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Please help! Partner pressure


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Old 09-21-2013, 03:55 AM   #1
MummyKate
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Please help! Partner pressure

Hi there

Please any advice would be appreciated, I have been with my partner now for a little over 2 years. We have a wonderful baby daughter who is now 9 months and things are great! Apart from our sex life

I have just been diagnosed with post natal depression (after months of denial) along with an ongoing stomach illness that I've now had for 5 years plus obviously the trauma of giving birth is still fresh in my mind! And as I tore there was quite a significant amount of nerve damage

From when our LG was 5/6 weeks he started asking for sex again, I do feel that I need to add the before baby I had a very very high sex drive, and that's when it started, it was really painful!! And where I am left now is backed into a corner of continuous pressure and guilt being thrown my way. he keeps saying he wNts things to be like they used to be, and keeps dragging up my past and throwing it at me that I did that with so and so and therefore he is missing out and he is not the best, he is also very insecure about the size of his penis despite me telling him time and time again that it's really not small! We don't have a bad or non existent sex life, but he wants it every day at least once and my sex drive is nil! Non existent! I'm trying so hard to satisfy him and ease his insecurities but we can't touch each other or be a little naughty without the pressure if well we need to have sex now, and it's the planning, he will tell me in the morning that he wants go have sex later that evening when our daughter is in bed, which gives me the whole day to work myself up! I have developed a complete complex about sex and I'm now stuck in a rut, I keep asking him to give me time, but his version if time is a week or so and then will tell me what a wonderful person he is for giving me that week of not mentioning anything, he is a wonderful person and has admitted to being a little sex mad but I fear this will break us as if I say no it's the end of the world and I'm "rejecting" him so I naturally feel very guilty but if I just "give" myself to him that also is not good enough as I must also enjoy it or he feels bad, every now and again I snap at him when he has his little digs like "you fell asleep on me last night, I was up til 4 in the morning because you led me on" I'm a complete mess in my own head anyway right now, and I really feel I'm going to break or we will, thank you for reading my mini essay x

 
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:06 PM   #2
lenvegas
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Re: Please help! Partner pressure

Hi, this is not a good situation, he is using you as a proving ground for his manhood and thinks the world revolves around his penis. If he had more insight he would realize if he left you alone that you would come back to him and it would be like it was before. You need to be the one to control the situation and if you say no and it hurts his feelings then so what?.......maybe he will grow up and realize the most important part of a relationship is the consideration for your partner. The fact that he wants to see you enjoy it has nothing to do with you rather it is to make him feel more like an adequate lover, very sad. Tell him the truth, tell him how you feel, you can not be faulted for telling the truth and if he does not like it well, let the chips fall where they may.......be strong

 
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