It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Sexual Health - General Message Board

My girlfriend is 'lazy' in bed

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-16-2014, 02:45 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Posts: 3
wellieman HB User
My girlfriend is 'lazy' in bed

I've been with my girlfriend for around 3 months now, I'm 20 and she's 17 and I do feel like I've met some one really special. It's the first time I've felt I can tell some one anything and I feel comfortable with her at all times. She's just a brilliant girlfriend and so much fun to be with. I've had plenty of other sexual experiences with other girls and she's only had sex with one other guy before me which was her ex of 8 months.

We only have sex at my house due to her parents being home all the time, so we usually do it 2-3 days a week. We both have high sex drives and often do it 3-4 times each night we see each other and I enjoy every second of it. She has no problems in initiating sex and she makes it clear when she would like too which is great. She's pretty open to experimenting in different locations and perhaps using food, and handcuffs etc in the future, it's all sounding rosy right!

But... she does not like any form of foreplay, she will not perform any foreplay on me, which doesn't bother me much at all, but she will also not let me perform any sort of foreplay on her which I find unbelievably frustrating. I love going down on a girl and giving her pleasure, it gives me massive satisfaction to see a girl enjoying herself. And then when it comes to the actual sex it is nearly all missionary, she is not willing to experiment with any position that is her on top. Now I do prefer missionary to any other position thankfully, and have always preferred being on top but it needs to be mixed up a little!! Many times my muscles have nearly totally burned out and I'm left struggling to even get to my climax because I'm so worn out.

She does have minor problems with her hips and has said that missionary is best for them, and has also said that if she goes on top she can't keep it up for very long partly because of hips and partly lack of energy. She has also stated that she doesn't feel she has any rythem which to me sounds as if she's just a little scared to disappoint me. But then she has openly admitted to me that she is lazy in bed which I just don't understand. When I'm in the bedroom all of my effort goes in to trying to give the girl a great time because I want her to love every second of it. Saying that you don't do foreplay because you don't like it or you don't do on top because you're lazy just comes across to me as selfish.

She is very self-conscious in the bedroom, she thinks her body is ugly which it almost certainly isn't being a size 8 with D cup boobs. It took her 6 weeks just to take her bra off in the bedroom and she said that I'm the first guy that has ever seen her boobs, which is pretty considerable considering she was with her ex for 8 months. But still after 3 months she will often cover herself up down there with her hands when I turn the lights on and wouldn't want me to see anything. She does get very wet which I'm not sure if she's worried about, I absolutely love it, and the times I have caught a glance at down there afterwards it's often pouring out. I tell her every time that I think she's sexy and her body is amazing but she just says 'no it isn't' every time, it's so sad to hear. It's amazing because outside the bedroom she is extremely confident.

I'm not trying to boast but I know that I'm good in the bedroom and have been told it multiple times before but she isn't open to me even trying foreplay on her, I've said that maybe with me it will be different but nope.

I really do love this girl but I'm left totally frustrated by this, her lack of willingness to at least try. I just don't know whether to talk to her about it or not, because I still love the sex. I'm totally lost

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 02-20-2014, 07:06 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 940
Fles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB UserFles HB User
Re: My girlfriends 'lazy' in bed

I just don't know whether to talk to her about it or not
Of course you should talk about it with your gf.

From what you say, you are doing all you can to make her feel comfortable with her body. She has a body image problem which probably should be dealt with by a professional.

Keep trying to boost her confidence. Eventually you should try to convince her to talk to a doctor or other health professional (with you).
I hear the beat of a different drummer
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Old 02-22-2014, 09:54 PM   #3
Junior Member
brooklynsky's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 12
brooklynsky HB User
Re: My girlfriend is 'lazy' in bed

To be honest your girlfriend is doing the same thing i use to do (i would think u were writing about me lol). i dont think you mention if you were her 1st but for a long time and i mean long time that was me . I didnt want to get on top or show any skin and surely not downtown and if the lights came on i would hide
yes i like them enough to have sex with them but not show them all of my body parts.I to have a high sex drive and most of the times i would initiate sex but sometimes i would just lay their .most of it was because i had low self esteem i felt like my body wasnt perfect like i wanted it to be .i felt like they would see my stretch marks and run (lol) i mean that wasnt the case but hey us females tend to think about the little things on our bodies .like to be real with u no matter how much you tell her, her body is beautiful if she doesnt feel that way about her body it will go in one ear an out the other. she 1st has to see her body as beautiful and that could take time maybe 6months maybe 6 years. once someone feels body conscious its kinda hard to talk them out of it . another thing that might work is to try and take a break from sex for a week or 2. the longer the better most of the times for me when i havnt had sex in a long time like 2 -3 months or even 2-3 weeks i seem to be more kinky or in other words down for what ever .maybe then u could try some new moves on her .i personally think u might have to wait and give her and her body some time .maybe in time she would come around. cause i know with me once i felt more comfortable with the person i became less body conscious and more open to trying new things . but i hope i didnt confuse u and yes have a convo with her as well ....good luck =)

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Do I have rocd or in just falling out of love with my girlfriend Help20 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 3 10-23-2012 06:02 PM
I think I'm in love with someone who isn't my girlfriend anon999ymous Relationship Health 4 07-29-2012 10:44 PM
Still difficult to get out of bed? KWC Gallbladder 4 07-29-2012 07:01 PM
My girlfriend unable to orgasm during sex.. my another girlfriend has other issues naveedahmed Sexual Health - General 3 07-11-2012 06:57 PM
Guy interested in my girlfriend? Loveaddict Relationship Health 3 07-10-2012 07:00 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:59 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2017 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!