted to men as you are to women. If women are making you nervous, you are probably more sexually excited (and thus, intimidated) by women. My recommendation would be to consider that there is just as much room for exploration and play with women as there is with men. That is, you may be telling yourself that it's okay to still be experimental and a novice with men while putting pressure on yourself to be an expert with women. That pressure is not necessary. Try to just explore your sexuality with women without expecting yourself to do everything perfectly. If you regain your comfort and confidence with women, then you may be in a better position to discover if you also want to be with men because you won't be coming from a place of fear and self-doubt.

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Old 01-09-2013, 02:32 AM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Darlington
Posts: 7
ImRatherWorried HB User
Re: Issues with intimacy

You've made some great point there, I think I understand it abit better. Thank you x

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bisexual, erectile disfunction, intimacy

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