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Please help, I need to stop this.

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Old 07-14-2005, 12:32 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1
QuakerOatmeal HB User
Please help, I need to stop this.

I am straight I like girls and want to eventually find the "right" one, but when I masturbate I cant help but think of guys sometimes, its really annoying and I would appreciate it if someone would tell me how to stop this. Like are there certain steps or what? Any feedback will be helpful.

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Old 07-14-2005, 01:23 PM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,622
Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Re: Please help, I need to stop this.

Hey bud, welcome. Lets start here, you're not alone in this. Alot of us have these thoughts and even fantasy like this. Some of us (like you and me) and a few others are confident enough to be able to admit it and talk about it some, others wouldn't think about being honest about it...and they "suffer" as a result. I believe that owning something and getting honest about it helps us move beyond it and figure it all out. I'm glad you chose to take this step, hopefully it'll get easier for you.

I believe that we are all sexual beings and that our curiosity about sexual things sometimes gets clouded by all sorts of ideas. As curious beings we often wonder how other guys masturbate, what sex is like for them, what their body is like, how developed they are in comparison to us, and sometimes what would it be like to do something sexual with another guy. Some of us do that (yes me) during adolescence and puberty (that too is more common than you think) I'm not saying that you should go get with a friend and masturbate (unless that is something you want to do) What I am saying is that what you're concerned about here is something that is much more common than you think. Simply about curiosity. This doesn't make you gay and even doing things with someone of the same gender doesn't make someone gay....that's so much more about wanting to be in committed relationship with someone of the same gender.

As for tips, if it bothers you then figure out a way to change it when it starts happening. If you're in the process of masturbating already, stop (not the best option) or change the focus to something else totally, like a football game..that way you end the fantasy (and may lose your erection) but then think of that hot girl in your class or some former sexual thing that you remember. I'm not an advocate of porn and have some concerns about it, but if you've got some....use that only when you're not comfortable with your current fantasy. Hope some of this helps, I mainly wanted to validate your current stuff and let you know that you're no different than alot of us and fantasy is just that, no one needs to know anything about yours!

Old 07-14-2005, 01:40 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Mn.
Posts: 785
mrbojangle HB User
Re: Please help, I need to stop this.

Amen to that, Lance2, when I was a young boy some of my friends and I used to masturbate together, not sexual feelings for each other, only seeing what everyone was doing and comparing. No thoughts of being gay and none of us are!!

Old 07-14-2005, 01:42 PM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 437
Zagreus HB User
Re: Please help, I need to stop this.

It's probably best to accept it and not feel guilty about it. We all have to learn to be comfortable with ourselves and not to be ashamed of ourselves or our fantasies. I think working on not feeling ashamed may ultimately be healthier than trying somehow to banish the fantasies.

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