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My first time disaster

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Old 02-06-2007, 06:20 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2
Macca85 HB User
Wink My first time disaster

Hi this is my first post and i was looking for some help with a problem which has given sleepless nights this week.

Let me start of by saying i have tight foreskin, i never did sex ed in school and i honestly thought my penis was normal until around a year ago. A few months ago i tried the stretching techniques which have defeintely started to help, i can now finally see what's under there lol and i do believe i will beable to retract it over the head one day.

The last few weeks i have been having errection problems though, i haven't fully errected for a while and it is playing on my mind now.
While masturbating for about 7 years now i developed away of doing it with the penis quite soft and not fully errect as i felt more pleasure. I fear it has now came back to haunt me.

I was a virgin until last week (might still be), the foreplay was great but even then i wasn't completely errect still. When i started to have sex i was just about hard enough to penetrate but then began to flop badly after about 10seconds maybe less. My penis softend and despite trying numerous positions it just kept softening again and again.
The most embarssing moment of my life.

I've tried to masturbate again this week but still not fully errect. The only way i can get near there is by holding a muscle on the bass of my penis but even then it softens a few seconds after i let go. Now my penis doesn't even feel part of me as it lies flacid, it seems like a peice of meat attached to me.

Another thing i should mention is that when i was 13 or so (i'm 20 now) a dark shaded mark on the bottom of the shaft of my penis became visible. Their is no bump or any soreness when touching but it did sort of tail off round the under side of my penis forming a sort of P shape.
I never bothered with it until last year which i did some research, i paniced when i saw it could've been some sort of leak beginning with 'V'.
But thankfully it said if i still wake up with an errect penis in the morning or can fully errect -which i could do for many years while this mark was still there- then i didn't have it.
Even now though i wake up with the soft errection instead of the full one i used to.
I've never have a wet dream before but i believe that's due to frequent masturbation.
Right now i've decided to give up masturbation for a while and let my errection come naturally instead of trying to force it to see if it helps.

Any ideas of my problem? I'm seriously dreading the next opportunity i have of sex.

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Old 02-13-2007, 12:04 PM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 37
DS HB User
Re: My first time disaster

Im pretty sure what ur talking about is the stretch mark that I think every man gets. I have it, at least. I thought it was a vein at first, but nope!

And ur second problem sounds like good ol' performance anxiety, i had it pretty bad too. Just try to relax and stay confident next time.

Old 02-14-2007, 12:38 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: California
Posts: 442
try-ink HB User
Lightbulb Re: My first time disaster

okay.....I am married by the let me see if I can help you out.

Were you "excited" when you were inserting your penis inside of her??

From my personal experience. My husbands penis is always erect whenever we want to have sex. And it stays erect while his penis is inside of me. As long as he is in the mood his penis will always stay up. mean to tell me, yours just "flops down"-even if you are in the mood??

I're problem is probably nothing. Just remember to practice safe sex(always wear a condom and have personal lubricate near the bed at all times)

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-14-2007 at 02:49 PM. Reason: TMI.

Old 02-15-2007, 07:45 AM   #4
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Earth
Posts: 1
heaboa HB User
Re: My first time disaster

Pretty much the exact same thing *just* happened to me. And it really sucks.

I'm not sure why it happened. I'm hoping that it's a combination of nerves and the fact that I've been playing around with this girl (resulting in multiple ejaculation, nearly every night for about a week). I also masturbated before going to see her (but this was a few hours before) so I would not feel stressed. I've had periods where I masturbated, lots and never noticed much difference, so I didn't think it would be much of a problem.

I'm not sure whether I should see her tonight, or take a break..

It's got to be the most emasculating thing I've ever felt.

Anyway, it's nice to know it's not just me. Reading various website tells me it's kind of common. Ah well..

Old 02-18-2007, 06:11 AM   #5
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MI
Posts: 19
akfr0zen HB User
Re: My first time disaster

you might try a penis ring, it might help you maintain your errection, just a suggestion.

Old 02-18-2007, 01:51 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 825
keil HB Userkeil HB Userkeil HB Userkeil HB User
Re: My first time disaster

I would say it most likely is nerves! beleive me your 2 heads are very much in control!
Relax and cut back on the masturbation, you found a way to pleasure yourself without an erection.... thats a big problem!

Old 02-18-2007, 05:45 PM   #7
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Orwigsburg, PA, USA
Posts: 454
tfkeel HB User
Re: My first time disaster

I fear it has now came back to haunt me.
Firstly, I want to assure you that you have not caused any difficulty for yourself by masturbation. 99% of boys do it..... and the other 1% are liars.

Masturbation does tend to train your responses a little wrong for the real thing, though. It is not something which is going to plague you, as you adapt to having sex with a partner, you will learn new responses which will work just fine.

Secondly, I want you to go see a doctor, preferably a urologist who specializes in sexual dysfunction. You have stated that "for the last several weeks" you have not had a full erection. I am understanding that prior to this "last several weeks" that you did have complete, hard erections. There are several disease mechanisms which begin to present in this manner. Let
the doc check you out fully. If he finds nothing, great.

You fellows who have had a bit of trouble getting started sexually.... I was one of them, too. It's not permanent.... you will overcome this and go on to a fulfilling sex life, particularly when you find the special woman who you choose to love and make her your life's partner. Your sex will get better as you learn to give her pleasure and to trust her with your intimate personhood.

Old 02-21-2007, 03:34 PM   #8
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 2
brentx HB User
Re: My first time disaster

I think I'm a bit late for this thread, but.. IT'S PERFORMANCE ANXIETY FOR SURE!

In my experience, I've discovered that I ALWAYS think too much! I had a gf for a long time and I lost my virginity with her and the sex was always good for 4.5 years.. Now, after this I've had 4 other girls, and I can say that the second girl I was with, I didn't even have sex with on the first night because I couldn't get it up! I was so nervous because I thought she was so hot (a Swiss-Italian model, I don't know how I got her!) and I wouldn't be good enough for her, and.. Boom, down it goes! It's all in the mind, so don't worry! It's happened to me with 2 other girls, though not as bad, and if you have a few bad experiences, the girls will still love you if yuo relax and make up for it next time, haha!

OK then, that's my 2cents worth.. Or maybe more..

Old 02-23-2007, 03:27 PM   #9
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2
Macca85 HB User
Re: My first time disaster

Thanks everyone. Alot of this has put my mind to ease, things are a bit better now and i'm not dreading my next sexual experience lol.

try-ink yes i was in the mood, like i said i was just about fully errect until we started doing it but i just felt my errection become weaker and weaker inside of her.

By the way i forgot to mention i had a large amount of alcohol that whole day plus the night before.
On Sat night i was out drinking 9pm till midnight.
While that Sunday i was drinking from 12 in the afternoon till 3am before going back to hers. Needless to say i was very very drunk, i can't remember parts of the night. What can i say i'm a typical student..

Would a large excess of alcohol perhaps be a reason for my failure?

Old 02-26-2007, 10:28 AM   #10
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: chic
Posts: 10
jscm865 HB User
Re: My first time disaster

I don't think it necessarily has to be performance anxiety. In my opinion, it's most likely that masturbation has caused your penis to be less sensitive. I have a similar problem, if i mast a lot the days b4 sex i tend to go semi limp quickly. On the other hand, if I had touched it in a few days or week it can be hard as a rock for as long as need be. I think you should put put off masturbation for 1 to 2 weeks to regain some sensitivity then try to have sex again.

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