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sexually overthinking


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Old 11-01-2014, 04:06 AM   #1
sarca1989
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sexually overthinking

Hi,
Ive been reading a few post that are similar to mine but nothing that can help me so here goes.
Im basically looking for anything to jolt me out of the way im thinking! My problem is somewhat backward. If i know my husband has seen/googled a sexual image then i get this sick belly feeling. The problem is i dont know why. This is because i dont care if he watches porn( i like it) or masturbates. I dont care if he thinks other women are more attractive or if he looked at non sexual images of a woman and though she was beautuful. I dont expect him not to find other woman attractive. Im not insecure - as in think im unattractive or have an ugly body. but i am realistic and know if a woman has a more pleasing body/look to my husband. And most of the images he will look at are of woman who are close to his ideal(which is obvious). I know he loves me and married me. I know he fancies me. I trust he wont cheat. This isnt his problem i know its mine. #i dont think he consciously compares but i wonder if any may looking will always be woman more pleasing than their wives subconscious? I know men are visual(although no one can explain exactly what it feel like) etc etc but nothing takes way the gut feeling i get and i want it to.

 
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Old 11-01-2014, 09:05 AM   #2
lenvegas
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Re: sexually overthinking

Hi, I think that you are coping with this situation very well on an intellectual level, however the bad feeling you get in your gut is a physical reaction to an emotional response. The seed of our emotions are in our gut so it makes sense that when you react to it on an emotional level you feel it in your gut. This reaction is not out of the realm of normalcy because ones' self esteem comes into play when their partner shows a sexual interest in someone else. I can tell you from my own experience that even if you were the most beautiful woman on the planet that your husband would still look at other women because both men and women have a need for novelty and looking at others helps to satisfy this need. Me, been married twice to very beautiful women but I still looked at porn sites but it never meant I loved my wives any less or were any less attracted to them...

 
Old 11-01-2014, 11:05 AM   #3
sarca1989
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Re: sexually overthinking

Hi thanks for the reply. It makes sense it's an emotional response. But what puzzles me is why I don't get it if he was to masturbate to porn or use images to masturbate? The looking then has a purpose which as I have used porn I get. Again if he was to see a clothed lady who was beautiful and nice to look at I wouldn't get the emotional response? I have spoken to my husband - not sure I'm too open, and he says looking doesn't give him a feeling(other men maybe) but that its just nice to look at. But because it would always be a sexual,photo(cleavage,topless, bikinietc) I find it hard to see how there isn't a feeling? The problem is that the gut feeling is probably a daily feeling otherwise I'd just ride out the feeling if it was rare. I need to fix the problem or will either be miserable forever or divorced!haha

 
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